The American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels
be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol
containers:

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when youare not.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at
four in the morning.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite ***
without spitting.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking
than most people.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting your ass kicked.

WARNING:
the crumsumpten of alcohol may Mack you tink youkantpye reel gode