Having a Baby Before Marriage! Still a Big Deal?

[juntzo]

My gf of 5 years and I have been living together for almost a year now. Today she missed her period and she thinks she is pregnant. For me it's a wonderful thing! But for her, she has some apprehensions that some of her relatives will not approve!

I will marry her anytime of course. No problem. But what annoys me is that thing about what others will think of us having a baby before getting married. We are both professionals and have good jobs that pays well. We are also very much of legal age!

Here in the Philippines, is it still a big deal to have a baby before getting married? What do you think?

[shadow]

pare naman...tell your GF ano pa bang apprehension niya sa sasbihin ng mga relatives niya eh 5 yrs na kayo nag live in.....

I think it's a not an issue....it's kinda expected if you asked me....living in for 5 yrs...kung hinde nabuntis baka doon pa ako magtaka...

[juntzo]

pare naman...tell your GF ano pa bang apprehension niya sa sasbihin ng mga relatives niya eh 5 yrs na kayo nag live in.....

I think it's a not an issue....it's kinda expected if you asked me....living in for 5 yrs...kung hinde nabuntis baka doon pa ako magtaka...

living together for 1 year pa lang! most of her relatives in the province does not know about it! clear ko lang. probinsiyana eh!

[GlennSter]

depends on what society you belong too.

gaya nga ng sabi mo.probinsyanas are most probably expected to be more maria-clara parin. mas conservative parin kahit papaano.

[shadow]

:oops: sorry, hinde ko nabasang mabuti...to hell with them buhay niyo naman yan eh,

well, since you said you will marry her in a heartbeat, then why don't you do it now? so no need for you to think what others will say...

[mazdamazda]

IMO - it's still a big deal here in the Philippines especially in the rural areas. Well, you can't blame her relatives for thinking like that if that is their culture (I'm hoping that you also considered that before you did "it").

If you can't stand the disapproving relatives or gossip flying around - then just keep your pants up until you get married.

[the_wildthing]

Personally, I think it is a big deal. But that is just me.

Having said that, please understand I am not imposing this on you nor anyone. And you should not let anyone impose values on you. What others think do not matter when it comes to things like this. You have to ask yourself what do YOU value, personally? Does it matter to you? Is it a big deal to you? If it isn't, then tapos ang usapan.

The other thing is, dapat magkasundo kayo ng values.

[empy]

not a big deal for me. but i echo the sentiment that i'm not about to impose my view on others.

if it's very important to you what other people think, then marry her. because it's inevitable that some people will disapprove. if you really don't care, then marry her when you are ready.

[boydapa]

haay naku hwag ka magpapaniwala at pauuto sa mga relatives nyan. gaya ng sabi nila buhay nyo yan. pagnagpadala ka sa mga gzto nyan kakayan kayanin ka lng ng mga yan! kng may tiwala ka sa sarili mo at sa mga desisyon mo hwag mo na intindihin yon para looking back yrs from now di ka magsisisi sa mga ginawa mo. ipakita mo ang iyong angas parang yan subaru pag galit na galit walang inuurungan. haay naku maniwala ka galing me dyan kaya eto i deserve this

[FrankDrebin]

Deadma lang yaan. Take it from me.

[Syuryuken]

Hindi na kayo bata alam nyo ng ginagawa nyo, ikaw na rin nagsabing nasa tamang edad na kayo.

[wildthing]

ang dami kong alam na matagal ng mag-asawa hindi "makagawa ng bata", you should feel blessed you don't have that same problem.

simplify your life, get a civil wedding muna. Mag-leak man na buntis gf/wife mo eh...sabihin mo lang na you already got married na.

[empy]

nalilito ako kasi magkalapit ang posts ni the_wildthing at ni wildthing :hihihi:

[Memphis Raines]

Juntzo my man, Congratulations!

"Pre-Marital Baby" acceptance will depend on the family mindset but believe me, if ever it becomes a big thing for them, IT WILL ONLY BE TEMPORARY . Don't ever let them break you both down with their lectures about what is right or wrong; the most important thing is the both of you guys will go through this together, no matter what.

Mark my words. When the baby comes out, lahat yan matutunaw and baka mag-agawan pa yan to give the angel their love .

Having a baby is not a curse but a blessing that not everyone, even the married ones, can have.

[Syuryuken]

nalilito ako kasi magkalapit ang posts ni the_wildthing at ni wildthing :hihihi:

honga no

:naughty2:

[juntzo]

Thanks everybody!

[shadow]

Thanks everybody!

so...??? magpapakasal na kayo? hehehehe

[Geren]

Call me conservative, old timer whatever. I'm against having a baby before marriage for the following reasons.

1. I don't want it to happen to my daughter nor will i tolerate my son.

2. I value the sanctity of marriage. (old timer talaga). For me if a girl is worth carrying my child or our child, she's worth marrying before having a baby.

3. I have a pamangkin who has a little girl out of wedlock. The little girl is now 4 yrs. old and is questioning her mom why she doesn't have a middle name. (The mother named the child after her because my pamangkin did not marry her.)

What others may say or even relatives may say should not be the reason for getting married. The only reason that matters is that you both love each other and you are willing to take that sacred vow to love each other till death do you part (Matanda na talaga ako ). If you are not ready to make that commitment then don't get married.

[shadow]

haay naku hwag ka magpapaniwala at pauuto sa mga relatives nyan. gaya ng sabi nila buhay nyo yan. pagnagpadala ka sa mga gzto nyan kakayan kayanin ka lng ng mga yan! kng may tiwala ka sa sarili mo at sa mga desisyon mo hwag mo na intindihin yon para looking back yrs from now di ka magsisisi sa mga ginawa mo. ipakita mo ang iyong angas parang yan subaru pag galit na galit walang inuurungan. haay naku maniwala ka galing me dyan kaya eto i deserve this

ano daw!?!? :faint:

[juntzo]

Actually we have plans to get married by May next year. But now i think she will have second thoughts of wearing a wedding gown with a big tummy!
Anyway we still have to talk about it more!