How Successful Couples Keep the Fire Burning

**tinky** · February 24th, 2007 09:59 AM

[SIZE="3"]How Successful Couples Keep the Fire Burning[/SIZE]

Do you suddenly have a headache at the thought of making love to your partner? Would you rather spend the evening at a bar with friends than sidled up on the couch with him? Would you happily turn your hubby in for a brand new blender? Would you like to rekindle the romance but simply don't know how?

Anyone who's been in a long term relationship knows that's it's easy to get into a rut. Yet successful couples realize that romance and passion ebbs and flows. Such is life. The difference between those who make it work and those who don't, however, is that successful couples continuously make an effort to infuse romance rather than wait till
the relationship is too stale to salvage. It's an ongoing effort. That shouldn't be brain surgery, and yet, all of us struggle with it from time to time. The real question is whether or not you really want to make things work. So...

Ask yourself, do you want to be together? That's the bottom line. If you do, it's never to late to add some sizzle. Here's how:

Acknowledge and Let Go

To begin with, it's important to look at the underlying reasons why you are no longer connecting. Are you still attracted to him? Did you ever feel passion towards your partner, or is he more of a friend? Are you turned off because he's let himself go? Are you angry?

The accumulation of resentment is a major reason couples grow apart ***ually. Let petty issues go, and discuss the bigger ones. Couples who make up instead of hold a grudge are the ones that survive in the long run.

Remember and Appreciate

What brought you two together in the first place? Think about it. Remember his smile; the way he likes to play footsie with you before you doze off; the fact that he's obsessed with oral hygiene and flosses three times a day. Bring to mind all those silly and endearing things that make him who he is. It's important to recall those initial
feelings of attraction.

"My favorite thing is to treat each other the way you first did when you were trying to seduce the person," adds Dr. Judith Kuriansky Idiot's Guide to Healthy Relationships
(www.***ualtherapy.com. Flirt. Dress up for him. Wear ***y lingerie. Do it even if it feels contrived at first.

Also, concentrate on the positive rather than whining and begging about what he's not doing. Better yet, put your best foot forward and do something for him. For every negative there should be five positives, adds Kuriansky.

It's very important to make sure you appreciate one another. Do lots of small things consistently. Let your partner know that he or she matters. Respond to his email. Leave a sticky note in his pocket, compliment his hair. Buy him a gift simply because you love him.

Reprioritize

Move your relationship back to a priority position - schedule time together like you would a business meeting - and treat that time together like you're meeting with your best client, suggest Debbie & Paul Lamb, the co-founders of Lambs on Love, a company dedicated to improvement of couple relationships.

And don't wait for a holiday like Valentine's to do something romantic. It's expected and therefore not really as special. Mix in novelty. Do something spontaneous - show up at work with plans for a night out, plan a different kind of outing. Consider scheduling a weekly date night. Take turns deciding what to do. Plan a weekend get
away or revisit a place that holds special memories for you.

Bedroom Play

Whether it's trying a different position, adding a toy, new lubricant or a game, being willing to try something new can change how you see each other, says Pat Davis author of the Passion Parties Guide to Great ***: Secrets and Techniques to Keep Your Relationship Red Hot

And open up lines of communication. The most important *** organ is your tongue, adds Davis. Talk without judgement or attacks. Really listen. Ask your partner what pleases them in and out of the bed. We're constantly evolving, so even though you've been together for eons, there's still a myriad of things to discover about each other.

Remember it is never too late to spice things up. If you're married, you've made a real commitment and it's worth the effort. Try to make it work for you, your higher self, the kids and the community. There's a lot at stake, not least of which is your happiness!

**Jun aka Pekto** · February 24th, 2007 10:16 AM

I'm wondering if the author has kids...... I get the feeling he/she does not.....

My wife and I have kept our relationship going by being very good friends. I've always been disciplined from my AF days. So hygiene is never a problem. We keep in shape by riding bikes and walking. I'm still active in sports although I'll play less soccer this year because of prior injuries.

As for the bedroom, I've bought my wife stuff from Victoria's Secret. Still, I find her more attractive in plain shorts and t-shirt/blouse.

I do agree with the author that the tongue is a potent tool. He He. Any guy who says he can satisfy without it is a lying B. Aaaand.... the bath/shower is an excellent venue for the "Olympics". I've always liked water sports.

Add: My wife put a "quota" on how often we have the "Olympics" which is not often enough for me. That's why my "gun" is always locked and loaded, ready to fire.

**badkuk** · February 24th, 2007 10:33 AM

share ko lang...know what the ancient Romans did to preserve the family? they put up brothels. Just goes to show how scr*wd up they really are B)

**empy** · February 24th, 2007 11:37 AM

i'm suddenly feeling a bit hot and bothered

**oldblue** · February 24th, 2007 12:34 PM

sino ba nag-imbento ng PA-GUILTY, PA-AWA, PA-UNDERDOG EFFCT? yan ang talaga nag-ruin ng relationship

ahh wait, now I know ... It's the Catholic Church!

**Jun aka Pekto** · February 24th, 2007 05:27 PM

Originally Posted by oldblue

sino ba nag-imbento ng PA-GUILTY, PA-AWA, PA-UNDERDOG EFFCT? yan ang talaga nag-ruin ng relationship

ahh wait, now I know ... It's the Catholic Church!

I don't know. My dad's Protestant and yet, he's squarely in the "under" camp too....