Pseudo-relationships

[karlbo]

Just wanna share it to those people who are into Pseudo-relationships.... Guilty ako dito.. .

She is a 24-year old copywriter. He is an architect. They met and became
>lovers in college. They broke up last year but remained to be "friends."
>They send sweet text messages and he calls her often to make sure she's
>okay. They still date. They still have ***. They don't see anyone else. It
>is obvious that they still love each other but when asked about their
>situation, she doesn't know the real score.
>Even her friends are in the dark. "Parang sila, pero hindi."
>She works in a telecom. He is reviewing for the board. They are in the same
>barkada. They talk on the phone till 4 am. He gives her chocolates, flowers
>and CDs even when there is no occasion. Their friends are suspecting
>something. Bakit sila nagsosolo kapag may overnight inuman? Why does he hold
>her close on the dance floor? Bakit sila magkaholding hands lagi? Sila kaya?
>"He hasn't admitted anything," she rants. "But I let him hug and kiss me.
>Parang kami, pero hindi."
>
>They work together in an ad agency. After office, they would watch movie,
>have dinner and stroll at Glorietta. She gave him Harry Potter books for his
>birthday in exchange for posing as her boyfriend to make an ex jealous. They
>made out during the company outing in Subic and never talked about it. He
>said "I love you" once but she wasn't sure if she heard him correctly
>because they were both drunk then. But one thing she is sure of is her
>feelings for him. She likes him. And she's assuming that with what he's
>doing to her and with her, he likes her, too. There's just one hitch: he has
>a girlfriend!
>
>She is a 28-year-old virgin. He's a 35-year-old bachelor. Both mountaineers,
>they became close during their climbs. After a few dates in posh
>restaurants, he brings her to his condo where they would make out. They have
>been doing this for months. She wants to believe that "sila na" but then
>she's not really sure about it. "We don't talk about it but it doesn't
>really matter," she'd tell her friends.
>"What's important is I am enjoying this -- whatever it is."
>
>The "parang kayo, pero hindi" stage. Others call it MU or mutual
>understanding. Pseudo-relationships. Pseudo-boyfriends. Flings. Almost like
>a relationship, but not quite. It is a phase where the persons involved are
>more than friends, but not quite lovers. Puwedeng may verbal agreement,
>puwedeng wala. One or both of you may have admitted your feelings, possible
>ding hindi. You just let your gestures do the talking for you. Walang pormal
>na ligawan na nangyari. Hindi kayo mag-dyowa. Pero sa kilos niyo, sa mga
>sinasabi niyo, parang kayo, pero hindi.
>
>This kind of "relationship" can happen at different stages for different
>reasons. It can happen after a break-up. You still love each other, and you
>want to be with each other but you broke up for a reason. And for reasons
>that you alone know, ayaw niyo na muna magkabalikan.
>
>It can also happen before a relationship, iyong pareho kayong nakikiramdam.
>Possible din na ayaw niyo munang mag-seryoso kaya kunwa-kunwarian lang muna.
>Testing lang.
>
>Puwede ring hindi puwedeng maging kayo kasi isa sa inyo --usually the guy
>--may ka-relasyon na. Kaya habang hindi pa siya nakikipag-break doon sa girl
>(sabi niya makikipag-break siya soon pero di naman niya ginagawa), wala muna
>kayong relasyon para nga naman hindi siya nangagaliwa kasi "hindi naman
>kayo."
>
>This pseudo-relationship stage, for a time, can be fun. Lalo na kung
>naghahanap ka lang naman ng "kalaro."
>
>Pero huwag ka lang mag-e-expect na may patutunguhan kayo kasi wala talagang
>kasiguraduhan.
>
>So bakit ang daming nagse-settle sa ganitong set up ganoong hindi naman
>sigurado kung may patutunguhan?
>
>Iba't ibang dahilan. Puwedeng for fun lang. Puwedeng "buti na iyan kesa
>wala" or puwede na iyang "pantawid-gutom." Meaning, habang wala pa iyong the
>real thing, doon muna sa kunwa-kunwarian.
>
>For those who are not in a serious relationship, they would think that
>pseudo-relationship is better than no relationship at all. It would be fun,
>if all you are after for is that "kilig" feeling.
>
>Aminado naman ako na once upon a time, may mga pseudo-relationships din ako.
>No commitments involved. For the simplest reason that they couldn't commit,
>because they were either committed to someone else, or that they weren't
>ready to commit.
>
>My rationalization, "okay na iyun, kesa wala."
>
>Ang habol ko lang naman, iyong kilig feeling. Iyong merong nagtatanong kung
>kumusta araw ko. Iyong merong ka-cuddle sa beach outing. Iyong kapag tumunog
>ang cellphone, mapapangiti na ako dahil alam kong galing sa kanya ang
>message. Iyong merong laging kasama. Habang wala pa ang the real thing,
>puwede na itong pagtiyagaan.
>
>But then I learned that although it was only a pseudo-relationship, the
>emotions were real. And usually, in this kind of set up, ang babae lagi ang
>lugi.
>
>Una, you can't ask him to commit. Since it's not really a relationship, you
>can't demand commitment from your partner. Ano ba kayo? May K ka nga ba
>magpasundo ng hatinggabi? You will always be uncertain about your role in
>his life. You can't expect him to be always there with you. And if you feel
>jealous of the other girls, you just have to keep it to yourself. Ano ka ba
>niya para magselos?
>
>Pangalawa, what if you fall deeply in love with him? You can't be sure if he
>feels the same way. Baka nag-a-assume ka lang na mahal ka rin niya. Even if
>you are dying to tell him you love him, you can't.
>Because you're not sure if he'll like it. Baka mapahiya ka lang. This stage
>will always make you wonder where you are in the relationship.
>Or if there is a relationship at all.
>
>Pangatlo, what if you become attached too much? What if you have invested
>all your emotions and this man hasn't? What if you remain faithful to him,
>not entertaining other guys, only to find out that he is seeing other girls?
>
>Isa pang downside ng pseudo-relationships, it is fleeting. When a
>disagreement sets in, or when one of you gets cold, then that would be the
>end of it. Unlike in a serious relationship, hindi mo alam kung saan ka
>lulugar sa isang pseudo-relationship. Wala kang pinanghahawakan. Kasi sa
>pseudo-relationship, there is no "us." Meron lang "you and me," hindi "us."
>
>Buti sana kung pseudo-pain din lang ang mararanasan mo. Kaso, hindi eh. Real
>pain. And usually, kahit tapos na ang pseudo-relationship, hindi mo maiwasan
>umasang one day, may karugtong pa rin iyun. And you will be miserable,
>hoping to bring back what you used to have, only to find out eventually that
>the guy is in another pseudo-relationship with somebody else.
>
>Ang hirap, ano? You agreed to this kind of set up for fun and then you'd end
>up hurting yourself in the process.
>
>Pero puwede naman maiwasan ang pain eh. Puwede naman na hindi mo muna isipin
>ang future and just enjoy the feeling, without thinking of the consequences.
>
>But if you are certain that you are going to hurt yourself in the process,
>kailangan mo mamili. You can be happy and live the moment without worrying
>what would happen next. Or you can stop settling with pseudo-relationships
>and wait for the real thing.
>
>When I was younger and in a pseudo-relationship with an unavailable guy, a
>friend told me, "Sige, kung ayaw mong magpapigil, bahala ka.
>Magpakasaya ka. Pero huwag kang iiyak-iyak pagkatapos, dahil tatadyakan
>kita."
>
>Ang bottom line lang naman, kung magpapasaya sa iyo, gawin mo. Ihanda mo
>lang ang sarili mo sa consequence. Dahil ang "parang kayo pero hindi" stage
>ay bihirang nagiging totoo. Usually, hanggang doon lang siya… almost, but
>not quite.
>
>

[cutedoc]

been there, done(doing) that...

[chain]

been there, done(doing) that...

guilty of this too... *sigh*

[ghosthunter]

been in the same boat...

[mikmik316]

ok lang naman to e.... ang tanong lang jan e kung counted din ang pseudo-relationship pag tinanong sayo ilan na ba naging GF mo?

meron iba kasama yan e para mag-balloon ang ex-gf figures...

hehehehe

[Flagg]

Dami palang expert chick-handlers dito... Bawal na sakin yung ganyan e, ayoko ng complications sa buhay...

[russpogi]

Dami palang expert chick-handlers dito... Bawal na sakin yung ganyan e, ayoko ng complications sa buhay...

Naks!

[empy]

haba naman nyan....


i don't think there's anything wrong with being "friends with benefits" (also known as "f*ck buddies")

as long as expectations and ground rules are clearly set, and any proposed changes to the agreement are clearly and quickly brought out into the open :hihihi:

[alwayz_yummy]

guilty ko noong binata pa ako....

tsik_ot.com, talaga

[skyglider]

have experienced it too nung wala pa kong asawa.

same pa rin ba kaya ang tawag sa ganon set-up pag-married ka na at meron ka pa ring f*****g friend...