its discouraging really.

its exhausting doing nothing. minutes seem like hours and hours seem like days. I heard our brains are essentially a huge muscle. if that's the case then mine's probably gone. I don't exert any effort at all with this sh!t. less than 2 hrs of easy work and I am done for the day. No challenge, no mental stimulation, no effort required. 9 years ago I remember actually wanting to go to work for 5 days/week even If i had the option to do it in 4 by working longer each day. I was averaging 30-40 hrs OT/cutoff. that was how I liked it here. 2 re-orgs, 2 ownership changes, almost 10 years later, a lot has happened. Our responsibilities have been taken away from us. We now have essentially 2 teams of the same kind for each area because of the acquisition. We are probably doing less than 30% of what we used to do before and yet here i am. here I am 9 hours a day sitting in front of my PC aimlessly surfing the web with my usual rotation of websites. and there are like 5 of 'em including tsikot. it doesn't help that they're so strict with what you can and cannot browse.

I manage a team of 6 who can do their work even with half a brain. They're good people, love them. but this is going nowhere. I fake my enthusiasm because I don't want the discouragement to affect them. Can you imagine your boss, the one who hired you, lose every fibre of motivation? yeah I am starting to look like that.

I started applying months ago, but have only been getting interviews lately. rumor has it that for 2015, our company had talks with the other big players in our industry about our non-compete clause. A waiver would have to be signed by legal if they wanted to hire someone from us. That probably explains why come Dec 2015-Jan 2016, suddenly i got 3 calls from 2 different recruiters when I have been searching as early as January 2015. first one never got it going, 2nd one got me on a job interview. interview was good. I am still waiting if I can get that offer. I hope to God i do.

Sorry for ranting. I know a lot of guys would kill to be in this position and call me lucky getting paid doing jacksh!t but for those of you who know, know that it. is. awful.

You do not have to reply, and I am only ranting, but if you have ever had this kind of experience then please comfort me with your stories hahaha...ha ha.. *sobs*