How do you deal with friends borrowing money?

[_Cathy_]

A friend/old colleague sent me a message if he could borrow money from me. It's a very small amount but the problem is I know that he also borrowed money from my office BFF/direct boss and he hasn't paid her since. He also borrowed from her books worth P2k+ that he has not returned. My office bff is too nice and polite that I had to ask him to return the books but no reply! Knowing his history, I DO NOT want to lend him money. I cannot make excuses that I don't have money since it is small but I am not giving away money for reasons I do not know. Now my office BFF and I are having a headache on what excuse to make!

I don't this to affect our friendship because he is a nice guy and he used to treat me out a lot. I think something happened in his life that he refuses to talk about because my office BFF and I noticed his change in lifestyle. He is not anymore the galante guy that we used to know. He even gave up his postpaid number!

I don't mind lending money to friends in fact I see it as a sign of deep friendship once money comes in na. Several years ago my close friend and I were at the mall and she saw an item that she really wanted that was on sale only until the next day. It had a discount for cash purchase. The problem was it was a Saturday and the max withdrawal of her ATM for 2 days does not cover the amount so I offered to lend her money. She paid me the full amount on Monday night (banking day). Among my close friends we don't mind lending each other huge amounts because it's just a matter of convenience or not having access to money. Pero if you don't know when the payment is parang ang hirap.

Should I just give the money and think of it as "tulong"?

[_Qwerty_]

simple.. don't.

[Altis6453]

It's always tough when it comes to money and friends.

I lent a good friend some money a while back because his wife was about to give birth and he never paid me back. I just shrugged it off kasi maliit lang naman and considered it my form of "tithing". I guess I just managed my expectations of him.

[garfield_08]

Is this the 1st time he will borrow from you? For me kasi kung 1st time i usually lend some basta small amount lang, being clear kung kelan nila ibabalik. Just think of it as a way to help someone in need (if he really is in need), which is a lot better than being in their shoes. If he doesn't pay up, then its a lesson learned. May karma naman yan.

But if you don't feel giving anything to him due to his track record, then just don't.

[ZENMasterTYL]

napaso na ako dati when i lent a huge amount of money to one of best buddies. i learned my lesson since then.

just say no if you are not comfortable in lending him money. or bigyan mo sya ng amount na pag hindi ka binayaran, hindi masakit sa loob

[jick.cejoco]

send him to the bank or to the pawnshop. at least that's what they do. lending money to somebody is considered a business transaction and should be based on the willingness and the capacity to repay. that's why banks need collateral just in case the borrower defaults payment

[jut703]

Ako if it's the first time, tapos hindi naman significant amount, I always give. Kung hindi bumalik, it's not a very big loss.

At least the second time he tries to ask me money I have a very good reason to say no.

Now, if ayaw mo talaga siya pahiramin because you're fairly sure he won't pay you back, you can always say na hindi ka nagpapahiram sa taong hindi tumutupad sa usapan, and then cite your BFF's case.


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[Lew_Alcindor]

If it is a small amount for you and that is the first time your friend will borrow money, I suggest to give it a chance.
Maybe it is an opportunity to know what is happening with her/him.

Be ready to charge it to experience though.

I am personally does not lend money to friends that easily simply because I know some of them borrow money for unnecessary things. And I do not have a lot of spare money to lend in the first place hahaha

[_Cathy_]

Is this the 1st time he will borrow from you? For me kasi kung 1st time i usually lend some basta small amount lang, being clear kung kelan nila ibabalik. Just think of it as a way to help someone in need (if he really is in need), which is a lot better than being in their shoes. If he doesn't pay up, then its a lesson learned. May karma naman yan.

But if you don't feel giving anything to him due to his track record, then just don't.

Yes I was surprised nga he asked to borrow. I am only hesitant because of his record with my BFF.

Ako if it's the first time, tapos hindi naman significant amount, I always give. Kung hindi bumalik, it's not a very big loss.

At least the second time he tries to ask me money I have a very good reason to say no.

Now, if ayaw mo talaga siya pahiramin because you're fairly sure he won't pay you back, you can always say na hindi ka nagpapahiram sa taong hindi tumutupad sa usapan, and then cite your BFF's case.


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I can't cite my BFFs case because she kept it to herself for a long time. She only opened up when I talked to her about why the lifestyle of our friend suddenly changed as if he is having money problems.

I offered him half but it seems like he does not want it anymore. Now I feel guilty because it is a small amount lang Ang pangit lang kasi ng "utang". He did not tell me what it was for and when he will pay me back. I am surprised at how some people have no form of emergency funds/savings at all

[monty_GTV]

as you said it's a very small amount of money naman so i think you can give him. kapag hindi nabayaran then "tulong" mo na lang. the second time he ask then you have to think twice na.

[rollyic]

pag ganyan, normally what i do is...
lets say 1k ang hinihiram at ang dahilan nya is somehow very important pero notorious sa hindi pagbabayad ng utang. binibigyan ko na lang ng 300-400 tapos sasabhin ko yun lang ang pera ko ngayon.
in that way, may chance na hindi na sya makakaulit kasi hindi nya napapabyaran yung una kong binigay. plus pwede kong isipin na maliit na amount lang ang nakuha sakin at tulong ko na lang sa kanya yun kung ano mang problema ang kinakaharap nya.

[_Cathy_]

If it is a small amount for you and that is the first time your friend will borrow money, I suggest to give it a chance.
Maybe it is an opportunity to know what is happening with her/him.

Be ready to charge it to experience though.

I am personally does not lend money to friends that easily simply because I know some of them borrow money for unnecessary things. And I do not have a lot of spare money to lend in the first place hahaha

It's just P2k. I offered him P1k but he did not reply to that anymore. I just told him I used all my cash this weekend and I have less than P2k in my wallet. So he said he will just get the 2k tomorrow so I told him I spent all my sweldo already. I think he does not believe me. Na guilty tuloy ako, dapat ata I should have just lent him the P2k pero almost certain ako wala ng bayaran yun. And I am having a hard time with money since this year I started paying for my gas

[yebo]

it is always very hard to lend money especially if there is no definite time of repayment. nangyari na din sa akin yan, they (living in partners) came to me to borrow a substantial amount but i told them i could not lend them the full amount since i have also my own obligations. i told them i could lend half of it so ok naman pwede na daw. eto hangang ngayon, 7 years later and hiwalay na sila kahit isang sinkong duling wala pa naibayad. i see the guy sometimes. wala lang, parang wala na talaga balak magbayad, para bang ang feeling nya since hiwalay na sila e wala na din yung utang nya. e siya yung friend ko, kaya ko pinautang dahil siya ang nagsabi. akala nya siguro i forgot about it already since one of our mutual friends also borrowed money and i forgave the debt. but that was a different story since the guy had leukemia and i even gave more for his medicines. akala nya siguro same din ang case nya na i-forgive ko yung utang. wala naman siyang sakit e. nakakainis pa panay post sa FB na kung saan nakarating, saan kumain, ano binili. siguro kung pipilitin nya in 2 months kaya nya bayaran yung 20k na utang nya ano.

kung small amount at kaya mong kalimutan sige, for the friendship na lang. pag malaki ibang usapan na yun.

[shadow]

2k lang naman pala eh, just give the money and get over with it.




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[Ry_Tower]

Ako if it's the first time, tapos hindi naman significant amount, I always give. Kung hindi bumalik, it's not a very big loss.

At least the second time he tries to ask me money I have a very good reason to say no.

Now, if ayaw mo talaga siya pahiramin because you're fairly sure he won't pay you back, you can always say na hindi ka nagpapahiram sa taong hindi tumutupad sa usapan, and then cite your BFF's case.


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Same here. Basta once lang, kapag hindi pa nakakabayad, siyempre hindi makakaulit.

Pero yung close friends ko na alam ko eh mahirap lang talaga katayuan ngaun, basta hindi more than P2K okay lang kahit more than once. Alam mo naman yan kasi na kelangan na kelangan lang at kapos talaga.

Pero yung ganyang hindi mo alam paggagamitan, huwag na lang.

[_Cathy_]

2k lang naman pala eh, just give the money and get over with it.




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Yeah. At least if he does not pay he wont borrow again. Mas kawawa naman bff ko almost 4k in total ang "utang" sa kanya

[holdencaulfield]

2k lang naman pala eh, just give the money and get over with it.




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shadow, pahingi ako ng 2k lang. ibibili ko lang ng ulam ngayong gabi. paki bilisan ah?



yung kaopisina ko noon pag hiniraman mo kunwari 30pesos lang lalakasan nun yung boses niya

sasabihin "30,000?!!! WAG MO DALHIN DITO SA OPISINA YUNG MGA ILIGAL NA GAWAIN MO! MAAWA KA SA ANAK MO PRE!"


kaya walang nagtatangkang mangutang sa kup*l na yun kahit singkong duling.

[ess]

I've this friend at the office who habitually borrows 5k from me. He has been doing this for the past 5 years. It was only recently that I discovered that he also habitually borrows 5k from 3 other office mates. Halos 20k regularly ang inuutang.

[_Cathy_]

I can't fathom how some people allow themselves to lose money to the point of borrowing small amounts from friends. Exception lang yung emergency (medical or disaster). Sa family muna ako mangungutang These are the times I miss my Lola (maternal). Pag umutang ako she gives more than I ask for but I don't accept the extra.

[_Qwerty_]

usually yang mga desperate mangutang.. eh malaki utang sa credit card and they have duedate to pay.. or.. may bisyo.. nagsusugal..