Parenting - How should children be treated?

**Taurus** · August 23rd, 2007 05:51 PM

Parents,

Poll:

What kind of a parent are you? Or your parents?
"Nurturant parent model"
"Strict father/mother model"
"Attachment parenting"
"Taking Children Seriously"
"Parenting For Everyone"

I have a 4 year old son who's a preschooler and I am having a hard time disciplining him. Of course I would want to go follow a non-violent method and not :bottom: since this will only lead to more misbehaviour in the long run. But I sometimes get to scold him when I can't hold my temper

, but then again I think that this may not be that effective also. How do you tend to discipline your child in times that they are on the period of an outburst of anger.

BTW, he has a 6 month old sister and we think that he is just jealous on some attention that we are not giving him proper.

**1D4LV** · August 24th, 2007 10:17 AM

me and my wife's style to our 7-year old son.

when he was 2 and 3, he was really super kulit, so andun yung disiplina and pagiging strict namin. pero ngayon hindi na. in fact, i treat my kid as an adult already. pero minsan, hindi maiiwasan na nai-sheshelter ko pa, dahil kaisa-isang anak eh.

i let him also taste the real value of life. example, imbes na naka kotse, i let him try to ride a jeep, a tricycle. one time, nagpunta kami sa mga byenan ko sa QC (im from las pinas). i parked my car sa makati, and took the MRT up to North Avenue with my wife and kid.

i also encourage my kid to give what he thinks he has in excess, but not expect to receive. we teach him that there are people who have less than what we have and we encourage him to be kind to those people.

i also taught him how to play golf.... hehehehe. in fact he can hit 50 yards na using a pitching wedge... hehehehe. taught him how to ride a bike (using trainers first, tapos tinaggal ko na..) the basics of boxing, and how to swim. next lesson: basketball.

don't be too strict or too loose with your children. be reasonable too. let him/her make her own decisions. it will be very useful to the kid when he/she grows up. kung tingin nyong reasonable yung decision ng kid, then so be it, pag hindi, explain the reasons why the decision can't be done, and offer alternatives. but yes, let him/her enjoy his/her life as a kid. yung anak ko, sa kanya yung plasma tv ko every friday night to sunday morning dahil sa kanyang PS2. ginagamit ko na lang is yung conventional 21 inch TV namin.

and lastly, teach him/her good values. Christ-centered values. everything will turn out to be fine.

another next lesson: the principles of savings.... hehehehehe.

**skyglider** · August 24th, 2007 11:14 AM

Originally Posted by happy_gilmore

me and my wife's style to our 7-year old son.

when he was 2 and 3, he was really super kulit, so andun yung disiplina and pagiging strict namin. pero ngayon hindi na. in fact, i treat my kid as an adult already. pero minsan, hindi maiiwasan na nai-sheshelter ko pa, dahil kaisa-isang anak eh.

i let him also taste the real value of life. example, imbes na naka kotse, i let him try to ride a jeep, a tricycle. one time, nagpunta kami sa mga byenan ko sa QC (im from las pinas). i parked my car sa makati, and took the MRT up to North Avenue with my wife and kid.

i also encourage my kid to give what he thinks he has in excess, but not expect to receive. we teach him that there are people who have less than what we have and we encourage him to be kind to those people.

i also taught him how to play golf.... hehehehe. in fact he can hit 50 yards na using a pitching wedge... hehehehe. taught him how to ride a bike (using trainers first, tapos tinaggal ko na..) the basics of boxing, and how to swim. next lesson: basketball.

don't be too strict or too loose with your children. be reasonable too. let him/her make her own decisions. it will be very useful to the kid when he/she grows up. kung tingin nyong reasonable yung decision ng kid, then so be it, pag hindi, explain the reasons why the decision can't be done, and offer alternatives. but yes, let him/her enjoy his/her life as a kid. yung anak ko, sa kanya yung plasma tv ko every friday night to sunday morning dahil sa kanyang PS2. ginagamit ko na lang is yung conventional 21 inch TV namin.

and lastly, teach him/her good values. Christ-centered values. everything will turn out to be fine.

another next lesson: the principles of savings.... hehehehehe.

nice one sir hg! this is a very nice tip...

yung baby ko din 2 years old pa lang ngayon kaya super kulit... sinasanay na din namin ni mrs sa public transport... tuwang-tuwa nga sa LRT & MRT, ayaw bumaba akala niya laruan pa din...

**niky** · August 24th, 2007 11:40 AM

I'm too paranoid to let my kid ride in anything than a government-approved child seat...

...but the LRT-MRT thing is a neat idea.

Our kid is 20 months old. She's a handful (like a boy). We do tell her what she can't do, but she's not at the age where she can understand punishment yet. I've got a similar conundrum, myself... I don't believe in corporal punishment (I had enough of that as a child), but when I see how my siblings turned out, considering their upbringing was more laissez-faire, I'm not satisfied that it builds character.

Better the typical cruel, abusive, telenovela-silly parents... their kids always turn out to be saints on TV...

But seriously, I think firm but fair is the way to go... no spanking, though.

**city** · August 24th, 2007 11:57 AM

no to spanking

no to humiliation

no to scolding

no to corporal punishments

no to scaring
no to violent communication

I treat my daughter with respect and dignity. Shower her with love, understanding and compassion.....guess what...no need to discipline her

**Eismann** · August 24th, 2007 12:06 PM

No matter what age they are, I think giving them respect is the best way to raise them up. Of course we love them, their our kids. And for sure they love us. Give them the respect they deserve and they will give it back in return.

**toyboxph** · August 24th, 2007 12:26 PM

just in case you are very angry with your child and you need to punish him/her, ask your child to go to his room first. this way, your anger will subside at maiiwasan mo yung physical or verbal hurt sa kanya. by the time he's in his room and you follow him after a few minutes or seconds, you may be able to talk to him objectively. whatever you do, do not do anything to your child out of anger or pikon. remember to do everything out of love.

**1D4LV** · August 24th, 2007 12:32 PM

Originally Posted by toyboxph

just in case you are very angry with your child and you need to punish him/her, ask your child to go to his room first. this way, your anger will subside at maiiwasan mo yung physical or verbal hurt sa kanya. by the time he's in his room and you follow him after a few minutes or seconds, you may be able to talk to him objectively. whatever you do, do not do anything to your child out of anger or pikon. remember to do everything out of love.

in the case of my wife and myself, this is very true. but instead of letting our child go to his room and let our anger subside, kami ang lumalabas sa veranda at nagpapahangin. after 10 minutes, wala na yung galit, and we explain to our kid what angered us and what should be the right thing to do in order for us not to be angry again.

we explain to him that hindi kami galit sa kanya, pero nagalit kami sa ginawa nya.

tapos sabay hug...

**vhenok** · August 24th, 2007 12:32 PM

Just do tell them the very basic...what is good and what is bad for them...

Always have a talk with your kids, explain in the manner in which they can comprehend why they should do it or should not.

Wag yung konting mali bugbog agad, aba'y ibang usapan yun...basta treat them in a nice way.

Some disciplines na nakita kong na-adapt ng mga kids ko:
- no pc/gaming/late tv-watching on weekdays, except if may assignments requiring the use of the pc
- once I say "no", stop na agad sila (may kasamang paliwanag of course kung bakit)
- yung eldest ko, during grocery or shopping, pinapaliwanag na namin kung ano yung bagay na kailangan bilhin (if necessity talaga), if sa tingin namin luho, we explain to her na di natin need yon, or better yet, ini-incalcate ko sa mind nya na we need to save to but those things. And also, we taught her the knowledge of value, alam na nya if ano yung mga less expensive items by merely looking sa price, and she looks closely na din sa quality if money's worth ba yun.

haaay...kwentong magulang hehe!

**m2's kumander** · August 24th, 2007 12:50 PM

we still don't have kids...pero i won't spank them. as in no to spanking, no scolding...di batas militar!

i think parents should talk to them in an adult like manner.
m2 and i agreed that we won't change the stuff in our house if we have kids. just like what vhenok stated, just tell them what is right or wrong. if they commit something wrong and hurt themselves int he process...asked them what they learned and never scold them. and express your love to them