Do you believe in second chances?

[_Cathy_]

Bakit kaya yung mga boss ko, I can get them to do what I want. They never say no to me, I know they go beyond for me, they fight for me, just now I found out, kahit outsourced na department ko, my bosses are looking at another loophole to keep me longer, I am overwhelmed that in the middle of this chaos inisip pa rin nila ko. I love my bosses talaga, pero bakit si crush it's so hard to get through to him? Hindi ba dapat mas mahirap sa bosses ko since this is a professional setting at hindi naman ako intimate sa kanila?

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND IT AT ALL.

[dr. d]

your boss and the company know what they want.

people... they at times do not know what they want.

[_Cathy_]

your boss and the company know what they want.

people... they at times do not know what they want.

doctor, I've known them for more than 10 yrs and I definitely don't feel like I am just a statistic to them because I know what my bosses have gone through just to keep me. I would not have this loyalty for them if I felt like just a headcount. My alpha VP boss fought his boss to keep me, that is why I am the only headcount in Manila reporting directly to headquarters, that was a special arrangement. Every year they have to justify to upper management in HQ why there is a lone person in Manila. So I am very very happy and satisfied with my job in spite of the low salary (compared to other industries) Even the little things pinagbibigyan nila ko.

I can't remember the last time my bosses said no to me, I don't recall. All I can say is they don't disappoint me. It's the little things doc, I can't explain it all basta very attune din sila pag bad mood ako. Even all my colleagues, family and friends are saying napaka swerte ko sa boss. Minsan nga nasusungitan ko tapos my boss would ask me questions like "are you mad at me" or why I have been quiet (meaning ilang araw ko siya hindi pinansin LOL)

Hindi ko lang talaga maintindihan bakit I can't get crush! Why does he have to give me a hard time.

[travajante]

Because I'm a masochist and I want what I can't have

The absence of pleasure makes it not masochism but plain suffering, ma'am. Nobody wishes you that.[emoji120]


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[travajante]

Nah, marami diyan tuwang tuwa when I am in misery or when I am in hiatus (lalaki na parang babae na catty lang ugali LOL!) But then there really are good people here at the board who have been supportive all the way, those I think are the good guys online and in real life. Sabi nga ng friend ko, anyone who can put up with me is a really good person

Genuine is true....& the truth can often hurt. 'Support' can go either way....along or against. I see no bad here. You mods have long weeded em out. Even Coach jmc roots for you, y'know.


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[dr. d]

doctor, I've known them for more than 10 yrs and I definitely don't feel like I am just a statistic to them because I know what my bosses have gone through just to keep me. I would not have this loyalty for them if I felt like just a headcount. My alpha VP boss fought his boss to keep me, that is why I am the only headcount in Manila reporting directly to headquarters, that was a special arrangement. Every year they have to justify to upper management in HQ why there is a lone person in Manila. So I am very very happy and satisfied with my job in spite of the low salary (compared to other industries) Even the little things pinagbibigyan nila ko.

I can't remember the last time my bosses said no to me, I don't recall. All I can say is they don't disappoint me. It's the little things doc, I can't explain it all basta very attune din sila pag bad mood ako. Even all my colleagues, family and friends are saying napaka swerte ko sa boss. Minsan nga nasusungitan ko tapos my boss would ask me questions like "are you mad at me" or why I have been quiet (meaning ilang araw ko siya hindi pinansin LOL)

Hindi ko lang talaga maintindihan bakit I can't get crush! Why does he have to give me a hard time.

precisely, madam.
your boss wants you with the company.
that is why they are moving the proverbial heaven and hades.

crush, on the other hand...
he probably still remembers his past with you, and does not know what to do.
and you... "tunnel vision..." ?

[jmc21420]

It's clear to him that I still want him. Baka nga he is with someone else na kaya he keeps things friendly. I don't know what to do anymore kasi I'm hurting again with him keeping me in the friend zone. What if this is the end of the world na diba

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I hope I’m wrong in this because I wish you happiness.

But it got me thinking. His acts of kindness were not so kind after all.

It seems like he was just leading you on, trying to ensnare you, so that, if you would fall for him, he could get even at you.

He must have been so crushed that, even after all those years, he was not able to get over what happened.

He must be rejoicing by now for having exacted his revenge.

This guy is weak. Whoever he thinks he is, he is nobody but a wicked, vengeful lot. Revenge is the refuge of the weak. He is not an alpha.

But it isn’t the end of the world.

Show your mettle. Be strong.

You must be at your lowest point right now. It is temporary. Pain is not permanent, but giving up is.

Your world doesn’t stop to revolve just because you were scorned.

By all means, you grieve, you cry. Then you dust off. Our greatest glory is in rising every time we fall.

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”

I think you just love the idea of being in love.

You’re so enamored with this guy because he is this and he is that. You have a preconceived idea what your man is or should.

And you perceived that he had all these traits that you look for. It’s that rational part in you that says so. It ain’t love.

The neocortex is that part of the brain responsible for rational, analytical thought, and language. So, when you say, you love him because he is successful, good looking, etc. That isn’t love.

Love is a feeling. It isn’t a rational or analytical thought. It is difficult to express it in words.

The limbic brain is that part of our brain that is responsible for all our feelings, like love, trust, and loyalty. But the limbic brain has no capacity for language.

We find it difficult to put our feelings into words.

That’s why we are hard put to explain why we love someone or we are loyal to somebody.

You are not in love with him.

You are in love with the idea.

You can get over it so easily.

You don’t know how resilient you are.

You examine your life.

As I said, if you’re the same person five years ago, then you’re not growing.

Reinvent yourself.

Years from now, you’ll look back, and, with a smile in your eyes, you say to yourself: “oh, that was so stupid.”

And you just laugh at your folly.

But that is just life is.

It goes on.


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[_Cathy_]

The absence of pleasure makes it not masochism but plain suffering, ma'am. Nobody wishes you that.[emoji120]

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Believe me, some people bask in my sorrow

Genuine is true....& the truth can often hurt. 'Support' can go either way....along or against. I see no bad here. You mods have long weeded em out. Even Coach jmc roots for you, y'know.

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Thanks for not getting tired of my issues

precisely, madam.
your boss wants you with the company.
that is why they are moving the proverbial heaven and hades.

crush, on the other hand...
he probably still remembers his past with you, and does not know what to do.
and you... "tunnel vision..." ?

doc, salamat for rooting for crush and I. He was really amused when I told him about the dialogue you made about us haha!

We will see if he will still message me tomorrow, that will prove his consistency, kung wala it means wala na talaga siya interest sakin. I did not reply to his last message to me kasi naiyak na ko, sumama talaga loob ko and if I reply baka hindi lang maganda masabi ko kaya I cried my heart out na lang

I hope I’m wrong in this because I wish you happiness.

But it got me thinking. His acts of kindness were not so kind after all.

It seems like he was just leading you on, trying to ensnare you, so that, if you would fall for him, he could get even at you.

He must have been so crushed that, even after all those years, he was not able to get over what happened.

He must be rejoicing by now for having exacted his revenge.

This guy is weak. Whoever he thinks he is, he is nobody but a wicked, vengeful lot. Revenge is the refuge of the weak. He is not an alpha.

But it isn’t the end of the world.

Show your mettle. Be strong.

You must be at your lowest point right now. It is temporary. Pain is not permanent, but giving up is.

Your world doesn’t stop to revolve just because you were scorned.

By all means, you grieve, you cry. Then you dust off. Our greatest glory is in rising every time we fall.

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”

I think you just love the idea of being in love.

You’re so enamored with this guy because he is this and he is that. You have a preconceived idea what your man is or should.

And you perceived that he had all these traits that you look for. It’s that rational part in you that says so. It ain’t love.

The neocortex is that part of the brain responsible for rational, analytical thought, and language. So, when you say, you love him because he is successful, good looking, etc. That isn’t love.

Love is a feeling. It isn’t a rational or analytical thought. It is difficult to express it in words.

The limbic brain is that part of our brain that is responsible for all our feelings, like love, trust, and loyalty. But the limbic brain has no capacity for language.

We find it difficult to put our feelings into words.

That’s why we are hard put to explain why we love someone or we are loyal to somebody.

You are not in love with him.

You are in love with the idea.

You can get over it so easily.

You don’t know how resilient you are.

You examine your life.

As I said, if you’re the same person five years ago, then you’re not growing.

Reinvent yourself.

Years from now, you’ll look back, and, with a smile in your eyes, you say to yourself: “oh, that was so stupid.”

And you just laugh at your folly.

But that is just life is.

It goes on.


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Wow, appreciate your effort in this reply. I know you are not aware of my love story with crush but remember, I was the one who hurt him and showed up after 3 yrs asking for his help. How could he lead me on when I was the one who reconnected. I don't think he would want revenge on me, that's too petty for him or probably I am too insignificant for him to waste a revenge on pa hehe

I'm sorry but he is definitely not weak, he is one of the strongest people I know which is among the many reasons I fell for him. I don't know why you insist that he is not alpha because I know him personally and I know his background, he is as alpha as an alpha can get. I grew up around alpha men and I can recognize one when I see one. I am not the type of woman that falls easily because I have characteristics that I want and he had it all. It's not because he is good looking and successful, that is just a bonus. We share the same values and being around him makes me feel protected and I find comfort in his presence - a beta male can NEVER make me feel that way. We also have s3xual chemistry - it was instant

I am trying to win his heart again, its not even a month. I understand if he wants to take things slow but how long shall I wait. I can't be like this forever. Kaya nga ko inlove sa kanya because of the time and attention he gave me, now sobrang tipid. Maybe if he keeps doing this to me, ma fall out of love na rin ako...

[Mr. Ri Crash]

Hindi ako naniniwala sa second chance.

Pag iniwan mo na,ibig sabihin ayaw mo na. Pag ikaw iniwan, ayaw na sa yo.

Sa buhay bf gf or asawa, mag risk ka talaga. Wala yung sigurado or perpekto. Lahat yan may sablay, kung paano monhaharapin yu g sablay dun ka matuto mag adjust para maiayos.

Saka walang taong walang kapintasan, kalokohan yung wala ka makita na mali sa isang tao. Nabubulag lang ng maling paniniwala.

[jmc21420]

Wow, appreciate your effort in this reply. I know you are not aware of my love story with crush but remember, I was the one who hurt him and showed up after 3 yrs asking for his help. How could he lead me on when I was the one who reconnected. I don't think he would want revenge on me, that's too petty for him or probably I am too insignificant for him to waste a revenge on pa hehe

I'm sorry but he is definitely not weak, he is one of the strongest people I know which is among the many reasons I fell for him. I don't know why you insist that he is not alpha because I know him personally and I know his background, he is as alpha as an alpha can get. I grew up around alpha men and I can recognize one when I see one. I am not the type of woman that falls easily because I have characteristics that I want and he had it all. It's not because he is good looking and successful, that is just a bonus. We share the same values and being around him makes me feel protected and I find comfort in his presence - a beta male can NEVER make me feel that way. We also have s3xual chemistry - it was instant

I am trying to win his heart again, its not even a month. I understand if he wants to take things slow but how long shall I wait. I can't be like this forever. Kaya nga ko inlove sa kanya because of the time and attention he gave me, now sobrang tipid. Maybe if he keeps doing this to me, ma fall out of love na rin ako...

You’re welcome.

I just want you to see things in a different perspective. And like I said, I wish you happiness.

But it seems to me that your happiness depends or hinges on whether your crush gives you his time.

That’s not sustainable in the long run.

One day, you’re happy; another, unhappy. Overtime, it will take a toll on your health, both physical and mental.

You put your crush on a high pedestal.

That’s the big problem.

How could you get past him?

Think about this.

Even if he is top 10 highest paid executive, if he doesn’t own the company he’s working for, he is just like anybody else- an employee, a paid worker, who is always accountable to the company owner, who is the alpha, and who he will defer “yes sir, yes ma’am” to.

And how long do you have to wait for him knocking on your door?

I’m sorry to be brutally honest, but you sound like you are begging for his attention.

You deserve your own happiness.

You deserve somebody else who who can give you his undivided attention, his time, and who will love you for all eternity and for whoever you are.

Wealthy, powerful men do not settle for less.

Most of them are looking for a trophy wife or girlfriend.

The trophy is most likely very young, very pretty, who they display like a Bugatti or a yacht or a Gulfstream.

Or a statuesque beauty who is also successful in her own right, a somebody who owns a company or a daughter of a wealthy powerful man.

If you can’t change circumstances, change your attitude towards them. Or change your mindset altogether.

Stay safe and be happy always.


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