Results 981 to 990 of 4555
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February 1st, 2013 04:46 PM #981
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Tsikoteer
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February 2nd, 2013 11:14 AM #982Sa bus. Nagpapa-dede ang isang misis sa kanyang anak pero ayaw dumede ang bata.
MISIS: (galit) Kung ayaw mong dumede, ibibigay ko 'to sa lalakeng katabi ko!
After 20 minutes, ayaw pa din dumede ang bata.
MISIS: (mas lalong nagalit) Ayaw mong dumede, huh? Ibibigay ko na talaga 'to dito sa lalakeng katabi ko!
LALAKE: Misis, kailangan mo nang magdesisyon. Kanina pa ako dapat bumaba, eh.
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February 3rd, 2013 08:04 AM #984
This is a TRUE- TO- LIE STORY...
Isang provincial bus ang kararating lang sa istasyon sa Maynila.
Isang babaeng pasahero ang pinagkakaguluhan ng mga kalalakihan.
Kasi ba naman, mahimbing na natutulog ang isang napakagandang babae.
Ang siste, nakalabas ang malusog na kanaang dibdib, tulo laway ang mga kalalakihan,
Conductor: Ano ba naman itong pinagkakaguluhan ng mga ito? Mapuntahan nga.
At nakita niya nga ang walang malay na babae. Litaw ang kanang malusog na dibdib.
Naglakas loob siyang gisingin ito..
Conductor: Miss... miss... gising na ho. Nasa Maynila na ho tayo.
Naalimpungatang Miss: Dito na pala tayo sa Maynila... bakit marami yatang lalaki rito???
Conductor: Eh kasi ho... (sabay nguso sa dibdib ng babae na nakalabas pa rin)
Napatingin sa kanyang dibdib ang babae, biglang tumayo at nagsisi- sigaw!!!
Miss: ANG BABY KO!!! NAWAWALA ANG BABY KO!!!
:rofl01: :grin2:
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February 4th, 2013 04:54 PM #986
Two Teenage boys were picked up for doing drugs. When they went to court the judge said that he would like to give them a second chance if they could work in the community and convince young people not to do drugs they would avoid jail time. The two boys went to the community and did their work and returned to court the following month.
The judge asked the first boy how he did and he told the judge that he convinced 30 people not to do drugs.
The judge said, "That was great how did you do that?"
The first boy told him, "I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this: O o and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs."
"That's admirable," said the judge. "And you, how did you do?" (referring to the 2nd boy)
"Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever."
"156 people! That's amazing! How did you manage to do that!"
"Well, I used the same two circles. I pointed to the small circle and told them, 'This is your asshole before prison.'"
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February 5th, 2013 09:55 AM #987
One night, Superman was just flying around Metropolis making sure that everything's in order.
Then suddenly, he saw Wonder Woman thru her bedroom window.
Lying in her bed totally naked and legs opened wide.
Superman instantly felt an erection and thought of doing a "quickie" to WW.
So, faster than a speeding bullet, he f*ck#d WW and flew home happily.
WW: Did you hear something???
Invisible Man: No... but my assh*le sure hurts!!!
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Tsikoteer
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February 5th, 2013 11:51 PM #988Prof: Juan nagkopyahan ba kayo ng katabi mo ?
Juan: Hindi po ma`am
Prof: Anong hindi, parehas na parehas sagot nyo !!
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Juan: Parehas din po yung tanong na binigay mo e. malamang iisa lang ang sagot. teacher ka ba talaga ?
hihihi:-) palusot kpa juan!
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Tsikoteer
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February 6th, 2013 11:45 PM #989KABIT: kelan mo hihiwalayan ang asawa mo?
MISTER: ngayon na. paguwi ko
KABIT: talaga?
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MISTER: oo. sure na sure na. wala nang makakapag-pigil sakin. ikaw kasi ang mahal ko at sawa nako sa kanya. sasabihin ko ayoko na
nagmamadaling umuwi si mister sa bahay
MISTER: kelangan natin mag-usap, may sasabihin ako sayo
MISIS: ako rin may sasabihin
MISTER: importante yung sakin
MISIS: yung akin din
MISTER: hindi mo naiintindihan... ayoko...
MISIS: nanalo ako sa lotto 70million! ano yung sasabihin mo?? sabi mo ayoko
MISTER: aa... ayokong... mawalay sayo. i love you
hihihi:-)
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Tsikoteer
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February 6th, 2013 11:59 PM #990Amo: inday, may pulubi s gate,paalisinn mo nga..
Inday: Right away!
Inday to Beggar: hey you putrid-smellingbeggar with the diverse ambiance of scented junk that assails everybody’s nostrils & carbon free lungs, please go away now!
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Beggar: What?! Who do you think you are?!You pathetic trying hard nanny! how could you, a social climber & very low grade mammal, underestimate a high-class beggar like me? what the hell with u!
Inday: nakakasakit kana ah! mam oh,ayaw umalis oh!
hihihi:-) may katapat kna inday!
TATAY: anak, paki kuha mo nga yung kaning baboy kina padre sa kumbento.
JUAN: opo tay. pupunta na ako.
(pagdating sa kumbento)
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Juan: magandang umaga! may tao po ba sa kumbento?
FATHER: ano kailangan mo iho?
Juan: pinapakuha po ni tatay ang kaning baboy.
Father: ikaw ba ang anak ni pedro? ang gwapo pala naman ng batang ito! nag-aaral ka pa ngayon iho?
Juan: opo padre.
Father: ah, mabuti. ano naman ang kinukuha mo?
JUAN: KANING BABOY po.
hihihi:-)
the triumph of man over... man!, using the crudest of implements (by modern standards).
Traffic!