The Great Dilemma of Pinoys Abroad

[mbeige]

[QUOTE=bongliza;620988]

dilemna nga yung kwento ng pinay sa korea.

but i wonder, hindi kaya yung attitude ng ibang mga breadwinners, eh, they encourage their family members to depend on them? alam ko medyo malabo pero, i know a few people who felt this NEED for being NEEDED. they will not admit it. they will deny it. but the thing is they derive a certain satisfaction when someone totally depends on them. kunyari nagagalit pero bumibigay din. it makes them feel important. it gives them a purpose. they need these dependents just as much as they need him or her. they look at this dependecy as the meaning of their life. so although it's rare, sometimes me kasalanan din yung breadwinners.QUOTE]

mahirap man aminin.... but sometimes it's true

I guess it's natural for you to feel happy when somebody depends on you dahil in a sense, you're providing for somebody and being responsible for him/her. That is actually a good thing, happiness from responsibility. An average Pinoy would probably say, "Responsibilidad nanaman? Ayoko nyan!!"

While those who have that responsibility feel happy when helping others, I think it's important for them to also moderate or regulate what they give. Spoiling somebody is not responsibility, because the growth of the person is not allowed to take its own path. You're basically spoon feeding the person, which, like many said, leads to dependency.

I think the breadwinners should keep doing it, but in addition, they should also teach those they're responsible for (dependents) to earn what they give.

[empy]

i still think that 'breadwinners' must follow the philosophy of teaching a man to fish instead of serving him the fish.

money to help a motivated relative finish college? sure. help finding a well-paying job? you bet. a well-written reference or phone call? anytime.

but money to pay the rent or buy beer, este, groceries? forget it. neither am kicking in for clothes, vacations, cars, or what have you.

money to pay for a trip to Air Force One? sige, pero sama ako :naughty2:

[enteng]

Sa totoo lang ive been working na po sa Barko for ilang years na rin at madalas yan ang iniisip ko lalo na nga ngayon na ang dating ko sa atin ay Dec.ngayon pa nga lang di ko na alam ang gagawin ko kasi matagal na rin akong di nakakapag pasko sa atin pero bahala na nakakahiya man isipin marami pa rin sa atin ang ganyan talaga ang takbo ng mga isipan.

[Fast Eddie]

[QUOTE]=mbeige;621224]

While those who have that responsibility feel happy when helping others, I think it's important for them to also moderate or regulate what they give. Spoiling somebody is not responsibility, because the growth of the person is not allowed to take its own path. You're basically spoon feeding the person, which, like many said, leads to dependency.

siguro kapag ang mga sinosoportahan ng tatay/nanay ay maliit na
bata pa lang. okey lang na suportahan mo sila. o kaya pinapaaral
mo sila sa kolehiyo.

pero pag tapos na ung pinapaaral nila at tapos di nagtatrabaho at,
himihingi lang ng suporta pang araw-araw sa breadwinner ng pamilya (ama/ina).
syempre di na tama yun. para na lang pensionado ang tao
mula sa tatay/nanay. di nga sila matututo na tumayo sa sarili nilang
mga paa, kung nanghihingi lang ng suporta mula sa ama/ina. siyempre
ung bread winner kailangan din nilang mag-ipon para meron silang konting pang retirement.

=M54 Powered;621475]
i still think that 'breadwinners' must follow the philosophy of teaching
a man to fish instead of serving him the fish.~ ><(((((*>

ito ang dapat sa mga nagpapasuporta sa mga pamilya or relatives.
sabi nga nila eh: "GIVE A MAN FISH FOR A DAY, AND HE WILL EAT FOR
A DAY; TEACH A MAN HOW TO FISH AND HE WILL EAT EVERY DAY".
><(((((*>

sure:kung gusto nila magkaroon ng small livelihood, or a little biznes,
siguro matulung mo pa kung kapatid mo sya (dapat sosyo dito) why
you ask: kci kapag nagkaroon sya ng biznes at ikaw ang
nagpundar tapos yamaman sya.
syempre mas masarap ang buhay nya kesa sa iyo kung nasa abroad
ka at nagpapakahirap kang mag trabaho para sa kanyang capital di ba?
pero pag relatives medyo think twice ka sa kanila di bah? baka, bandang
huli nga naman eh, uunahan kapa-palang yumaman kesa sa yo.
kanya-kanyang kayod yan.

but money to pay the rent or buy beer, este, groceries? forget it. neither
am kicking in for clothes, vacations, cars, or what have you.~

THIS IS NO-NO, dapat sabihin sa kanila, na magpalit kayo ng posisyon, sila ang magtrabaho
at ikaw ang uuwi sa pilipinas para hintayin mo ung sustento mo galing
sa kanila. tingnan ko lang kung masusustentuhan ka nila ka da
buwan.

[Elroi]

nature na kasi nating mga pinoy na tumulong sa kapamilya. di naman masama tumulong pero dapat may limit din kasi namimihasa naman yung iba..

[CVT]

nature na kasi nating mga pinoy na tumulong sa kapamilya. di naman masama tumulong pero dapat may limit din kasi namimihasa naman yung iba..

Agree

Did this once, years back and I sure am happy I did it that way.
In my case, it wasn't the family. Rather, they were the people around you who have the guts to ask... hehehe.... sorry na lang sila...

[GasJunkie]

[QUOTE=Fast Eddie;621559]

=mbeige;621224]


ito ang dapat sa mga nagpapasuporta sa mga pamilya or relatives.
sabi nga nila eh: "GIVE A MAN FISH FOR A DAY, AND HE WILL EAT FOR
A DAY; TEACH A MAN HOW TO FISH AND HE WILL EAT EVERY DAY".
><(((((*>

sure:kung gusto nila magkaroon ng small livelihood, or a little biznes,
siguro matulung mo pa kung kapatid mo sya (dapat sosyo dito) why
you ask: kci kapag nagkaroon sya ng biznes at ikaw ang
nagpundar tapos yamaman sya.
syempre mas masarap ang buhay nya kesa sa iyo kung nasa abroad
ka at nagpapakahirap kang mag trabaho para sa kanyang capital di ba?
pero pag relatives medyo think twice ka sa kanila di bah? baka, bandang
huli nga naman eh, uunahan kapa-palang yumaman kesa sa yo.
kanya-kanyang kayod yan.

Basically what you're saying is if you don't get rich (or should be the first one to get rich) no one in your family should get rich too, am I right?





:fly:

[GasJunkie]

Agree

Did this once, years back and I sure am happy I did it that way.
In my case, it wasn't the family. Rather, they were the people around you who have the guts to ask... hehehe.... sorry na lang sila...

So you stopped helping altogether?





:fly:

[architect]

*architect

i just meant that while you affirm and truly believe the importance, value and impact of the scholarship program to the lives of your applicants, at the same time however, you reject those who are initially well qualified (because they turn out to be not selfish enough or adequately supported). this i just fail to reconcile.

i also would think that there could be some measure of fulfillment to the one imparting the skills if these applicants/scholars end up working in abroad using the same skills they have learned, maybe even regardless of how they decide to spend their hard earned money. my opinion only.

*tsupermario

The harsh reality is that we do not have unlimited resources (unlike the nearly unlimited resources of say, John Gokongwei) to help others. As such, we have to optimize the results of our program by choosing wisely the select few who we think stand to gain the most.

Believe me, you can never get used to the look of despair in the eyes of those who try to so hard to get into our program but whom we reject for various reasons. Personally, if we do not have to reject anyone, I won't.

And yes, we do feel fulfilled whenever one of our scholars continue on to become successful. After all, that is the objective of our program. We do not ask of anything from our scholars except for one thing. If chosen to teach that they at least teach part-time for at least one course.

Regards.

[architect]

Masama lang ang selection process ni sir architect kung di napupuno ang mga slot. Am pretty sure sa ganyang free education e madali lang mapuno, so... why not give better qualified people the chance?

Sa mga less qualified... marami naman me kilala mga masasayang chronic japayuki... o no problem diba?

*flagg

I never said we don't fill up our slots. In fact, every year, we are over subscribed for our 12-Saturday courses. We always initially allocate a total of 100 slots for our courses but usually end up with over 300 students and additional sessions.

From the top graduates of the various courses, we hand-pick fifteen to twenty to continue on for more intense hands-on sessions and actual project assignments.

As I indicated in my response to tsupermario, it is more a question of having enough resources to support more students. Also, basically our students come from the Interact clubs of the four public schools we support (Garcia, Roxas, Marcos, Villamor in the Paco-Pandacan area), our Rotaract Club in PWU, and those invited by our Rotarians. So it is not as if our program is open to all.

Regards.