My wife found out about my affair

[ghosthunter]

Time to check your legal options and move on with your life.

[twistedmind]

tanong ko lang is why? bakit nagsawa na wife mo sayo like parang walang nangyaring masasayang mga panahon sa inyong dalawa kahit nung hindi pa kayo kinasal? hindi kaya she's cheating on you too?

No, i don't think she's cheating on me. And sabi nya hindi kasi ako malambing and sweet.

[_Cathy_]

Sheesh. That's so juvenile. You said that she's been neglecting you as well so why does she expect you to be malambing and sweet to her? I think married people should be thinking about their children and not petty issues like that. .

[marga25ph]

Try to work things out kung wala na talaga pag asa seek legal option, sad lng kasi kawawa kids damay sila tapos yng wifey mo sinisiraan kana. Sana kahit maghiwalay kayo ng asawa mo eh mag effort ka lalo to be closer with your kids they need you now more than ever , pray.

[Burai]

i don't believe her answer sir twistedmind
i really feel she's hiding something para maging malaya din siya
if that was the only thing sa side mo na hindi na niya maramdaman edi sana kahit papaano eh gusto ka pa rin niyang kunin pabalik sa buhay niya kasi may natitirang love pa rin yan kung yan lang talaga dahilan pero mukang hindi eh.
ang malambing at sweet medyo may difference sa "true love".

nako medyo sa tingin ko nakakagulo na kami sayo since some say go court her again while others say go get a new life. pero wag ka sanang panghinaan ng loob at balewalain mga sinasabi dito, magaganda both advices ng both sides
ang sakin lang is, do everything you can before you really quit. mas magandang sinubukan mo kesa pagsisihan mong hindi mo sinubukan. it depends na sayo san mo ia-apply yan.
well, anyway, take marga25ph's advice:

Pray...

[Gen. Miting]

It happens to the best of us brah

at least you lost 20 pounds

hahaha natawa ako dito sorry TS. can't help

[Gen. Miting]

Yup, my mother in law takes the kids to the arcade very often and then buys them what they want. And she tells them gusto mo ba sa daddy mo who cannot buy you whatever you want? One time my 9yr old told me they happen to pass by my shop and he told her lola can she go down wo see me, sabi daw ng lola cge gusto mo sumama ka na sa daddy mo walang kwenta, baboy yan. Then as they passing in front of my shop, tinakpan daw ng lola ang mata nya and told him wag ka tumingin baka makita mo yun daddy mo.

.

this is the problem.

your wife got tired of being bombarded with discriminating comments from your rich in-laws. your wife gave in to your in-laws and re-evaluated her life with you. she realized that yun na nga you are the "loser" that your in-laws are portraying you to be. now the question is, who are your wife's closest girl friends? are they as rich or as successful as your rich in-laws. if so, then that wrapped it up.

now your kids are being brainwashed. and it's working bec. your in-laws are buying them things that you cant buy.

so what are you going to do?

sometimes, if you really love the wife and kids and want the blessings of the in-laws. you just have to do what they want. the only way to beat them is not to meet their expectations, but to exceed their expectations.

so wala ka na talaga magagawa kungdi magpayaman. it's hard to swallow, i agree. kasi parang pinipilit ka sa hindi mo gusto and you're now a victim of langit at lupa TV mentality. and the hardest part, is you'll never know when it can happen or if it will happen -> you being rich.

and even if you got as rich as Henry Sy, there is still the stigma of your infidelity.

but i'm sure if you perfected the getting rich part, the solution to the stigma part is as easy as taking a candy from a baby.

[Hanren]

There will be a lot of lessons for both you and your wife.

Just take things one step at a time - tutukan mo muna kung paano mapapalapit sa kids mo (it'd be difficult but workable), in any way possible.

Then once you've established some form of contact, work on your self esteem para makabangon ka ulit.

Then break off that relationship with the other party. You need to focus. You cannot focus on your family if you always have a side trip.

Then once you've redeemed yourself, pwede mo na ligawan muli asawa mo. I don't think you will be in the best position to fix your broken family if you can't first fix your self.

Just don't have high hopes and expectations. Set realistic and small goals. Forumers here at tsikot can only do so much but just keep posting because that's the only way you can lighten up the load you are carrying right now.

Good luck, kaya mo yan!

[twistedmind]

thanks peeps. That's why i thought of posting here to loosen a little. Sa part ng in law ko, yup this is the perfect reason para hiwalayan ako ng wife nya and she will do everything para hindi kami magkabalikan instead of helping us settle our differences. I tried to ask if I can bring the kids out even for just a day this sem break but no response. Yesterday went to my counsellor he told me not to go visit the kids often in school anymore because since my 9 yr old told me to visit him once a week only. and maybe they will wonder and look for me bec. they expect that I'm there everyday.

[vito corleone]

tough luck, bro. . .anyway, it's just temporary, the tide will turn before you know it. . .

if it's clear what results do you want from your present predicament, visualize it. . .concentrate on it and exhaust all your efforts in seeing it through

good luck, bro