only in the philippines!

[mk]

hi ! got this from email! read...

* Nakasulat sa pader sa kanto ng Retiro St
"MARUNONG KA BANG TUMAHOL? ASO LANG ANG UMIIHI DITO!"


* along a highway in Pampanga
"WE MAKE MODERN ANTIQUE FURNITURE"


* in a Baguio grocery
"FRESH FROZEN CHICKEN SOLD HERE"


* in Cubao
"NONE ID NOTHING ENTRY"

* on a parking lot in NAIA
"TAXI AND OUTSIDE CAR NOT ALLOWED"

* along Luneta Boulevard
"BAWAL TUMAE SA BULEVARD"

* on Jeepney and Bus signs sa Baclaran
"BEFORE PAY, TELL WHERE GET THE ON BEFORE GET THE OFF"

* on a Flower shop in Rizal Avenue
"WE SELL ARTIFICIAL FRESH FLOWERS"

* on a delivery truck we use to see when we're still kids
"NOT FOR HERE"

* on window of a restaurant in Baguio
"WANTED BOY WAITRESS"

* A grafitti inside the cubicle of a ladies' C.R. in a university
"PLEASE DON'T SIT LIKE A FROG, SIT LIKE A QUEEN."

* At a men's comfort room, above a urinal
"HAWAK MO ANG KINABUKASAN NG BAYAN"

* at a construction site in Mandaluyong
"BAWAL OMEHI DITO. ANG MAHOLI BOG-BOG"

* somewhere along San Andres
"NO URINATING, ON THE OVER WALLS"

* vacant lot near makati ave.
"DON'T PARKING"

* at an eatery in Cebu
"WE HAB SOPDRINK IN CAN AND IN BATOL!

and this is the best of them all!!

* on a building somewhere in the Philippines...
"NOTARY PUBLIC TUMATANGGAP DIN NG LABADA KUNG LINGGO"

[ephraim]

eto din, onli in da pilipins.. :mrgreen:

>If you are ever in the need to drive on the streets of
>Manila the following rules may help you get to your
>destination in one piece.
>
>THE FILIPINO DRIVER GREETING:
>
>When greeting a Filipino driver, slowly lower your
>window and be prepared to greet the driver with, 'Tang
>'namo, bobo!" However, if you have been already
>addressed by a fellow driver, reply with a joyful,
>"'Tang'namo rin, *#%$!"
>
>ON TURN SIGNALS:
>If a driver in another lane turns on the turn signal,
>do not let him go into your lane. In fact, press the
>accelerator and start driving right next to him/her.
>The fellow driver will probably greet you and you
>already know what to do.
>
>ON TRAFFIC LIGHTS:
>These amusing artifacts hang from intersections for no
>apparent reason. Sometimes you will see drivers stop
>to see the colors change on these lights (a
>fascinating experience). Government officials
>(specifically police) believe that each color stands
>observation I have determined the following
>instructions for each color:
>
>Yellow light - accelerate your car as much as you can.
>Red light - this light gives permission to the next
>five to six cars to go through.
>Green light - reduce speed and wait for the five to
>six cars passing through their respective red lights.
>Little-known-fact: Time to start honking your horn, as
>soon as the light turns green = 1.5 seconds.
>
>ON CHANGING LANES:
>Changing lanes has been elevated to an art form in the
>Philippines. First of all, no matter what you do,
>never ever turn on your turn signal, otherwise you'll
>stimulate the reaction described above. Second, swerve
>your car uncontrollably to the lane you want to
>hange, preferably if you end up within inches of a
>car in that lane. At this point a greeting from
>theother driver may be in order. To perfect your
>change of lanes, reduce the speed of your car
>dramatically in a matter of seconds and you will see
>an action-packed reaction from the car behind you.
>
>ON TRAFFIC JAMS:
>Traffic Jams are teeming with fun filled activities
>such as:
>1. Honking your horn rhythmically.
>2. Putting on make-up (usually female drivers only).
>3. Nose-pickers sightseeing (not to be confused with
>people who scratch their brains through their nose).
>4. Reducing speed to watch whatever is causing the
>traffic jam. Add excitement by trying to see if you
>know the parties involved.
>(Note: Every Filipino driver is obliged to dothis.)
>5. Losing weight by sweating like a pig as a result of
>a lack of air conditioning.
>6. Greeting other drivers.
>7. Practicing lane changing.
>8. Playing the game: Let's see how close I can get to
>you before rear- ending you.
>
>ON PEDESTRIANS:
>These individuals are an annoyance to the Filipino
>driver. If you see pedestrians in your way,
>accelerate your car to let them know who's the boss.If
>you are at an intersection, let the pedestrians know
>you want to proceed by accelerating your car and
>honking at the last possible moment.
>
>ON SOCIAL SITUATIONS:
>Bumping into a friend while driving (not to be
>takenliterally) is a joyful occasion. Drivers should
>reduce speed and stop their cars in the middle of the
>street and chit chat. What about other drivers? Well,
>they can wait.
>
>Bottleneck Formation - To accomplish this type of
>driving, cars must block all lanes by driving at the
>same speed and side by side (to avoid other cars to
>pass). It is important to drive at a speed at least 20
>mph below the speed limit.
>The Three-Lane-Change - This movement requires a lotof
>precision and creativity. It should be done around the
>highest number of cars possible and in a matter of
>seconds to create what others may refer to as
>widespread panic.
>
>HERE'S ANOTHER RULE FOR DRIVING IN THE PHILIPPINES.
>When the lanes going in your direction are jammed with
>cars, try using the lanes from the oncoming traffic.
>They are probably not occupied anyway because the
>oncoming cars are stuck as well. How many of the other
>direction's lanes should you occupy? As long as there
>are lanes from the other direction to occupy, go ahead
>and take more lanes. This move is sure to elicit
>previously mentioned greetings from drivers of the
>oncoming cars (and some have been known to get down
>from their cars to personally deliver the greeting to
>the out of lane driver). 9 out of 10 times it's sure
>to make the traffic worse but then, hey, there's that
>1 in 10 chance that you might actually get through
>sooner than all those law-abiding losers. Filipino
>drivers think that 1 in 10 chance is reason enough to
>risk their life and limb and being profusely greeted
>(besides, you can always turn up the windows and
>pretend that you don't hear the greeting from the
>other drivers).

[Dieseler]

I've seen some signs such as:

"Bawal umihi dito Huli putol t*ti"

"Aso lang ang umiihi dito"

"God knows Judas no pay, kaya barya lang po sa umaga"

:lol:

[prinsipe]

sa likod ng truck: KUNG NABABASA MO 'TO PAG UMUTOT AKO MAAAMOY MO. :D

[empy]

Ahahahaha :lol:

Nung umuwi ako sa atin nung '99, I happened to see this sign near Greenhills:

"DONUT (do not) PARKING HERE"

Too bad I wasn't driving my Bavarian Creme that day :mrgreen:

[vhenok]

:mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:

[estong_bulutong]

* in Cubao:
"NONE ID NOTHING ENTRY"

MALUPEEEEEEEETTTTT!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[kupaloids]

Dito sa Saudi:
"UNOTHERIZED VEHICLE NO ENTRY"

[jaspi11]

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: :lol::lol:

[BlackMagic]

Dont forget the ever popular: "Dont get closed to me, get closed to GOD"

[jun]

on highways kapag traffic:

basta may ambulance susunod na ung mga iba para iwas trapik..............................

[juno]

a sign at the back of a livestock hauler/truck :

"BABoY ON BOARD"

(with fonts and matching drawing ng baboy silhouette na gayang gaya yung signage na "baby on board" heheheh)

[ch0k0y]

Sa tricycle ko nakita.

For Official Use Also.


wala lang..............[/b]

[kupaloids]

Sa mga mud flaps ng mga jeep:

Left Mud flap Right Mud flap

<-----Suicide Safe Side----->

[vhenok]

Yung sa rear flaps ng mga jeep na matching swaying pa....

"PURO KAYO KATAS! PWE!!!"

Serves them right!:lol:

[ephraim]

isang sign:

"WILDING"

sa isang resibo:

"TWO HULLS"(2 butas sa gulong)
:mrgreen:

[happiman]

inside a toilet in Caloocan City bar, written in front of urinal:

COME CLOSER, IT'S SHORTER THAN YOU THINK! :mrgreen:



:D:D:D