Pag may maangas or mayabang? What do you initially do?

[oldblue]

masarap makipag-yabangan. brings out the best in you.

[Jun aka Pekto]

Hey Jun, I certainly meant no disrespect there. You have to deal with situations the way you see fit, and you learn from each incident. Having grown up here, I really didn't notice if it was difficult dealing with other races. We just kinda treated each other the same. Then again, Los Angeles might just be more culturally diverse than Arizona.

Actually, it was when dealing with other pinoys when I noticed that I was being judged and that they might have been feeling like I was judging them. I don't know how it is with other cultures but with pinoys, there seems to be a prevailing "flashy" attitude. I noticed that when I lived in the Philippines for 6 years and with filipino communities in the U.S. Now whether it can be called "mayabang", I wouldn't know. If that's just the way they are, then I guess there is more of an acceptance of the trait. Not only accepted, but sometimes admired. I actually dated a few girls who felt that I was more attractive because I came across as "maangas". I only heard of the term when they told me about it! I certainly wasn't meaning to seem that way, it might be just the way a confident person carries himself, I guess.

As for the topic of this thread, some of the replies were spot on for me. Was the person really mayabang or hambog or was it just how I perceived him/her to be? In either case, I think I've lived long enough in this world and have dealt with enough people to know the difference. The ONLY thing important to me is how those people can affect me. I think I am secure enough with who I am, my accomplishments, and what I have to allow them to. They can keep acting the way they do, that's their business, and the way other people will perceive them will be THEIR problem. Why make it mine?

[SIZE=2]hehe, I just thought of something funny, I bet some might find my words mayabang hehehe...[/SIZE]

No need to apologize, buddy. I mean we're just "talking" here as a matter of factly. I certainly do accord you the respect you deserve as if you were a guest in our house. Mi casa tu casa.

I don't really have that much of a problem dealing with other races. We're as diverse here in AZ as it is in LA. Obviously, we're in the same page since you nailed the being prejudged part perfectly.

I lived in the Philippines for several years as well. I never really noticed "that attitude" probably because I blended in perfectly (maong, plain white "Pina" t-shirt, tsinelas, no watch, no jewelry) plus my "barkada" of pinoy and pinay friends kind of shielded me from close scrutiny by others.

I never grew up with that attitude. When someone, a pinoy even, talks about say, skydiving...... It never occured to me that he's showing off. On the contrary, since I've never done it, I'm all ears and would often ask for more stories. It's his experience. I might learn something about skydiving from what he's saying. That's the way I look at things. There's always something to learn. I might be a little envious that he's done it. But, to think he's mayabang or showing off? The thought never even entered my mind. Now, if he's rubbing it in to my face and becoming insulting, then I might take offense.

Make no mistake, the vast majority of pinoys I like. That's why I have lifelong friends in the Philippines even after all these years and being with them is one reason why I've considered retiring in the Philippines.

But, there are the few you just have to be careful around. I remember one time in Binakayan, Cavite when one of my mom's kumares just blurted out that her daughter's doing very well (engineering student) and better than me. It wasn't a secret that I wasn't the most booksmart student around and every semester's a struggle. But she certainly didn't have to rub it in even while I was thinking that her daughter's pretty (and mahinhin unlike her mom).

My hands are up in frustration over the matter. Like you, I deal with each situation individually. But, I pray 'that attitude' disappears someday.....

[Jun aka Pekto]

sir JAP,ikaw ba iyan .nakakapagtagalog ka pala ng derecho

Shhh. He He. It took me 5 minutes to put that together. I feel so ashamed.... But, it's coming back slowly........

Ok lang, pare! kaya ko pa tagalog. Waray (si Asawa)? Suko na ko dun......

[empy]

same observations as the other fil-ams here. sometimes it's hard to distinguish between mayabang, simple self confidence, authority, or simply having a passion for the subject. it's also hard to distinguish between reacting to 'kayabangan', crab mentality, or simply 'being a hater'.

i wonder if people would find me 'mayabang' if i moved to the philippines?

on second thought, don't answer that! :bleh:

[GasJunkie]

^^^^^^^
too sensible for this thread ===> :bleh:

[van_wilder]

i'll kiss him on the cheek...





butt cheek...


:bleh: :bleh: :bleh: lick din... haha

[Lucius]

Sir best thing to do is observe. Kilalanin nyo muna. Who knows baka anak ni Senator or Congressman hahaha. Pag kaya sige. Just ignore the prick. Agree with oldblue, lalo na in conversations, several things will come out from your mouth ng di mo napapansin. Or with BF-GF situations, the girl will like you more pag confident ka and kinokontra mo sya hahaha - tried and tested, never failed. The feeling of "in control" is easily sensed by women, so yan if you exude that kind of aura if you can't be proud of your looks this would definitely help. If you are confident enough to say na you have it, then lalong madadagdagan ang list mo hahaha.

[Airwalk]

naghahanap ng matibay na kakapitan. mahirap na, baka madala ako sa hangin e

[badkuk]

i just try to play it cool. like what a lot of the guys have been saying, some people e talagang malakas lang ang dating, pero once you get to know them, you realize they're really not the big jerks you thought them to be. in a very subtle way, i just set an example for them by being humble.


kung di madala, aba'y lalayo na lang ako, anumang oras e pwedeng tamaan yan ng kidlat, baka madamay pa ako B)

[Alpha_One]

But, there are the few you just have to be careful around. I remember one time in Binakayan, Cavite when one of my mom's kumares just blurted out that her daughter's doing very well (engineering student) and better than me. It wasn't a secret that I wasn't the most booksmart student around and every semester's a struggle. But she certainly didn't have to rub it in even while I was thinking that her daughter's pretty (and mahinhin unlike her mom).

God, I hate it when parents compare children (to themselves, to other people's children) in front of their children!

[karlbo]

hinahayaan ko lang muna siya magmayabang ng magmayabang... hanggang sa mapagod.. pag sobrang inis na ako..






























nagmamayabang na rin ako... hehehehe joke.

seriously.,. hindi naman ako pala away eh.. unless na may ginawa na siya sa akin.. pero kung naiinis lang ako dahil mayabang siya eh wala.. deadma.. hayaan ko lang siya... ubos lang panahon ko sa kanya..

[Jun aka Pekto]

God, I hate it when parents compare children (to themselves, to other people's children) in front of their children!

You too, eh?

It can be very demoralizing for a teen or young adult. It certainly was for me. Besides that, I had a brainy, popular, and pretty older sister and I was often judged by her standards. By the time I was halfway through my BSME degree at Mapua, I've had enough of the double standard at home and out. That's why I didn't say much when my parents decided to send me back here. It was better if I went on my own and found my own way. If I stayed, I probably would've been a bum thinking I'm stupid and worthless like "they" kept saying.

Add: That's one of the few things I didn't like about the Philippines. People tend to judge you without really knowing who you are. Their methods of "encouragement" only served to keep you down in the dirt. I thought it could've been poverty. But even the well-off seemed to do it. I'm glad I didn't grow up with that attitude.

My wife had a similar attitude when our daughter was not doing too well. But she quit it fast when I raised my voice about it. Instead of putting our daughter down, I told her to show the correct principle for the problem and our daughter's been doing well since.

That's one reason why we haven't considered moving to the Philippines yet. I'm waiting for our daughter to move out and be on her own. I have no intention of exposing her to the attitudes that prevail in the Philippines.

[imontherhythm]

as long as walang name calling. pabayaan na. And kapag asaran lang ok lkang yun.

Pero kapag below the belt. I just dont talk. Pero pag sobra sobra na, i doubt kung makauwi ka pa mag isa. <----

[alwayz_yummy]

ako i deal with them in a passive way -->

"basta wag lang nya ako sasalubungin, kundi babangain ko siya!"

[Alpha_One]

You too, eh?

It can be very demoralizing for a teen or young adult. It certainly was for me. Besides that, I had a brainy, popular, and pretty older sister and I was often judged by her standards. By the time I was halfway through my BSME degree at Mapua, I've had enough of the double standard at home and out. That's why I didn't say much when my parents decided to send me back here. It was better if I went on my own and found my own way. If I stayed, I probably would've been a bum thinking I'm stupid and worthless like "they" kept saying.

Add: That's one of the few things I didn't like about the Philippines. People tend to judge you without really knowing who you are. Their methods of "encouragement" only served to keep you down in the dirt. I thought it could've been poverty. But even the well-off seemed to do it. I'm glad I didn't grow up with that attitude.

My wife had a similar attitude when our daughter was not doing too well. But she quit it fast when I raised my voice about it. Instead of putting our daughter down, I told her to show the correct principle for the problem and our daughter's been doing well since.

That's one reason why we haven't considered moving to the Philippines yet. I'm waiting for our daughter to move out and be on her own. I have no intention of exposing her to the attitudes that prevail in the Philippines.

As much as it can be an honest, unconscious thing, the practice can be very harmful. Here's how the message would be "decoded", by the parent (sending) and the child (receiving):

Message sent: Come on, son. We know you could do better, it's for your own sake.
Message received: We don't care about you. Your sister/cousin/friend/that ficticious character played by a TV child star makes a better son. Go away.

I understand why parents do it, for their child's sake, for the family's sake, and for their own ego's sake. But this sort of "encouragement" is destructive. Comparing children to a "gold standard" implicitly (or explicitly, if the parent's particularly evil) evaluates them LOWER than that role model. It doesn't matter what the parent thinks about the value of their individual children, the moment they're compared to somebody else, the children would take it as if they're being appraised as dirt.

I've been compared to and been the gold standard many times during my childhood. My parents don't do it a lot, but my aunts, uncles, teachers, did. Being compared to just made me feel bitter about it. Being the comparison, while initially gave a huge ego boost, eventually made me feel guilty - when I'm the "gold standard", I feel bad about the other child that I'm supposedly better at it than him.

How ironic.

[MajorWoody]

Simple. I turn around and walk away. Most people find that annoying

[badkuk]

Simple. I turn around and walk away. Most people find that annoying

before you do that...ask him something about himself, wait for him to start his blahblahblah, *then* turn around and walk away :D


still, just let him/her go on his rant. people like that tend to write checks with their mouths that their *$$es can't cash ;)

[mmanson]

depende sa mood..kung trip kong mag angasan kami edi go!pero minsan lang yun hahaha!

[mbeige]

before you do that...ask him something about himself, wait for him to start his blahblahblah, *then* turn around and walk away :D


still, just let him/her go on his rant. people like that tend to write checks with their mouths that their *$$es can't cash ;)

Tama, but watch your back

[pyeh!]

pabayaan ko nlang sya...ako nlang iiwas!