share ko lang po. enjoy!!!

behind every successful woman, there is a satisfied man. but behind a satisfied woman, there is an exhausted man.


teacher: what do you want to become?
li'l Johnny: doctor !!
teacher: why?
lj: coz its the only profession where u can tell a woman to take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it.

woman complaining to dentist it ' s so painful, I ' d rather have a baby than have a tooth removed. dentist make up your mind soon, I ' ll adjust the chair accordingly.

lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. wanted her tombstone to read BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN. the engraver shortened it to " RETURNED UNOPENED "

a kid asked the priest " father, what is your pastime? " the priest tapped the kid’s shoulder and replied " Nun, my child, nun "

75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl. on their first night both were crying. why??? coz she didn ' t know anything, and he had forgotten everything


"FREE MAN"
At a silver wedding anniversary, the husband was standing in one corner looking very sad. "What's the matter?" asked his friend. "Well, a week after marriage, I got fed up and wanted to kill my wife, but my lawyer said that I would get 25 years imprisonment. Now I realize that today I would have been a free man."

"LOST WIFE"
The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, "You know, I have lost my wife here in this supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why?" the woman asked. "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere."

When a bachelor marries, his wife has three qualities she is an economist in the kitchen, an aristocrat in the living room and a devil in bed. After a few years, sure enough the three qualities remain, but not in the same order she is an aristocrat in the kitchen, a devil in the living room and an economist in bed.

How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done for free.

First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're real lucky, mine's still alive."

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go on our anniversary?" She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

During their silver anniversary, a wife reminded her husband, "Do you remember when you proposed to me, I was so overwhelmed that I didn't talk for an hour?" The hubby replied : "Yes, honey, that was the happiest hour of my life."

One day a father called his 6 children together and asked, "Now tell me, who has been most obedient during last week and did everything mother asked?" In one voice they all replied, "You, Daddy!"

A couple had three children. Two of them were bright, smart, and handsome but the third child was dull, ugly, and backward. One day the hubby got suspicious and asked, "Tell me the truth, dear. Is this third child really mine?" "Yes, dear," replied the wife, "but the other two are not."

COMA
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he finally woke, he motioned for her to come closer.

As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?" "What dear?" She gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. "I think you're bad luck."