"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I
drink
I feel shamed.
Then I look into the glass and think about the
workers
in the brewery
and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't
drink
this beer, they
might be out of work and their dreams would be
shattered. Then I say
to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer
and
let their dreams
come true than be selfish and worry about my
liver." ~
Jack Handy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When
they
wake up in the
morning, that's as good as they're going to
feel all
day. " ~ Frank
Sinatra
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be
drunk to
spend time
with his fools." ~ Ernest Hemingway
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave
up
reading." ~
Henny Youngman
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case.
Coincidence? I
think not."
~Stephen Wright
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get
drunk,
we
fall asleep. When
we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we
commit
no
sin, we go to
heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to
heaven!"
~ Brian
O'Rourke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Beer (or wine) is proof that God loves us and
wants
us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Without question, the greatest invention in the
history of mankind
is beer.. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was
also a
fine invention,
but the wheel does not go nearly as well with
pizza."
~ Dave Barry
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE ***
SINCE 3000
B.C.!!!
~ "Unknown"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support
Group.
Salvation in a
can!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And saving the best for last, as explained by
Cliff
Clavin, of
Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was
explaining the
Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it
went:
"Well ya see,
Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can
only
move as fast as
the slowest buffalo.
And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest
and
weakest ones at
the back that are killed first. This natural
selection
is good for
the herd as a whole, because the general speed
and
h ealth of the
whole group keeps improving by the regular
killing of
the weakest
members. In much the same way, the human brain
can
only operate as
fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake
of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But
naturally, it attacks
the slowest and weakest brain
cells first. In this way, regular consumption of
beer
eliminates the
weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster
and more
efficient
machine. That's why you always feel smarter
after a
few beers."