Do You Spokening English?

[cokyi]

di ba? hayaan na lang natin lahat ng mga mali mali nila... wala naman tayo lahat pakealam dun... so sarado na lang pala to dapat at hindi na sana sinimulan... wala na lang sanang forums ang tsikot.com, kasi kaya nga nagkaron ng ganito para pag-usapan ang mga bagay bagay...

[KALAMPAG]

Boyfriend to Girlfriend, may LQ: What do you take me for?! Granted?

Guard, answering the telephone: Hello?... Ah yes,for a while. Please hang yourself.

Starlet in an interview: If the odds are against me, then I will against them.

Inday Badiday asks a starlet about her mother's burial:
Inday: Kumusta ang libing ng nanay mo?
Starlet: Successful naman po.

Army officer to cadet:
"Do you know why I ask you to stand?"
"No, sir."
"Ok, why?" (anlabo!)

Teacher to students: Baka gusto nyong ibilad ko kayo sa covered courts.

Teacher: Class, I want you to watch *** scenes.
Class: What?! Teacher!
Teacher: What's wrong? It's a beautiful film starring Bros Welles! (Bruce Willis)
Class: Aah, Sixth Sense!

Sa isang examination:
Student: Mam, pwedeng gumamit ng liquid paper?
Teacher: Ang kulit naman! Sinabi nang pad paper lang eh.

After the examination:
Teacher: Okey, time is up. One, two, three. Come your papers to me!

A reporter interviews a politician about the Philippine economy.
Politician says: Talagang mahirap ang buhay natin ngayon. Pero slow by slow, we will success.

Teacher: Sorry, class. I'm late. My mother died three years ago. And now she's dead. (Ano daw?!)

Teacher: What is ur name?
Student: Dell.
Teacher: What is ur old? (maybe she meant how old are you?)

In a restaurant:
Waiter: Sir, How do you want your egg?
Customer: Side in, side out.

Mom interviews her daughter's suitor:
Mom: What's your course?
Suitor: Geo po (for geology).
Mom: Ahhh... Geo-rnalism. Ok yan. (ok nga!)

Guy to Girl: I love you. This is not a ball. ("Hindi ito bola" in English)

Teacher to students: Okay, form two straight circles and find your height alphabetically!

Teacher to students: Okay class, it's time to go home. Form a line and pass out slowly.

Angry teacher to student: I want you to bring your father and your mother, especially your parents,
understood?! Bring them tomorrow in front of me, right here, right now!

Emcee, in a party: The next song is the favorite song of my best friend, and neither do I!

Posted in an establishment: None ID, nothing entry.

Teacher: Oy, magdala kayo ng chip ahoy a.
Student: Miss may "s" yon...
Teacher: A, sorry. Chip ahoys!

Two lousy-in-english friends talking to each other:
Friend 1: Am I raining outside?
Friend 2: Not yet. Sprinkle only.

In an awards night, presentor goes: And the winner for Best Comedy Show is Okay Ka, Pare Ko! of IBS
channel 13. (Ever heard of that?)

Alma Moreno, in her show introduces Nora Aunor who comes in late:
Finally, please welcome, the late Nora Aunor.

Heard in a fastfood chain:
Yaya: Ma'm, gusto po ni Mark ng KIDNEY MEAL!

[chua_riwap]

Dati, meron akong matandang Supervisor (mahilig mag "carabao" English) dati sa trabaho sa Makati, na mahilig magpa-punch in ng time card (uso noon yun), pag medyo late na siya sa pagpasok.

Eto ang banat niya: "When you come in the morning, punch me!"

[oldblue]

eto naman kwento ng kaibigan tungkol sa classmate nya na nasiraan sa may Taft. Ave:

"I called the wrecker to wreck my car."

[Renelmac]

what i've discovered is that there majority of bilinguals here in the philippines specifically yung english and tagalog speakers, speak and know better english than tagalog. sad but somewhat true, in college ang daming mga taga-province na ang gagaling mag-english pero bumabagsak sa filipino subject kasi wala talaga silang exposure to tagalog. to add to this is the growing numbers of english-only families, pure pinoys but don't speak the language, be it any of the dialects either. para tayong tumatandang paurong..sad but true IMHO

[nugundam93]

oh noes!!!!11!!

i only speak english at work...and if i'm with my friend. i find i can speak better to her if i'm using english.

the rest of the day, tagalog. :D

[mrpink]

.. kung kausap ko magandang tsiks .. napapa-ingles ako ... si anne curtis ... nung chinika ako sa power books ... napa-ingles ako ... hehe ...

[shadowfax]

wag na lang mag-english kung mali naman...
about visayans: second language nila ang english parang mga taga-Mountain province mas madali sa kanila ang magsalita ng English kesa Tagalog...

[Bud_wiser]

re: english with kids

I speak to my daughter in English because I want her to have the advantage of being fluent in it. She wants to learn tagalog and she tries some words and I don't discourage her to do so. But I tell her to speak English or speak atagalog, never mix them up. IMHO, she can learn tagalog in school. It's all around her and she will pick it up easily.

[cutedoc]

speak straight english if you can, straight tagalog if you cant do well in english, however if you want to sound a note higher, better deliver your reply in only straight enlisgh sentence or straight tagalog,mortal sin mixing and matching them up, sounds bad and youll look stupid

[mrpink]

speak straight english if you can, straight tagalog if you cant do well in english

imo ... if you want to learn but you can't speak straight english ... you should still try to speak it ... it's only when you practice speaking will you be able to speak correctly ... you'll get to figure out which correct nouns to use .. which correct verbs to use ... it will improve your sentence construction and grammar ... and it will improve your confidence that you're able to communicate your ideas in english ... you'll only sound stupid if you're trying to impress ...

[airshaq20]

I just recalled something:

When i used to live in Canada - they read Z as "Zed" not "Zee"....its freakin annoying when they say zed.....

300 zed x (300zx)
350 zed (350z)

they'd spell out zero as zed-e-r-o.......

.....one of the weird and funny thing about Canadians....oppsssss....what am i talking about.....im a dual citizen (actually, i have 3 citizenships, LOL)

[Tsuperman]

....ako naman, nag-eenglis lang kapag lasing na ako. Ewan ko ba? Ang sarap mag-ingles kapag lasing. Hehehehe

[ajb0613]

....ako naman, nag-eenglis lang kapag lasing na ako. Ewan ko ba? Ang sarap mag-ingles kapag lasing. Hehehehe

One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory
to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went:


"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this...

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo.

And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones

at the back that are killed first. This natural

selection is good for the herd

as a whole, because the general speed and

health of the whole group

keeps improving by the regular killing of the

weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can

only operate as fast as the

slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of

alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells.

But naturally, it attacks the slowest and

weakest brain cells first.

In this way, regular consumption of beer

eliminates the weaker brain cells,

making the brain a faster and more efficient

machine.

That's why you always feel smarter after a

few beers."

[voltes_V]

Sometimes I have to think first and translate in my mind of what Im about to say before speaking in english, but the good thing about canadians is that they dont seem to mind if you do make mistakes and get tougue-tied once in a while.

[Tsuperman]

That's why you always feel smarter after a

few beers."

Patay tayo diyan

[EL Chicane]

Ang usong English ngayon eh yung English ni Master Yoda.

[geebunny]

A Sign in an Upholstery Shop: "We make Auto Set Covers".

In a nearby restaurant, it advertised: "We serve Seat Menu".

[karlbo]

MGA SABLAY HIRIT...

"Well well well. Look do we have here!"
"Let's give them a big hand of applause."
"The more the manyer."
"It's a no-win-win situation."
"Burn the bridge when you get there."
"Anulled and void."
"Mute and academic."
"C'mon let's join us!"
"If worse comes to shove."
"Are you joking my leg?"
"It's not my problem anymore, it's your problem
anymore."
"What are friends are for?"
"You can never can tell."
"Been there, been that."
"Forget it about it."
"Give him the benefit of the daw."
"It's a blessing in the sky."
"Right there and right then."
"Where'd you came from?"
"Take things first at a time."
"You're barking at the wrong dog."
"You want to have your cake and bake it too."
"First and for all."
"Now and there."
"I'm only human nature."
"The sky's the langit."
"That's what I'm talking about it."
"One of these days is not like the other."
"So far, so good, so far."
"Time is of the elements."
"In the wink of an eye."
"The feeling is actual."
"For all intense and purposes."
"I ran into some errands."
"Hi. I'm , what's yours?"
"What is the world is coming to?"
"What is the next that is?"
"Get the most of both worlds."
"Bahala na sila sa mga batman nila."
"Whatever you say so."
"Base-to-base casis."
"My answers have been prayered."
"Please me alone!"
'It's as brand as new."
"So... what's a beautiful girl like you?...."
"I can't take it anymore of this!"
"Are you sure ka na ba?"
"Can't you just cut me some slacks?"

ETO PA....
1. I couldn't care a damn!
2. What's your next class before this?(ANO
DAW???!!!)
3. Nothing in this world is perfect except the
word "change"
4. Can you repeat that for the second time
around once more from the top?(ulitin natin
hanggang mamatay tayo!)
5. My dad brought home a lot of hand-me-downs!
(Translation: Daming pasalubong ng tatay ko.)
6. Standard and Chartered Bank
7. I'm very iterated!!! (transalation: galit
sya! haha!)
8. I'm sorry, my boss just passed away.
(translation: kakadaan lang ng boss nya.)
9. Hello, my boss is out of town. Would you
like to wait?
10. What happened after the erection of Mayon
Volcano?
11. Don't touch me not!
12. Hello?... For a while, please hang
yourself...
13. Its spilled milk under the bridge.
14. Don't change anything! Keep it at ease.
15. Hello McDo? Mag-i-inquire lang ako kung
magkano ang kidney meal? (yung pang-batang
pagkain)
16. You!!! You're not a boy anymore! You're a
man anymore! (coach?! coach?!)
17. Out of fit ako these days eh...
(translation: di sya nakakapag-exercise)
18. Come, lets join us!
19. Bring down the house down!
20. I'm the world champion of the World!!!
21. Beneath the Belt!
22. Rule of Hand... (thumb yata ibig sabihin...)
23. Can you repeat it once again?
24. Mukhang haggard-looking.
25. Do you have more brighter ideas?
26. Halatang obvious naman yata.

[chain]

i remember what my english teacher used to say:

if you're speaking in English, think in English.

Kung magsasalita ka ng tagalog, mag-isip ka sa tagalog. this way, the processes involved are lessened. you don't translate on the fly..