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  1. FrankDrebin Guest
    #1
    I Don’t Want My Children to Grow Up as “Coconuts”!
    By Paco Arespacochaga

    I live in Los Angeles which is so socially mosaic. It’s a 1st world melting pot of different nationalities. You have the Koreans and their Koreatown, the Japanese and their Little Tokyo, The Chinese of Chinatown, the Thais in Thai Town, The Mexicans and Hispanics and their claim of the whole California and the Filipinos who are supposed to belong to the Historic Filipino Town zip code. Apparently, we’re not there! We’ve migrated and assimilated into society.

    Typical of any Pinoy living anywhere in the world, majority of us want to blend in as soon as possible. Sometimes, too soon, it becomes too “trying hard”. Everyone has an accent to grind! I was guilty of this when I was still living in Manila. I thought my accent and diction was THE standard way of speaking. I would laugh whenever I heard our house help, who was from the province, speak. I thought my driver’s name was Ruben. It was after seeing his driver’s license that I found out it was Robin! He was from the province too!

    My self and my puny brain made me so unconsciously condescending toward others who didn’t speak like me that looking back, I should have kicked myself in the butt! How shallow of me. Fyi, there were a lot of beautiful people from Iloilo, Davao, Cebu, Ormoc and other provinces that I ignored because they couldn’t speak like me. I should have known better.

    Now that I think I know better, I have observed that here in the United States, migrant Filipino parents talk to their kids in English. Koreans, Europeans, Hispanics and Middle Easterns don’t do that! English is something you learn on the streets. Your vernacular is something you speak at home that keeps you grounded to your roots or heritage, however you want to call it.

    I have a friend who looks very Ilocano. You close your eyes and you’ll think you’re speaking with Val Kilmer. That’s how he sounds! Can’t speak nor understand Ilocano or Filipino. He is second generation and he is a coconut! So what is a coconut? Is it a derogatory term? It really depends on how you look at it. It’s a synonym for someone that is “brown on the outside but white on the inside” just like my friend.


    He doesn’t see anything wrong with not knowing any Filipino words. I asked him what he thought he was. He actually said that he felt “white”. I teased and asked him if he felt “black”? I was floored by his answer. He said that when a Filipino from the Philippines comes to Los Angeles, they act like their black! And it’s not just limited to the Philippines. With this comment, I didn’t know how to react! I had to back out from the conversation for a couple of seconds to examine my “ya know what’m sayin?” attitude if I had one!

    I got the gist of what he was trying to say. But I guess, his parents are to blame with his mentality. He was made to believe he was white just like the emperor was made to believe he had fine clothing! I know what I am! I’m a Filipino living in the United States to give my family a good life. One I cannot achieve in my home country. “And what about my future children?” They will be Americans of Filipino descent. They will look Filipino and speak Filipino. And they will be proud of where their lineage started and where they ended up being. They will learn to appreciate the privileges they will have as Americans and they will also learn how to empathize with other Filipinos living in the Philippines. They will learn why an immigrant is an immigrant and learn to keep the immigrant mentality going because that mentality has a lot of drive because we have a lot to prove and we want to succeed!

    I want to instill value in my children’s being to make them better individuals of society. I don’t want to raise coconuts! (By the way, children of mixed race families are not considered coconuts.)

    May this article hold me accountable for the rest of my life!


    Paco Arespacochaga was born and raised in Manila, Philippines. The eldest of 6 siblings, Paco was orphaned at age 20 and had to find ways and means to move the family forward. Success came to him via his band, Introvoys, which is still actively playing concerts in the United States where he currently lives with his wife, Tiny.

    Aside from writing songs and playing the drums, he loves writing about the anything that moves. He enjoys teasing the brain.

    Paco has a son, Heaven, from a previous marriage who lives in the Philippines.


    http://pinoyexpats.org/php-pinoyexpa...ts=on#comments

  2. Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    12,347
    #2
    It's a free country. If 2nd gen Pinoy kids in the US don't want to learn Pinoy words, then that's their perogative and I wouldn't think of them any lower than anybody else. They're just doing what countless immigrants before them have done. Every single person in the US (with the exception of Native-Americans) were immigrants or had ancestors who were immigrants. You don't see them looking down on their own who don't speak the tongue of their respective homelands. Why should Pinoys be held to a different standard? If some Pinoy starts telling me I'm nothing because I don't speak the language, I'd tell him to f**k off and then cuss him in Tagalog. He's got some nerve trying to impose his ways on me.

    Blending in is not speaking the language in the same accent as the locals. Blending in is being yourself. The values of most Americans and just about everybody else aren't that different. Just be yourself. Learn english in school, not the streets. Not everyone trash talks like a gangbanger wannabe.

    Next time I see a Pinoy who thinks of other Pinoys like a coconut, I'm just going to grab the guy and tell him to shut up. Let the 2nd gens be what they want to be. Most will eventually find interest in their Pinoy heritage and will find it in their own special ways. The last thing they need is some self-righteous Pinoy telling them they're nothing just because they lack some language skill and without even taking that person's humanity into account....
    Last edited by Jun aka Pekto; March 17th, 2006 at 12:32 AM.

  3. Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    14,825
    #3
    IMO... what language we speak shouldn't really matter at all on how we treat/view other people.

    instead of uniting people, this will just create another gap between Filipinos.

  4. Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    12,347
    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by mazdamazda
    IMO... what language we speak shouldn't really matter at all on how we treat/view other people.

    instead of uniting people, this will just create another gap between Filipinos.
    Ayun na nga ang nangyayari. Maraming mababait na 2nd gen na Pinoy. Kaso, di marunong managalog. Dapat naman yung pagkatao ang tingnan at hindi kung marunong ng Tagalog. Ibang Pinoy dito nakakayamot talaga. Porke naunahan lang sila dito tigas tingin agad........ Tsk Tsk. Mas mabuti nga yung konti lang Pinoy. Madali lang pakisamahan. Pag marami, wala na. They all divide into their own cliques.

  5. Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    215
    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Jun aka Pekto
    Ayun na nga ang nangyayari. Maraming mababait na 2nd gen na Pinoy. Kaso, di marunong managalog. Dapat naman yung pagkatao ang tingnan at hindi kung marunong ng Tagalog. Ibang Pinoy dito nakakayamot talaga. Porke naunahan lang sila dito tigas tingin agad........ Tsk Tsk. Mas mabuti nga yung konti lang Pinoy. Madali lang pakisamahan. Pag marami, wala na. They all divide into their own cliques.
    One of the reason why I move to Pacific Northwest, not a whole lot of filipinos and if there is any, we tend to stick together.

  6. Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    12,347
    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by lakay
    One of the reason why I move to Pacific Northwest, not a whole lot of filipinos and if there is any, we tend to stick together.
    That's the majority of most Pinoys. We all get along pretty well, even in states with large Pinoy populations. But, it only takes one rotten apple to cause a huge mess. Believe me, I've seen my share. Sometimes, the cops just shook their heads in disbelief and refused to get involved.

    Take right now for example. My wife has a Pinay friend going through a divorce and is staying at our home until she can get her own apartment. Yung ibang Pinoy dito, kung anu-ano na ang pinagsasabi.

  7. Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    6,058
    #7
    I think what the writer means is don't forget your roots. Be proud of who and what you are. As immigrant parents, at least try to teach your kids to speak your mother tongue, tell them about the country where they came from so that they won't lose their identity.

  8. Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Posts
    8,837
    #8
    bakit coconut yun term? ano historic significance?

  9. Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    12,347
    #9
    Sorry. But I refuse to be obligated to teach my daughter Tagalog (or Waray in the case of my wife). My Dad never taught me Tagalog at home either. I learned strictly on my own and the same will be for my daughter. I will never force my daughter to learn Tagalog or any other language, for that matter. She already knows a heck of a lot more Philippine history than many Pinoy kids her age in the Philippines. We've taught our daughter to be very aware of her roots. But, I put my foot down on forcing my daughter to learn the language. She wants to learn it, fine. She doesn't? Oh well. End of story. If this guy ever puts my daughter down for not knowing the language, he'll be dealing with me firsthand.....

  10. Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Posts
    3,152
    #10
    i am experiencing the same battle in another sense, i am chinese, i look chinese, however i cant speak straight mandarin nor freely converse using that language, my parents neither look down on english or filipino language, however, i should at least be able to use and appreciate mandarin as the language of my origin, they are telling me not to speak tagalog but in reality it is instilling to me the fact that i should learn my own language...

    back to topic...
    i have nothing against the writer nor the coconut, what matters most is how they should value their roots and their origin.

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