is physical intimacy important to a relationship?

[mikey177]

how long is too long for you to wait?

If you were my son or daughter, the advice I would give you is to wait until after you are married before you physically consumate your union. This is because I believe in the sanctity of ***ual intercourse --that it is a sublime expression of the love of a man and woman and of their "becoming one" in the eyes of God.

If you're still dating or engaged, then be content with holding hands and kissing (hindi yung torrid kissing ha)... kissing that will not lead you into temptation.

I proposed three times to my spouse before she said "Yes." I respected her decision and I waited for her because I was sure she was the one and only woman I wanted to share my life with.

****

As to the first part of your question, on whether physical intimacy is important in a relationship, the answer is yes. However, intimacy exists on many levels and can be expressed in many ways. A tender hug when your partner is feeling gloomy can lift her spirits more than a quicky in a motel room. A short note or a gift to remind her that you love her will do more to prove your sincerity than going all the way before you are even married.

[devdevlin]

If you were my son or daughter, the advice I would give you is to wait until after you are married before you physically consumate your union. This is because I believe in the sanctity of ***ual intercourse --that it is a sublime expression of the love of a man and woman and of their "becoming one" in the eyes of God.

If you're still dating or engaged, then be content with holding hands and kissing (hindi yung torrid kissing ha)... kissing that will not lead you into temptation.

I proposed three times to my spouse before she said "Yes." I respected her decision and I waited for her because I was sure she was the one and only woman I wanted to share my life with.

****

As to the first part of your question, on whether physical intimacy is important in a relationship, the answer is yes. However, intimacy exists on many levels and can be expressed in many ways. A tender hug when your partner is feeling gloomy can lift her spirits more than a quicky in a motel room. A short note or a gift to remind her that you love her will do more to prove your sincerity than going all the way before you are even married.

i do not want to contradict your beliefs. but personally i would want intimacy before marriage to determine if we are ***ually compatible with each other. i dont want to come to a realization after marriage that hindi pala ako masaya sa wife ko ***ually then mag hahanap ako ng sideline.

[mikey177]

i do not want to contradict your beliefs. but personally i would want intimacy before marriage to determine if we are ***ually compatible with each other. i dont want to come to a realization after marriage that hindi pala ako masaya sa wife ko ***ually then mag hahanap ako ng sideline.

Well, you asked, which is the only reason I answered.

Anyway, how would you define "***ual compatibility"? How much weight does it carry with relation to emotional compatibility, life goals compatibility, faith compatibility, and all the other facets that make a relationship work?

Will you still be thinking about ***ual compatibility when you're senior citizens and you're sharing your twilight years together? I'm pushing forty right now, and when I think lovingly about my spouse, I cherish her not because of how well we interface ***ually, but because of how much we have helped each other grow, how we have built a bright future for our children, how we have matured in love and selflessness, and how much brighter and more complete our lives have been because of each other.

I hope that someday everyone will realize that the success of a relationship does not depend on what one can get from it, but on what one contributes to it.

[Aileen]

If you were my son or daughter, the advice I would give you is to wait until after you are married before you physically consumate your union. This is because I believe in the sanctity of ***ual intercourse --that it is a sublime expression of the love of a man and woman and of their "becoming one" in the eyes of God.

If you're still dating or engaged, then be content with holding hands and kissing (hindi yung torrid kissing ha)... kissing that will not lead you into temptation.

I proposed three times to my spouse before she said "Yes." I respected her decision and I waited for her because I was sure she was the one and only woman I wanted to share my life with.

****

As to the first part of your question, on whether physical intimacy is important in a relationship, the answer is yes. However, intimacy exists on many levels and can be expressed in many ways. A tender hug when your partner is feeling gloomy can lift her spirits more than a quicky in a motel room. A short note or a gift to remind her that you love her will do more to prove your sincerity than going all the way before you are even married.

salute!

[Aileen]

Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Boys don't want to reach for the good apples because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead they get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them when in fact they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy, the one who will risk everything, who's grave enough to climb all the way up tp the top of the tree.

[Memphis Raines]

Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Boys don't want to reach for the good apples because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead they get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them when in fact they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy, the one who will risk everything, who's grave enough to climb all the way up tp the top of the tree.

I LOVE YOUR METAPHOR!

I just have to memorize this...

[uls]

Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Boys don't want to reach for the good apples because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead they get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them when in fact they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy, the one who will risk everything, who's brave enough to climb all the way up to the top of the tree.

Ya there are apples way up high on the tree nga...

And they think they are way much better than the apples low down...

They talk about the lower apples "Eeeew, ang cheap nila!"

But the lower apples dont care. The lower apples get their boys, they get pregnant, then get dumped.

The higher apples think "See what happened to them? Cheap kasi nila. Di tayo cheap. That wont happen to us."

But the lower apples dont care. Life goes on. They have their babies, they raise their babies... years pass... the kids bring much happiness to the lower apples...

The higher apples are still where they are... high up in the tree... they get ripe with age... they get so ripe they just fall off the tree.

Now boys notice them on the ground... but dont bother to pick them coz they are no longer fresh looking...

hehehe

[boydapa]

uls:

The higher apples are still where they are... high up in the tree... they get ripe with age... they get so ripe they just fall off the tree.

Now boys notice them on the ground... but dont bother to pick them coz they are no longer fresh looking...

hehehe
-----------------------------------

great! o diba! ganyan nga nangyayari tingin ng tingin pili ng pili hangang sa dumating yun point na kahit na sila na yun nagpepresent sa sarili nila ayaw na kagatin. dami ko kakilalang ganyan! hahaha

[uls]

***ual compatibility:

What if the girl doesnt like ***? What if the girl thinks *** is dirty and feels guilty doing it? (maniwala kayo meron ganyan)

What if the girl doesnt enjoy *** and thinks it's a chore or a duty to the husband?

What if the girl just lays there and does nothing and the husband does all the work? Here's worse --- total lights out, under the sheets, lays there, no reaction.

I can hear the girls' reactions now "Baket? Ano ba dapat?!" haha

------------------------------------------

Applies to women too.

What if the guy cant satisfy you?

What if the guy finishes too early all the time?

What if the guy is impotent?

There are lots of what ifs.

-------------------------------------------

Ya sure, there things more important than physical intimacy in a relationship. But problems in the bedroom can affect things outside the bedroom.

[u2ykins]

Ya there are apples way up high on the tree nga...

And they think they are way much better than the apples low down...

They talk about the lower apples "Eeeew, ang cheap nila!"

But the lower apples dont care. The lower apples get their boys, they get pregnant, then get dumped.

The higher apples think "See what happened to them? Cheap kasi nila. Di tayo cheap. That wont happen to us."

But the lower apples dont care. Life goes on. They have their babies, they raise their babies... years pass... the kids bring much happiness to the lower apples...

The higher apples are still where they are... high up in the tree... they get ripe with age... they get so ripe they just fall off the tree.

Now boys notice them on the ground... but dont bother to pick them coz they are no longer fresh looking...

hehehe

+1 here. very well said. marami talagang ganyan. those apple on top of the tree ay iyong mga masyadong mataas ang standard sa pagpili ng makakasama. mostly pintasera but at the end kinakain nila ang kanilang salita and pride. sori kung may tinamaan but it's true.

[ginny_woolf]

Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Boys don't want to reach for the good apples because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead they get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them when in fact they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy, the one who will risk everything, who's grave enough to climb all the way up tp the top of the tree.

Beautiful.

[LadyRider]

Ideally, if you could wait after marriage, mas maganda sana kase yun naman ang essence ng "honeymoon" yung physical intimacy.

Pero sa mga panahon ngayon, lalu na sa exposure ng kabataan sa "*** education", at sa mga napapanood sa media, no doubt na mangyayari at mangyayari ang physical intimacy before marriage. Sad but true.

Kaya nga tama rin nga yung sinasabi nating, "Pag ginawa mo ang isang bagay, ginusto mo yon. Dapat handa kang tanggapin at harapin ang kakalabasan ng ginawa mo."

" God gave us the gift of choice. It is up to us to use it wisely! "

[Lucius]

So in a relationship, pag ang girl pumayag that means gusto nyo talaga kami? But doesn't necessarily mean na love nyo kami right?

[froshie1]

if you can tell your sons/daughters (or future sons/daughters) that it's ok to do it before marriage hehehe then so be it! hintayin ninyong magkaanak kayo. kung ok, sige pards walang problema :D yan lang usapan dyan.

Mabilis kasing sabihin na ok eh, hintayin ninyong magkaanak kayo.

[shadow]

You still haven't answered my question regarding how you define or determine ***ual compatibility.

Anyway, if I were a young adult male again, I would still wait until the honeymoon before becoming physically intimate with my partner because that is the way I was brought up. My mother taught me the value of patience and respect for the opposite ***. I had crushes in high school and I dated girls in college, but I never fantasized about having *** with them. I worked on our friendship first, watched movies with them, brought them to their home after school, talked until the sun went down, ate meals together, learned what they were like as persons, not as *** objects.

Because essentially, the lustful desire to have *** before marriage, IMO, is rooted in the mistaken belief that people are tools to be used instead of living beings created in God's image who should be respected. It's like needing to test drive a car before buying it to find out how the suspension and handling are. However, spouses are not like cars that you can trade in or junk once they no longer suit you.

My girlfriend (the woman who eventually became my spouse) and I went to Mass together. I ate at their house and talked with her parents and siblings more often than I brought her out on dates. We asked what each other thought about having kids, about work, about old age, about discipline, about the future. We exchanged boxes full of love notes and letters --and not just the wishy-washy kind, but the kind where a person bares his soul and makes himself vulnerable to a trusted other. I stood vigil beside her when she went on 48 hour duties as a medical intern. I found out her favorite foods, her favorite music and other things she liked, so that I could make her happy with small tokens of affection. I sacrificed for her, a concept that I find is getting more and more uncommon in this self-centered age.

if I may asked what circa are we talking about here? I mean your teenage years? hehehhe

What if your GF is a virgin and she says that she wants to keep it until after marriage? Is that okay with guys? Kasi I have a guy friend who said that he won't marry a girl until he knows that they are ***ually compatible (which I guess means that he should sleep with her first)

I will respect her decision and belief.....

Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Boys don't want to reach for the good apples because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead they get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them when in fact they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy, the one who will risk everything, who's grave enough to climb all the way up tp the top of the tree.

I love to eat good apples...hehehehe

as to the topic what if my daughter/son do it? I wouldn't know it I'm sure until they have done it....bakit yun first time niyo ba sinabi niyo sa parents niyo na gagawin niyo na yun? you decided on your own diba?

[mikey177]

hhmm the situation is not based on lust kse if it was, like some of the responses here dami sideline dyan. im shying away from it kse its not what i want. i would want to share that intimacy with my gf and no one else.

So if you want to share your intimacy with only your girlfriend, why can't you wait to do it until after you are married?

Again, you still haven't clarified how you determine "***ual compatibility." Better yet, could you give us instances when you could say that you are "***ually incompatible" with someone? Ano ba ito, yung tipong 6'5" yung lalaki tapos 4'11" lang yung babae?

if I may asked what circa are we talking about here? I mean your teenage years?

What difference does it make if I was born in an earlier generation? Morality does not change --only the values that people adhere to does. Before we accept these values, we must sincerely ask ourselves if they will lead us closer to what is true and holy, and not just whether they make us feel good physically.

[Flagg]

...I love to eat good apples...hehehehe

Best for apple pie = grandma apples. :rofl:

...as to the topic what if my daughter/son do it? I wouldn't know it I'm sure until they have done it....bakit yun first time niyo ba sinabi niyo sa parents niyo na gagawin niyo na yun? you decided on your own diba?

Ako may anak me. OK lang sakin whatever decision niya. Early in his/her life palang, brainwash ko na sya about responsibility.

They must not be thinking that any act is forbidden, lalo na when it is easily within their power to commit the act.

Rather, they should be thinking of their responsibility and consequences of the act. Just like me noon. Kaya, I had my good times, and also, when I became a daddy, ready na ready na ako at the time. Parang have your cake and eat it, too.

[ab_initio]

If you were my son or daughter, the advice I would give you is to wait until after you are married before you physically consumate your union. This is because I believe in the sanctity of ***ual intercourse --that it is a sublime expression of the love of a man and woman and of their "becoming one" in the eyes of God.

If you're still dating or engaged, then be content with holding hands and kissing (hindi yung torrid kissing ha)... kissing that will not lead you into temptation.

I proposed three times to my spouse before she said "Yes." I respected her decision and I waited for her because I was sure she was the one and only woman I wanted to share my life with.

****

As to the first part of your question, on whether physical intimacy is important in a relationship, the answer is yes. However, intimacy exists on many levels and can be expressed in many ways. A tender hug when your partner is feeling gloomy can lift her spirits more than a quicky in a motel room. A short note or a gift to remind her that you love her will do more to prove your sincerity than going all the way before you are even married.

Wow! Well said po. May anak kayo Sir?

[nostalgia]

Yes and no. Yes, if it will make your relationship better and stronger. No, if this will be just the foundation of your relationship and reason why you stick with one another. If the latter part, is your reason, then you and you're partner are like fubus na lang. For me, I think this kind of relationship, walang papatunguhan to.

[_Cathy_]

Wait until marriage. The anticipation makes it better.