Again, I have been in the same situation. The situation felt as if it is the husband's fault of not living up to the expectations of the role so he ends up feeling guilty of having been the spark for the current situation.
Now it depends if the TS understands it is not his fault. As for trying to repair the marriage, it really depends on how committed you are in trying to keep the relationship (in bad and good times as mentioned in the marital vows).