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  1. Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    1,382
    #1
    SI LOLO AT LOLA
    LOLA:make luv tayo!
    LOLO:sandali lang, kukunin kong condom ko.
    LOLA:ano k ba d n ko mabubuntis!
    LOLO:alam ko! Pero me rayuma ang BIRD ko, di pwdng MABASA!

    LOLO AT GRO
    a LOLO went to karaoke bar and was asked:"Sir, ano gusto nyo GRO o CG?"
    LOLO:GRO alam ko, pero anong CG, yan ba yung Call Girl?
    MANAGER: "Hindi sir, Care Giver!"

    LOLO AT APO
    Apo: Lolo bkit mas mblis pumuti ang buhok sa itaas kaysa sa buhok sa ibaba.
    Lolo: Kasi, apo, sa itaas puro problema. Eh sa ibaba, puro ligaya!

    HUSBAND AND WIFE
    Hsbnd: Ngpchek-up ako, dear Hi-blood daw ako,kaya bawal na akong tumabi sayo.
    Wife: Bakit naman?!Hsbnd: Kasi, sabi ni doc, iwasan ko raw ang matataba.

    BUY AND SELL
    Mrs:Hoy ale,refund mo pera ko!Nkasulat sa tag ng tShirt nabili ko:"Guaranty No Shrinking" eh bkit isang labahan,shrink agad?
    Tindera:made in China po yan,kya dapat baliktad pgbasa nyo.Sa Chinese Right to left po pgbasa."Shrinking No Guaranty"pO yAn!

    SPELLING CAN KILL YOU
    Spelling can kill you. Watch out -Husband on an out of town assignment sent a text to wife: "Trip is wonderful.Am having a good time.Wish you were her"!

  2. Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    21,244
    #2
    ayos ito:

    LOLO AT APO
    Apo: Lolo bkit mas mblis pumuti ang buhok sa itaas kaysa sa buhok sa ibaba.
    Lolo: Kasi, apo, sa itaas puro problema. Eh sa ibaba, puro ligaya!
    SPELLING CAN KILL YOU
    Spelling can kill you. Watch out -Husband on an out of town assignment sent a text to wife: "Trip is wonderful.Am having a good time.Wish you were her"!

  3. Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    1,382
    #3
    MALALIM NA PANAGINIP
    Pre1: pre prang mlalim ang iniicp mo!
    Pre2: na2ginip aq kgbi ksma q 50contestants ng ms universe!
    Pre1: swerte mo! E ano prblema?
    Pre2: pre aq nanalo! :D

    CHINESE MAN DYING ON BED
    Chinese man on his dying bed..Aki asawa ajan b?Oo.
    Aki pnganay ajan b?Opo.
    Akin buso ajan b?Opo.
    **** ina ny0..Dito kyo laat..Wla tao tindhan..!!

    WHO ARE YOU GOING TO SAVE
    Halimbwa nsa palubog na bangka na sinasakyan mo,
    ksama mo ang syota mong nangangaliwa at ang best friend mong backfighter.
    Sino ililigtas mo?
    Ung bangka o ung sagwan?

    APLHABETO
    3 kids onstage reciting their own alphabet.
    Kano:"Ei BeeSi Dih Ee..
    Pinoy:"Ah BahKa Da Eh..
    Muslim sa Quiapo:"Di Bi DiBi Ci DiEm Pi Tri..

    NOTICE: Sa mga bumabasa nito, pagpaumanhin ninyo po at ito po ay isang kathang isip lamang at walang pinapatamaan na tao sino man.

  4. Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    368
    #4
    HUSBAND AND WIFE
    Hsbnd: Ngpchek-up ako, dear Hi-blood daw ako,kaya bawal na akong tumabi sayo.
    Wife: Bakit naman?!Hsbnd: Kasi, sabi ni doc, iwasan ko raw ang matataba.




    SPELLING CAN KILL YOU
    Spelling can kill you. Watch out -Husband on an out of town assignment sent a text to wife: "Trip is wonderful.Am having a good time.Wish you were her"![/QUOTE]

    huli!!!! :rofl:

  5. Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    1,382
    #5
    GIRL IN HELL
    A girL in hell complained 2 satan.
    GIRL:"Äng dÄmingcÜtÉ gÜys d2, kYÄ Lng Äng LiLiit ng bird"
    SATAN:"gÄgÄ!kng mLÄki yÄnÉ d prÄ kÄ ring nÄsÄ HEAVEN!"

    CALAMANSI
    NUN:m0thr i ws rapeD.Wt shal i do?
    M0THERSUPRIOR: hir,tke ds cAlamANsi.
    NUN:wil ds ease d pain?
    M0THER: sipsipin mO!Nang mwala ngiti s mukha mO,gAga!

    TEXTMATES EYEBALL
    GIRL:magsusuot ako ng yellow, ikaw?
    BOY: i wr green t-shirt.
    At the coffee shop...Ugly girl in yellow comes in. No guy in green. She approaches guy in red.
    GIRL: xcuse me, R u my txm8?
    BOY: öi inde ah, nka green ba ko?!

    COFEE NALANG DEAR
    LOLA: ALAm m0 därleng kApg ktAbi kitA At nAg-AALmUsAL tAU, nAg-iinit pA rin Ak0
    LOLO: PAAn0ng di kA mAg-iinit Eh nkALAyLAy yAng DEDE m0 s kApe

  6. Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    417
    #6
    joke! joke! joke!

  7. Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    4,313
    #7
    Man went 2 confession.
    M-Father during d war a beautiful young lady asked me to hide her from d enemies so I hid her in d attic.
    F-Dats a very good gesture. U need not confess.
    M-But as d days went, she repaid we w DAILY ***UAL FAVORS.
    F-Dats stil 4given my son.
    M-Thank u Father. But I hav another question.
    F-Wat is it my son?
    M-Shall I tell her d WAR IS OVER?

  8. Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    1,382
    #8
    DYING HUSBAND
    Dying husband: i hv smtng 2tel u.
    Wife:dont speak, just rest.
    Husband: n0, i must c0nfess, i hd *** wd ur sis & ur best friend.
    Wife: shhh..i knw.. Dats y, i poisond u. :D

    CONFESSION BOOTH
    ***y girl ngku2mpsal:
    Pari: iha,an0 an iy0ng ikkmpsal?
    ***Y:fader,pg nkkrnig po q ng la2kng ngmu2ra d q mpglan srli q n ya2in xa mg***!
    Pari: tangna,d nga?!

    TATAY AT SI JUNIOR
    TATAY:Jr!Pa2nayan mong d ka bading,isigaw m0 laht ng sasabihin ko.baril
    Jr:baril!
    TATAY:bala!
    Jr:bala!
    TATAY:armalite!
    Jr:armalite!
    TATAY:lalaki!
    Jr:Asaaan?!

    SI MARE AT PARE
    Mare1: Mare pwde ba d2 muna ako s inyo?Lumayas ako sa min kc buntis ako.
    Mare2: Dapat s taong nkbuntis sa u ka pumunta.
    Mare1: Kya nga d2 ako pumunta.Jan ba c pare?

    DI MAKATULOG
    Husbnd: di ako mkatulog, lagi kong iniisip ang utang ko kay pare n 50 thou.
    Wife:tawagan mo c pare sabihin mo d ka makkbayad para cya naman ang d mkatulog!

    TEACHER & STUDENTS
    Teacher to students:what should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
    Student:a girl on the cover & no cover on the girl..!!
    Last edited by mikaztro; September 23rd, 2006 at 11:04 PM.

  9. Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    4,313
    #9
    It takes only two people to maintain a peaceful and happy home. Kung magkaisa lang sana ang KABIT at ASAWA, walang gulo ang pamilya.

  10. Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    57
    #10
    Sa Mental...
    Baliw1: Tol d ka ba pagod paggising mo?
    Baliw2: D naman pre, bakit?
    Baliw1: Napanaginipan kasi kita kagabi, takbo k dw ng takbo...

    >>>>>>>>

    Baliw: (tumawag sa mental hospital) hello...may tao pa ba sa room 31?
    Phone Operator: wala na, bakit?
    Baliw: check ko lang kung nakatakas talaga ako...

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Text Jokes!!!