FPJ jokes

[paulp]

> Bush, FPJ and Erap are talking about crime.
> Bush: How is your PAROLE system over there?
>
> FPJ: Oh, we hang them every Christmas.
>
> ERAP: Pare, tama ka, ganon din ang sagot ko!
>
>
>
> Erap and FPJ, on the way to Disneyland, see a sign
> that reads: DISNEYLAND
> LEFT."
>
> ERAP: Sayang, hindi natin naabutan.
>
> FPJ: O nga, agahan na lang natin bukas.
>
>
> KNOCK! KNOCK!
>
> Mother Lily: Who's there?
>
> Susan Roces: Effigy.
>
> Mother Lily: Effigy who?
>
> Susan Roces: Effigy is my husband.
>
>
>
> Reporter: What political slogan will you attach to
> your initials "FPJ?" For
> peace and Justice?
>
> FPJ: No. "For Pareng Joseph!"
>
> Telephone survey conducted by the Bishops
> Conference:
>
> "Iboboto n'yo ba si FPJ?
>
> "If NO, press 1.
>
> "If YES, press 68795632523162956752365922."
>
>
>
>
>
> PAALALA lang po sa mga boboto kay FPJ:
>
> Okay isulat sa balota ang POE o KING. Huwag lamang
> po ipagsabay, dahil
> malaswa ang: POE KING for PRESIDENT!
>
>
>
>
>
> FPJ TO NPA: Sumuko na kayo.
>
> NPA: Di kami susuko pag di mo maispel ang CEASEFIRE.
>
> FPJ: Tangina ninyo. TULOY ANG GYERA!
>
> NEWS BREAK!
>
> Nagkasakit si FPJ sa kakaisip ng solusyon sa mga
>
> problema ng Pilipinas.
>
> LIBRENG SINE pa lang ang naiisip niya.
>
>
> Erap wrote an order to the grocer:
>
> "Please send me 2 goose."
>
> Erap: Mali ata.
>
> Sulat uli: "Please send me 2 gooses." Mm... mali rin
> a.
>
> FPJ: Pare, ganito na lang ang isulat mo:
>
> "Please send me 1 goose. P.S. - at isa pa!"
>
>
>
>
>
> FPJ & Erap in a museum. (FPJ looking at a mummy)
>
> FPJ: Pare, ano'ng ibig sabihin nitong 1300 B.C.?
>
> Erap: Pare, yan ang plate number ng nakabangga sa
> kanya

[artpogi]

Originally posted by paulp
> Bush, FPJ and Erap are talking about crime.
> Telephone survey conducted by the Bishops
> Conference:
>
> "Iboboto n'yo ba si FPJ?
>
> "If NO, press 1.
>
> "If YES, press 68795632523162956752365922."
>
>
>
>
> FPJ TO NPA: Sumuko na kayo.
>
> NPA: Di kami susuko pag di mo maispel ang CEASEFIRE.
>
> FPJ: Tangina ninyo. TULOY ANG GYERA!
>

hahaha! :bwahaha: :bwahaha:

[bardigones]

After the Debate:

Erap: Pre, mahirap ba yung mga questions?

FPJ: madali lang yung mga questions pare, yung mga answers ang mahirap!

[Cardo818]

Mwahahahaha!

[zero]

At PIZZA HUT -

Fpj: What are your specialties?

Waiter: Sir, we have all kinds of pizza.

Fpj: Ok, bigyan mo ako ng Shakeys!



isali ko na rin si GMA....

GMA shocked at news reports that Stanley Ho
gave her P700M campaign fund;

P200M lang kasi ang dineklara sa kanya ni Mike Arroyo!

[bardigones]

kaya pala galit si GMA kay mike nung bday niya habang nagattend ng mass.

[zero]

Erap: Ano ang tawag sa lumilipad na kahoy?

Fpj: e di, flywood! Tanga!



Last night I dreamt I was walking along the beach with the Lord, and he was carrying FPJ. I asked Him, why do you carry FPJ? He said, my
child, lasing na naman, baka manuntok.




Bakit inihagis ni FPJ ang bata?

Sabi kasi ni SUSAN ROCES kung walang pampers, I-HUGGIES mo na lang.

[vinj]

Here's a quote from FPJ last year:

When asked on the difference between showbiz and politics...

FPJ: "... its a big difference".

[gretzy]

hahaha expect a gullible president then