How do you deal with friends borrowing money?

[_Cathy_]

A friend/old colleague sent me a message if he could borrow money from me. It's a very small amount but the problem is I know that he also borrowed money from my office BFF/direct boss and he hasn't paid her since. He also borrowed from her books worth P2k+ that he has not returned. My office bff is too nice and polite that I had to ask him to return the books but no reply! Knowing his history, I DO NOT want to lend him money. I cannot make excuses that I don't have money since it is small but I am not giving away money for reasons I do not know. Now my office BFF and I are having a headache on what excuse to make!

I don't this to affect our friendship because he is a nice guy and he used to treat me out a lot. I think something happened in his life that he refuses to talk about because my office BFF and I noticed his change in lifestyle. He is not anymore the galante guy that we used to know. He even gave up his postpaid number!

I don't mind lending money to friends in fact I see it as a sign of deep friendship once money comes in na. Several years ago my close friend and I were at the mall and she saw an item that she really wanted that was on sale only until the next day. It had a discount for cash purchase. The problem was it was a Saturday and the max withdrawal of her ATM for 2 days does not cover the amount so I offered to lend her money. She paid me the full amount on Monday night (banking day). Among my close friends we don't mind lending each other huge amounts because it's just a matter of convenience or not having access to money. Pero if you don't know when the payment is parang ang hirap.

Should I just give the money and think of it as "tulong"?

[_Qwerty_]

simple.. don't.

[Altis6453]

It's always tough when it comes to money and friends.

I lent a good friend some money a while back because his wife was about to give birth and he never paid me back. I just shrugged it off kasi maliit lang naman and considered it my form of "tithing". I guess I just managed my expectations of him.

[garfield_08]

Is this the 1st time he will borrow from you? For me kasi kung 1st time i usually lend some basta small amount lang, being clear kung kelan nila ibabalik. Just think of it as a way to help someone in need (if he really is in need), which is a lot better than being in their shoes. If he doesn't pay up, then its a lesson learned. May karma naman yan.

But if you don't feel giving anything to him due to his track record, then just don't.

[ZENMasterTYL]

napaso na ako dati when i lent a huge amount of money to one of best buddies. i learned my lesson since then.

just say no if you are not comfortable in lending him money. or bigyan mo sya ng amount na pag hindi ka binayaran, hindi masakit sa loob

[jick.cejoco]

send him to the bank or to the pawnshop. at least that's what they do. lending money to somebody is considered a business transaction and should be based on the willingness and the capacity to repay. that's why banks need collateral just in case the borrower defaults payment

[jut703]

Ako if it's the first time, tapos hindi naman significant amount, I always give. Kung hindi bumalik, it's not a very big loss.

At least the second time he tries to ask me money I have a very good reason to say no.

Now, if ayaw mo talaga siya pahiramin because you're fairly sure he won't pay you back, you can always say na hindi ka nagpapahiram sa taong hindi tumutupad sa usapan, and then cite your BFF's case.


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[Lew_Alcindor]

If it is a small amount for you and that is the first time your friend will borrow money, I suggest to give it a chance.
Maybe it is an opportunity to know what is happening with her/him.

Be ready to charge it to experience though.

I am personally does not lend money to friends that easily simply because I know some of them borrow money for unnecessary things. And I do not have a lot of spare money to lend in the first place hahaha

[_Cathy_]

Is this the 1st time he will borrow from you? For me kasi kung 1st time i usually lend some basta small amount lang, being clear kung kelan nila ibabalik. Just think of it as a way to help someone in need (if he really is in need), which is a lot better than being in their shoes. If he doesn't pay up, then its a lesson learned. May karma naman yan.

But if you don't feel giving anything to him due to his track record, then just don't.

Yes I was surprised nga he asked to borrow. I am only hesitant because of his record with my BFF.

Ako if it's the first time, tapos hindi naman significant amount, I always give. Kung hindi bumalik, it's not a very big loss.

At least the second time he tries to ask me money I have a very good reason to say no.

Now, if ayaw mo talaga siya pahiramin because you're fairly sure he won't pay you back, you can always say na hindi ka nagpapahiram sa taong hindi tumutupad sa usapan, and then cite your BFF's case.


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I can't cite my BFFs case because she kept it to herself for a long time. She only opened up when I talked to her about why the lifestyle of our friend suddenly changed as if he is having money problems.

I offered him half but it seems like he does not want it anymore. Now I feel guilty because it is a small amount lang Ang pangit lang kasi ng "utang". He did not tell me what it was for and when he will pay me back. I am surprised at how some people have no form of emergency funds/savings at all

[monty_GTV]

as you said it's a very small amount of money naman so i think you can give him. kapag hindi nabayaran then "tulong" mo na lang. the second time he ask then you have to think twice na.