Results 1 to 6 of 6
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March 3rd, 2005 10:41 AM #1
The American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels
be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol
containers:
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when youare not.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at
four in the morning.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite ***
without spitting.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking
than most people.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting your ass kicked.
WARNING:
the crumsumpten of alcohol may Mack you tink youkantpye reel gode
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March 3rd, 2005 12:51 PM #2
The consumption of alcohol can make you say: "Take me drunk!, I'm home."
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March 3rd, 2005 01:53 PM #4
The consumption of alcohol will lead you to take a woman home whose face will give you a heart attack in the morning
aka beer goggles
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FrankDrebin GuestMarch 4th, 2005 03:57 PM #6
"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I
drink
I feel shamed.
Then I look into the glass and think about the
workers
in the brewery
and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't
drink
this beer, they
might be out of work and their dreams would be
shattered. Then I say
to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer
and
let their dreams
come true than be selfish and worry about my
liver." ~
Jack Handy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When
they
wake up in the
morning, that's as good as they're going to
feel all
day. " ~ Frank
Sinatra
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be
drunk to
spend time
with his fools." ~ Ernest Hemingway
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave
up
reading." ~
Henny Youngman
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case.
Coincidence? I
think not."
~Stephen Wright
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get
drunk,
we
fall asleep. When
we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we
commit
no
sin, we go to
heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to
heaven!"
~ Brian
O'Rourke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Beer (or wine) is proof that God loves us and
wants
us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Without question, the greatest invention in the
history of mankind
is beer.. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was
also a
fine invention,
but the wheel does not go nearly as well with
pizza."
~ Dave Barry
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE ***
SINCE 3000
B.C.!!!
~ "Unknown"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support
Group.
Salvation in a
can!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And saving the best for last, as explained by
Cliff
Clavin, of
Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was
explaining the
Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it
went:
"Well ya see,
Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can
only
move as fast as
the slowest buffalo.
And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest
and
weakest ones at
the back that are killed first. This natural
selection
is good for
the herd as a whole, because the general speed
and
h ealth of the
whole group keeps improving by the regular
killing of
the weakest
members. In much the same way, the human brain
can
only operate as
fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake
of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But
naturally, it attacks
the slowest and weakest brain
cells first. In this way, regular consumption of
beer
eliminates the
weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster
and more
efficient
machine. That's why you always feel smarter
after a
few beers."
Buhay na buhay ang BGC this evening. Bukas halos lahat ng restaurants. Sabi pa nung isang cashier...
Traffic!