[Split:] When is the right time to get married?

[yebo]

Originally posted by BlueBimmer
hehe yan ang primary problem ko...last question nlang mga pre..para sa mga may asawa na, san ka naging mas masaya, nung binata ka o may asawa ka na?

dami ko lng kasi nakikita na married couple na parang nagsawaan na..kaya di ako cgurado to get married.

i got married when i was 38, so pwede ko sabihin sa iyo na nagawa ko lahat ng gusto kong gawin na binata pa ako. but i will also tell you, that pag dating mo dun sa stage na nagsasawa ka na sa pagka-binata, it's lonely. you begin to ask questions like "where is all these leading to...". in other words, you will reach the point where you will ask yourself why you did not get married when you were younger and had the chance!

lucky for me when i already made the decision to "grow old and dirty" (and i was dirty!), someone came along and made me "good" again. now i do not even long for those days that i can do whatever i want, come home as late as i want, be as bad ass as i want, etc. all i see now in my future are my wife and kids (2 girls, 1 adopted, 1 biological, both equally loved). maybe you see in some of my posts here that i joke about playing around, but that is just that - jokes i tell myself and share with you on this board. because that was what my life was before when i was still single - all fun, sometimes meaningful, but more often lived just for the heck of it. nowadays i just make fun of my memories, but i do not long for them to happen again. i have something more precious than wine, women and songs. and that is my family.

so if you're having doubts that maybe when you get married you will still want the days when you were single to be back, why not? BUT make sure you have a partner who would also want to live it, AND ONLY WITH HER AND NO ONE ELSE. the biggest requirement of married life is COMMITMENT. without it all the love in the world can't make it last.

[theveed]

"never having to pay for *** again (teka, hindi naman masama 'to ah)"

Maglalaba ka nga lang at magluluto hehehhehehe

[theveed]

Following to what Yebo said... hehe may hinirit si Chris Rock sa Bigger Badder Blacker skit nya about commitment sa kasal...

This episode is called NEW PU$$Y (I'll call it P). Basically, his line is that men don't settle down, they surrender.

"Every single man has got a choice to make, and you know what the choice is. Commitment, or new P!"

Bottom line, the man chooses Commitment or new P. Commitment can give you a head ache now and then but new P always clear your mind."

"...commitment's gonna take care of you when you're sick. commitment's going to bring you chicken soup...new P can't cook! Is new P gonna' take care of your kids and read to them? New P's illiterate. So you got to turn that old P into new P. That's right you gotta' recycle the P!!!."


- Chris Rock

[NightRock]

pag isipang mabuti yan..naku.. naku... ang hirap....baka di nyo makayanan pag may matinding problema na dumating

[roninblade]

ROFL. nice one dude. kulit talaga ni chris rock.
but most of what he said is right.

my own $0.02 on the topic...

it's not really a question of age. i guess it really depends on the person if he/she is emotionally ready for that sort of commitment. i agree with sir yebo, when you talk of marriage, commited talaga walang likuan kung saan2x at walang palusot. prepare to make fidelity as one of your highest values.

[hens]

Originally posted by theveed

pag binata ka, mas superficial and material ang kaligayahan ko... although never naman ako naging babaero masyado kaya can't comment on that aspect...

Uy! pareho pala tayo...

Hintay natin comment ni Fafa KimpOy..

(parang may ganun topic na rin dati di ba?)
sino nga ba nag-start nung topic na yun???..kumusta na kaya relasyon nila?..hehehe

[yebo]

i was just talking to my british friend and he talked about his married life. he married, got divoced after 14 years, got married again, then after another 14 years he's getting divoced again. he says he now has a new life philosophy:

the 3 F's phylosophy: if it flies, if it floats, or if it f**cks, RENT IT!

he owned a plane before (cesna lang naman), it cost too much money to own, he sold it.

he owned a boat before, it cost too much money to own, he sold it.

he's had 2 wives, they cost him too much money to have, he got divorced.

so now he's just renting, hahahaha!

but don't be like him coz this is one baaaad maderfaker, always goes on 3-somes and 4-somes when he's in town hehehe!

[the_wildthing]

Ito lang po ang masasabi ko: maturity - all aspects. As a person, first. As a couple, maybe second.

How you would know you've achieved it, I don't know. Sorry.

[odell]

28.?. hehehe

[Karding]

Subjective nga ang 'right time to get married.'

I suggest you and your fiancee to go Engaged Retreat. Dito nyo malalaman ang mga differences nyo at yung mga concern nyo na hindi nyo nasasabi sa isat-isa.

I just got back from it, its called Catholic Engaged Encounter. Hindi lang for Catholic, every religion is very much welcome. You'd be surprised na marami pa lang concern ang either one of you which both of you failed to address. It was really easy for my fiancee and myself because there are no issues we have never talked about in the past four years. Sa ibang couple, naging mahirap yung weekend kse hindi sila verbal sa isat-isa. Dito rin first time nalalaman ng couple who would be responsible for what. We know that even before we went to that retreat. The greatest lesson that my fiancee and myself is that a Marriage is a Sacrament. Doon ko lang nalaman ang true meaning ng Sacrament and to include God sa plans namin. Sorry to disappoint you atheist but we are including God to our marriage.

and if we had a disagreement she would never argue with me kaya never kami nagkaroon ng major LQ talaga.

You may see this as a good thing. Pero come to think of it, a person who never argue may have had a bigger concern and afraid that if brought up, the relationship would end. This could also be a sign of lack in communication.

I remember this saying:

'If you never had an argument with your fiancee, you have never been intimate to each other.'

For more info on Engaged Encounter please visit A Wedding is a Day, a Marriage is a Lifetime website.

'Love is not just a feeling, it's a daily decision."

[lexlibris]

From age 18, you can get married according to the Family Code. Any age below that, you can not.

Pero tol, para sa iyo na 25 pa lang, the right time to get married is definitely not at this time. Ang hirap ng buhay. Hindi kita kilala pero malamang, mas may kaya sa iyo si Manny Pangilinan. Kung si Manny Pangilinan nga ayaw magpakasal, ikaw pa.

Tol, kalalaya mo pa lang sa nanay mo, at ngayon papasakop ka na naman sa isang babae. Tol saka ka na mag-asawa.

Tol, you can never tell. More than half of marriages ends up in separation. How sure are you that yours will not be part of that stats? Tol, enjoy your life some more.

At tol, at 25, na-meet mo na ba ang ibat-ibang klase ng babae? Yung matangkad, pandak, maputi, morena, kulot, unat, matangos ang ilong, pango, matalino, payak ang pag-iisip, madasalin, makamundo, mabango, madaling bumaho, mayaman, mahirap, flawless, patay ang kuko. Natanong ko tol kasi segurado kapag nag-asawa ka na these different kind and types of women will cross your life and lead you to temptation. Baka naman you are not looking around at nabubulagan ka sa present girl mo ngayon.

Kaya tol, just dont! Ask again when you're 30.

[kimpOy]

as they say "masarap ang binata araw araw iba iba ang ulam"

pero this i say, "kapag nakaya mong kainin ang iisang ulam araw araw man o minu-minuto then handa ka na mag asawa"

[Karding]

Tol, you can never tell. More than half of marriages ends up in separation. How sure are you that yours will not be part of that stats?

And tol, how sure you na ang mga naghiwalay eh yung mga 25 years of age nakapag asawa? Paki post na lang kung saan mo nakuha ang statistics.

At tol, kailangan ba naranasan nya na ang ibat ibang babae bago nya malaman na sya na nga? May kapatid ka bang babae? Gusto mo ba na ang kapatid mong babae eh isa lang sa mga 'niranasan' ni BlueBimmer? Eh kung ganyan ang pananaw mo sa buhay, wala nang matitirang babae sa mundo na ang karanasan lang eh isang lalaki. I bet you, isa ka sa mga naghahanap ng virgin or matino na housewife material. Paano ka makakahanap nun eh kung gusto mong maranasan ang ibat ibang babae sa mundo?

eh kung pakasalan ako ni Toni Gonzaga ng wazzup wazzup kahit first GF ko sya, hindi ko sya palalampasin eh. Hindi sukatan ng pag aasawa kung ilang na ang natikman mong babae tol. Ang tanging sukatan eh maturity and responsibility.

Saka paano mo nahalintulad si Manny Pangilinan sa sitwasyo nya ngayon? Eh iba naman ang dahilan ni Manny Pangilinan kesa sa kanya. Tol, I bet you Manny Pangilinan is afraid of commitment. And Bluebimmer, apparently, is not. so to compare bluebimmer to Manny, is ignorance.

From age 18, you can get married according to the Family Code. Any age below that, you can not.

wow, ang talino mo tol. alam na alam mo kung ano ang legal age to marry. Pero ang tanong eh hindi about AGE tol, kundi TIME. Thanks for that info pero it didnt help address the question.

cge tol, manonood muna ako ng wazzup wazzup.

[RafRaf]

Are you willing to detache yourself from everything else that you have right now (gimmicks, toys, friends, family, hobbies - yung talagang attached na attached ka ngayon) for her and your future together (kids!)? Are you willing to feel the bonds of commitment tighten up sometimes during your married life (it will feel that way sometimes)? Are you willing to accept her family and friends as your own (you will have to do so mostly)? Are you willing to look beyond your wife-to-be's errs and flaws? Are you willing to impose the same discipline on yourself as you would for your children?
Are you willing to push yourself to the limit of commitment (those moments that feels like you doubt yourself for choosing to get married but resolve to stand firm on your commitment NO MATTER WHAT)? Even to the point that you may physically separate but you will stay true to your commitment to support her/your family (rear your children) and not get involved with someone else.

IT IS ALL ABOUT COMMITMENT BASED ON YOUR UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. Friend, minsan lang dumating ang sobrang hirap sa married life... most of the time it is bliss to see your wife and kids love you so much that it makes you melt in tears. But those few times of trials is so intense that it will break you... and you have to be strong enough to let yourself be broken and rise anew. So the question is are you ready?

Lastly... but just as important... IS SHE READY TO GET MARRIED AND WANTS TO DO SO FOR THE RIGHT REASONS LIKE YOU? Both of you should have the right desire and purpose, kasi isa lang sa inyo ang hindi sure... well good luck... it is going to be a rocky road for both of you.

[Karding]

Now, those questions by RafRaf is way better than lexlibris' for evaluating yourself if you are, indeed, ready.

Yang mga tanong na yan eh masasagot mo kapag nagpunta ka sa Engaged Retreat, make it or break it.

[theveed]

o kaya sumali kayo sa amazing race hehe...

[GlennSter]

for love or money nalang.

si lexilibris favorite show yata ay 5th wheel.

[GlennSter]

Originally posted by Karding

eh kung pakasalan ako ni Toni Gonzaga ng wazzup wazzup kahit first GF ko sya, hindi ko sya palalampasin eh. Hindi sukatan ng pag aasawa kung ilang na ang natikman mong babae tol. Ang tanging sukatan eh maturity and responsibility.

Saka paano mo nahalintulad si Manny Pangilinan sa sitwasyo nya ngayon? Eh iba naman ang dahilan ni Manny Pangilinan kesa sa kanya. Tol, I bet you Manny Pangilinan is afraid of commitment. And Bluebimmer, apparently, is not. so to compare bluebimmer to Manny, is ignorance.

wow, ang talino mo tol. alam na alam mo kung ano ang legal age to marry. Pero ang tanong eh hindi about AGE tol, kundi TIME. Thanks for that info pero it didnt help address the question.

cge tol, manonood muna ako ng wazzup wazzup.

HEF HEF HEF!!!!

BAKIT NASALI ANG GF KO DITO!?!?!?

si manny nalang sayo...ahihihihi...

pusod mo karding!!!umiinit nanaman!!herhehrerer

[mazdamazda]

btw, as a general question...

doesn't maturity (in making this kinds of decisions) also come with age and experience?

i mean, how can a person in his early-20s already comprehend and fathom the decision that he is about to make?

or is it because getting married, especially here in the philippines is sort of a requirement, which dilutes the seriousness of entering into a married life? i can always here filipinos asking, "do you have a gf/bf? are you already married?"

[GlennSter]

for me..maturity can come with different things. heck, i believe maturity comes with knowing how immature one is.

it can come with age, but there are 45 year olds with a "maturity" (err...immaturity) of an 18 year old.

experience for me can be a good factor of maturity...but in this case, i wouldnt suggest that you "try" marrying someone first and be experienced with marriage before marrying the one you really love.