21 THE PEEK-A-BOO SH*T - Now you see it, now you don't. This sh*t is playing games with you. Requires patience and muscle control.
22 THE BOMBSHELL - A sh*t that comes as a complete surprise at a time that is either inappropriate to sh*t (while on a bus or having a haircut) or you are nowhere near sh*tting facilities.
23 THE SNAKE CHARMER - A long skinny sh*t which has managed to coil itself into a frightening position - usually harmless.
24 THE OLYMPIC SH*T - This sh*t occurs exactly 5 minutes prior to the start of any competitive event in which you are entered and bears a close resemblance to the Drinker's Sh*t.
25 THE BACK-TO-NATURE SH*T - This sh*t may be of any variety but is always deposited either in the woods or while hiding behind the passenger side of your car.
26 THE PEBBLES-FROM-HEAVEN SH*T - An adorable collection of small sh*t in a cluster, often a gift from God when you actually CAN'T sh*t.
27 PREMEDITATED SH*T - Laxative induced. Doesn't count.
28 SH*TZOPHERENIA - Fear of sh*tting - can be fatal!
29 ENERGIZER BUNNY SH*T - Also known as a "Still Going" sh*t.
30 THE POWER DUMP SH*T - The kind that comes out so fast, you barely get your pants down when you're done.
31 THE LIQUID PLUMBER SH*T - This kind of sh*t is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows all over the floor. (You should have followed the advice from the Lincoln Log Sh*t.)
32 THE SPINAL TAP SH*T - The kind of sh*t that hurts so much coming out, you'd swear it's got to be coming out sideways.
33 THE "I THINK I'M GIVING BIRTH THROUGH MY ASSHOLE" SH*T - Similar to the Lincoln Log and The Spinal Tap Sh*ts. The shape and size of the thing resembles a beer can. Vacuous air space remains in the rectum for some time afterwards.
34 THE PORRIDGE SH*T - The type that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps on coming. You have two choices: (a) flush and keep going, or (b) risk it piling up to your butt while you sit there helpless.
35 THE "I'M GOING TO CHEW MY FOOD BETTER" SH*T - When the bag of chips you ate last night lacerates the insides of your rectum on the way out in the morning.
36 THE "I THINK I'M TURNING INTO A BUNNY" SH*T - When you drop lots of cute, little round ones that look like marbles and make tiny splashing sounds when they hit the water.
37 THE "WHAT THE HELL DIED IN HERE?" SH*T - Also sometimes referred to as The Toxic Dump. Of course you don't warn anyone of the poisonous bathroom odor. Instead, you stand innocently near the door and enjoy the show as they come out running and gasping for air.
38 THE "I JUST KNOW THERE'S SOMETHING STILL DANGLING THERE" SH*T- Where you just sit there patiently and wait for the last cling-on to drop off because if you wipe now, it's going to smear all over the place.