Lying: congenital or acquired?

[boybi]

my eldest son always loses his pencils in school so my wife now puts his name in all his things. then one time, my son saw his pencil being used by his classmate, and incidentally, his best friend. so he told his classmate that it was his pencil. his classmate claimed that it was his, and my son told him that his name was on the pencil. the classmate told my son that his mother made a mistake by writing my son's name on the pencil. this happened just recently. and we have already noticed this habit of lying by this classmate since a few years back, when my son just started schooling, since my son always invite him to come over to our house. we actually tried to convince my son to stay away from him, but since they meet everyday at school, it's difficult to separate the two.

we know the parents of that classmate and i know they won't teach their child to lie or tolerate lying since they're a bit religious. so how did this classmate learn to lie? was it congenital?

[uls]

brain abnormality yan.

http://pn.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/c...ull/40/22/30-a

http://www.usc.edu/uscnews/stories/11655.html

[claRkEnt]

hmmm, tarlac ka di ba sir? malapit sa pampanga!

Arovo ba surname nung classmate ng anak mo?

[Negus]

i just watched a documentary a while ago on NGC and learned that pathological liars or con men have more white matter tissue in their brains (the tissues that transport signals from one part of the brain to the other) than gray matter tissues (the ones which produces the signals or thought). A person with this brain composition is more alert at "detecting" and "reading" a person's expression thus they can lie accordingly and successfully. but of course they did not discount the possibility of pathological lying being acquired from peers or environment.

[BoEinG_747]

hmmm, tarlac ka di ba sir? malapit sa pampanga!

Arovo ba surname nung classmate ng anak mo?

hahaha..baka iyon bata ang may potential na maging ARROYO .
.kaya lang iyon parents kilala nila na mabait

[boybi]

resmile, hehe, mabuti nalang at hindi AROVO surname nya :bwahaha:

[shadow]

my personal view, it is acquired wala naman sigurong tao born liar, habang lumalaki natutunan niya ang pag lie

[BoEinG_747]

^^baka naman nga may lahi hapon iyan,,, Dorovo na nga ..hehehe

[boybi]

i forgot to mention na 7yo palang yung bata ngayon.

[swimstroke]

Hindi siguro gaanong nadidisiplina, napapansin o madalas makalusot kaya sige lang ng sige sa pagsisinungaling. Kapag napaluhod iyan sa asin ng may libro sa kamay at 90 degrees ang angle ng shoulder, malamang magtanda iyan.

[cutedoc]

the case of the bad kid is partly kleptomaniac or he has the tendency to develop it, he lied, 1st to stand firm on his soul, 2nd he doesnt want to be the kid that is being bullyied, but he wants to be the kid to bully, 3rd he lied because he isnt that good yet it keeping things, somehow this is just the means of covering that he knew.

what you could do to help is talk to the parents but i hope asian could imbibe some western culture that they will not take it as a critism but as a help to correct whatever is wrong with their son.

it would be difficult for you to try and let your son stay away from him, kids would ask why, and you dont want to lie, do you, maybe when you saw some more sattle reason and tell your kid that dont see him because he is sick(even simple cold, its viral so you could get infected so you can use that as the excuse without lying) then you keep reiterating that to your kid, subconsciously he will try to avoid going near that bad kid, especially when you tell your son that if you get sick, you wont be able to come with us to shopping to buy your favorite toy, or when your sick your immune system gets low and you cannot join us when we go out.

magnify the facts but dont lie, so you will be guilt free to your son and to the bad kids parents=)

[larshell]

Ang alam ko kundi turo ito tyak na natutunan sa paligid. Hindi siguro pwedeng congenital. IMHO

[boybi]

we had a lesson in our philosophy class when i was still in college: is man by nature good or bad?

the good side says that a man is born good and learned to be bad by its surroundings.

the bad side says that a man is born bad and is thought how to become good.

there are a lot more opinions on each, and all the opinions can be true. nagkaroon pa kami ng debate about this.

i guess in this case, pareho din nung good & bad. parang chicken and egg din.

[ts1n1ta]

nakow dapat malaman ng parents nung bata yan kase baka lumala.

I also think it is acquired. Perhaps natututunan sa yaya or other classmates?

[Alpha_One]

I'd say the lying habit is mostly acquired. Sa totoo lang hindi naman kasi siya kelangan ituro eh, kasi minsan na magsinungaling ka (on your own) at malaman mo na may benefits, you'd do it again. It's much like an adaptive strategy, actually. I have to admit, I lie a LOT. Pero hindi naman tinuro sakin ng magulang ko kung paano o kelan magsinugnaling.

Kid's not a very good liar though. At least not yet.

we had a lesson in our philosophy class when i was still in college: is man by nature good or bad?

the good side says that a man is born good and learned to be bad by its surroundings.

the bad side says that a man is born bad and is thought how to become good.

there are a lot more opinions on each, and all the opinions can be true. nagkaroon pa kami ng debate about this.

i guess in this case, pareho din nung good & bad. parang chicken and egg din.

I think man is neither inherently good nor bad - because "good" or "bad" is quite arbitrary. It's relative and depends a lot from the moral perspective of an individual. Hey, if it isn't, people aren't going to waste any time arguing about political/socioeconomic ideologies, ***, or vegetarianism.

[cutedoc]

being good and bad could also be an environmental factor, though it is still an issue of genetic inheritance, like you get the trait of your mom or your dad, but kids are like sponge they absorbed so much even those thing we dont taught them, they are able to pick it up on the kids that they play with, television, and the surrounding.

to help your kids be protected, instill proper values, set a good example, teach them to pray, and most importantly let them feel the love=)

love means the unselfish kind of love, we oftentimes hear elders say" ganito ang gawin mo kasi ayokong pagdaanan mga pinagdaanan ko, di yan makakabuti sayo" as a curious kid what is it that makes it not good, so you only stir up their curiosity instead of pushing them away... selfless love is letting your kid understand, so parents, i know it is hard but we all had been a kid before, so we could step in into their level of undertsanding=)

[empy]

sounds like the other kid's actions are a cry for attention

[oldblue]

the kid is greedy.

[Flagg]

A kid will lie. It is inevitable. It's merely the instinct to take any opportunity to get the upper hand... (on a more atavistic level, the need to amass more resources to ensure survival).

Kaya nga parents are responsible for stopping this behavior early on. Kahit hindi fault ng child na di sya binantayan... you have the right to protect your own kid.

Sir boybi, para hindi masabihang sumbongero kid mo, sabihan mo syang i-grab nalang ang pencil... tapos pag mag-interfere ang teacher, e may name ng kid mo, so safe sya... makikita mo, di na sila friends nyang batang yan...

[oldblue]

when I was in elementary, i can still remember how 2 of my classmates fought over a pencil. tapos tinusok niya yun kamay noon isa ng malalim as in sagad buto. in the next days, yun natusok parati may green matter yun kamay nya, nana ata yun