My Family's Slave

[jut703]

Anybody read the article yet?

A Story of Slavery in Modern America - The Atlantic

EDIT: Fixed link

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[erdiedizon]

Anybody read the article yet?

https://energy.gov/sites/prod/files/...?itok=2kjNOm2d

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Me TS, what about u? How long did u took to finish reading the article? Its nice one though[emoji24][emoji24]


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[jut703]

Me TS, what about u? How long did u took to finish reading the article? Its nice one though[emoji24][emoji24]


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Read it when I woke up this morning. It was trending by the afternoon with a lot of commentary.

I particularly like how it discusses in the open the whole spectrum of domestic help. Have had some pretty deep discussions with my friends on the complicity of the author. I'm on the stand that while ideally the whole setup should've been reported and rectified earlier on, the reality is that very few people would turn in their parents and willingly face deportation.

I also like how it touches on the reality that domestic help is a critical, yet grossly undervalued, part of one's successful career.

Many people in this forum have maids. They get paid a few thousand pesos a month, but what most people don't see is that their contribution to household chores and child-rearing free up time for the heads of the family to work.

Instead of having to wash dishes, do laundry, cook breakfast, or even watch over the kids, people are free to focus on their professions or their businesses. Yet maids get paid a very small amount compared to the intrinsic value they bring. It's the unfortunate reality that supply far outweighs demand, and that many domestic helpers are okay with meager wages. It's basically capitalism at work - outsourcing your household tasks to someone else to free up time for other ventures.

It was slavery in the 60s, but even today, a diluted version of the story still exists in many households.

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[cast_no_shadow]

Hmmm

Eto lang nakikita ko pag inopen yung link.





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[StockEngine]

link looks suspicious...

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[_Cathy_]

This link

A Story of Slavery in Modern America - The Atlantic

[jut703]

Oops sorry wrong link. 😔 Fixed it.

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[Wh1stl3r]

Browsed through it. Dam ninjas cutting onions 😢

[yebo]

i did this morning. she deserved back pay. if she had only the means to sue them she would have probably bankrupted the whole family. BUT she loved the kids and for some reason the mother. i think, later when she was already living with the author, the $200 per week allowance was not enough. the other children should have given some more.

i remember there was this filipina maid who was maltreated by an american family just 2 or 3 years back (?) who was awarded a big amount by the court.

[jut703]

i did this morning. she deserved back pay. if she had only the means to sue them she would have probably bankrupted the whole family. BUT she loved the kids and for some reason the mother. i think, later when she was already living with the author, the $200 per week allowance was not enough. the other children should have given some more.

i remember there was this filipina maid who was maltreated by an american family just 2 or 3 years back (?) who was awarded a big amount by the court.

I don't think money would've made her happy in her later years. After 5 decades of knowing nothing but the confines of their home, the unending chores, and the herculean task of tending not only to the kids but also to the author's mom, I don't think money could've sufficiently solved the problem.

Lola obviously did not subscribe to the materialistic western way of life. What would've made her happy was to be with her parents before they died. This was acknowledged by the author, though he was helpless altogether.

When she finally got the chance to go home, it was too late, and at that point I'm sure she realized that her life in America as the family's slave was all the life that she had. At the very least, I find consolation in the fact that the author made an effort to let Lola enjoy her life in her later years.

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[yebo]

I don't think money would've made her happy in her later years. .
...

i mean as a means to exact justice. she can give the money away to her relatives, which in fact was what she did with he $200 allowance.

[vinj]

Got to read it a few days ago. It leaves heavy emotions and a lot of questions to ponder on. When you look at it, the story of Lola spans generations where the world has gone through a large cultural change, and the progress in how the next generations of the family treated her also somewhat reflects society in a whole.

She came into life with the Tizons (particularly the mom and the grandfather) within an era where class relations were such (the haciendero and the lowly farmer) and this progressed to a society and age where social awareness increased and becomes more of value. It's hard to blame the mother in one sense that she grew up with that kind of feudal mindset and it is indeed a struggle for her to grasp what the children were trying to imbibe and bring across. The children reflect the struggle to overcome and change, and could only fully do so in later years.

I find some western reactions amusing in a sense that they are aghast on how she was treated but when you run a parallelism to America at the time (1950s to 1960s) they too were in the midst of overcoming cultural barriers (the era of Martin Luther King, the Vietnam war, etc.). Also, looking at the hardships of the farmers in the province, sometimes one too will wonder if perhaps she was indeed better off under her circumstances of ending up caring for the family of the author.

One thing though, i miss having a kasambahay or househelp with that had that kind of devotion to a family. I grew up with such and nowadays they are indeed a rare breed.

[Jun aka Pekto]

I never liked the concept of domestic help, especially the way people looked down on them. If we ever move to the PH, I rather we employ nieces and nephews instead. Put them through college, provide them their own room, allowances, etc. When they graduate, it's the next kid's turn.

Personally, I rather do the menial tasks myself. How else am I going to get better managing things on my own?

I mean, I bellyache about them a lot. But, I'd feel bad having someone else do my work for me. I get guilty vibes.

[jut703]

I never liked the concept of domestic help, especially the way people looked down on them. If we ever move to the PH, I rather we employ nieces and nephews instead. Put them through college, provide them their own room, allowances, etc. When they graduate, it's the next kid's turn.

Personally, I rather do the menial tasks myself. How else am I going to get better managing things on my own?

That's because you grew up in the west. That's the same vantage point that the foreigners reading the article have.

But in the Philippine context, domestic help is almost a given as long as you can afford it. Noone bats an eyelash if you have a maid.

Reality is though, even if you pay them, you still don't treat them as your equals. Just as the author's mother was trained to keep the slaves in their place (normal in 1950s post-feudal Filipino context), Filipinos today also think that it's normal to have someone living in your house but obviously not treated with the same dignity as the rest of your family.

Before this article, I have not encountered anyone bringing up the complicated role of household help in Filipino culture, except during my college philo classes.

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[Jun aka Pekto]

Reality is though, even if you pay them, you still don't treat them as your equals. Just as the author's mother was trained to keep the slaves in their place (normal in 1950s post-feudal Filipino context), Filipinos today also think that it's normal to have someone living in your house but obviously not treated with the same dignity as the rest of your family.

We had a maid during my stay there. So, I'm not a total stranger to it. But, my mom treated her better than some of my own kin. In fact, when the maid had to go to the open market, I had to come along and carry the heavy stuff. She gave the orders then. I carried them out, not thinking twice of who was in charge.

But, I can't imagine treating domestic help that way. To me, they're like guests who just happened to have chores assigned to them. They worked with us, they enjoyed with us.

[kagalingan]

Nabasa ko yan kanina sa pinoyexchange.

Maganda pagkasulat. Prangka.

Kung solo ka sa bahay eh ok lang wala helper.. Pero kung tatlo pataas eh kailangan.

Ang pinakamahirap eh maglinis ng comfort room. Lalo na kung malawak pang studio unit ang laki.

Paglalaba eh naawa ako sa helper at ito chore na ayaw nila....so naisip ko baka apurahin. So washing machine.

Tapos sa bahay lumaki kami suot lagi tsinelas....eh labas pasok bahay nakasapatos. Pati helper bawal magyapak. So kailangan meron mag mop.

[minicarph]

yun okey sa mga katulong ngaun. mga ***y na kasi alam na nila pampaganda

[Monseratto]

Tizon accused of lying about Lola's obituary

Why the obituary for Eudocia Tomas Pulido didn’t tell the story of her life in slavery | The Seattle Times

Obituaries depend on the fundamental honesty of the people who survive to tell the story. Tizon lied to me, and through me, to our readers, depriving Ms. Pulido of the truth of her life, and the rest of us an important piece of our history. And for that I am truly sorry.

[Verbl Kint]

I did not grow up in the West, I am married now and my wife and I choose to live without maids or servants.

I've been fortunate enough in my career to afford household help but I still choose not to.

I wash my clothes, I do the dishes (handwashing as I can't get a decent dishwasher at appliance stores), clean whenever I can, etc. Note that I live in relatively clean apartment and have largely kept the house in decent shape.

Yet it has not stopped me from moving forward in my career, enjoying the fruits of it, and still having time for leisure.

And this is from a guy who grew up with yayas and maids.

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[zoomzoom]

I did not grow up in the West, I am married now and my wife and I choose to live without maids or servants.

I've been fortunate enough in my career to afford household help but I still choose not to.

I wash my clothes, I do the dishes (handwashing as I can't get a decent dishwasher at appliance stores), clean whenever I can, etc. Note that I live in relatively clean apartment and have largely kept the house in decent shape.

Yet it has not stopped me from moving forward in my career, enjoying the fruits of it, and still having time for leisure.

And this is from a guy who grew up with yayas and maids.

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How many children did you and your wife raise wihtout yayas?