nanggugulo na ex-husband

[artpogi]

okay I need your inputs on this situation.

I have a female friend who has been separated from her husband for a little over a year now. The reason why they separated was because he was a "sugalero". The guy was kicked out of his job dahil naka dispalko ng pera and AFAIK has a pending case against him and also meron yata yung guy na "departure hold order" from the Bureau of Immigration. The guy also beats up my friend when they were still together.

Kahit hiwalay na sila, pumupunta pa din yung guy dun sa bahay ng babae at nanggugulo. Kinukunan sya ng pera and lately lang kinuha ng guy yung cell phone ng friend ko, kesyo kung ano-ano ang dahilan.

My friend and her family can't do anything dahil sa takot. Halos puro sila babae sa family, father nya may sakit, kapatid nyang lalaki eh mga bata pa.

Pinayuhan ko yung friend ko na ipa-blotter nya sa pulis yung mga threats nung lalaki. Lately the guy has been threatening her with bodily harm, kesyo papatayin sya kapag nakipag relasyon yung friend ko sa iba, this was heard by my friends family, AFAIK.

I've been trying to convince my friend about the police blotter thingy.

My question is how effective ba yung police blotter as deterent sa mga ganung situation?

Kung malaman ba ng guy na ipina-blotter sya ng family ng friend ko, do you think that this will give my friends family some respite from the guys' panggugulo?

Naaawa ako sa friend ko, and hindi naman ako pwede maki-alam. Gusto ko na nga mag suggest ng extra-judicial means eh, pero pinipigilan ko lang sarili ko.

Any other way you can share in handling/dealing with this situation?

Thanks very much

[Josh0027]

Mahirap yan kung ikaw pa mismo ang magpapablotter. Althought that's the most common and legal way you could tell your friend to go to the barangay and ask for help. Extreme case would be hire some goons and beat the hell out of the guy. Joke! :p

Nasa kanila kasi ang final decision pero best nga i-pablotter na or tawag na tulong sa barangay. So ano kung sasaktan niya friend mo? Sino unang puwede suspect? Kung may kapamilya sila na lalaki na puwede samahan sila more the better and peace of mind. Most of the time kung sino ang malakas magbanta at maghamon and siya mismo mga duwag once may matapatan sila.

Do all means to help her out but dont overstep. Lowlifes like those should be taught a hard lesson.

[Josh0027]

Kung may kakilala kayo na police or nbi better report and ask for help.

[yapoy86]

nangyari na sa tita ko yan ganyan.. yung asawa nya nangugulo dito sa amin at pilit na hinahanap yung mag-anak nya kasi nilayasan sya gawa ng sugalero din at nakakasakit na sa mga anak nya dito sa amin nag punta yung pamilya at dito muna nagtago so nung pumunta yung asawa nya dito may dala pang pulis kasi nag reklamo pala sya ng kidnapping ayun nagreklamo din kami sa pulis at village security.. hindi sya umubra muntik pa sya ang makulong...

the best way is get the assistance of the police... blotter muna at sa susunod na pumunta eh tawagan yung police mag reresponde naman yan mga yan... or if you have a lawyer you can file a case para hindi makalapit sa kanya yung mokong na yun

[impulzz]

well a police blotter will help if they go to court, para may record laht, she should file a barangay or police blotter, so anything happens in the future she has proof that he indeed has threatened her.

[yebo]

1.) do your friend a favor, ikaw na mag-hire ng goons and make sure he can barely walk for weeks after the event. the closer he gets to a near-death experience the better. bullies like him are in truth cowards. make sure he knows the reason why he is being given the treatment, and that any move that is threatening on his part will result into something much much worse. siguro naman merong mga tambay sa kanto malapit sa bahay ng friend mo ano. isang case ng malamig lang yan e.

2.) if you want legal, first go to the women's desk of the local police station to file a complaint. dami pwede ikaso e - assault with battery, grave threats, robbery (he took her cel phone). get help from a lawyer at the PAO (female lawyer para mas mabagsik sa ganyang kaso). pag-na-warrant of arrest yan at syempre wala sya pera so wala pang-bail, e di lagot ang wetpu nyan sa city jail. make sure the arrest happens on a friday night (no chance for bail until monday hahaha!) pag labas nya sa city jail buntis na pwet nya.

[Jun aka Pekto]

It's good to see would-be good samaritans. But, tread carefully when getting involved with a woman and her estranged hubby. Crimes of passion are notoriously unpredictable especially when desperation from either of them kick in.

[carlocks]

It's good to see would-be good samaritans. But, tread carefully when getting involved with a woman and her estranged hubby. Crimes of passion are notoriously unpredictable especially when desperation from either of them kick in.

i agree. i have a female friend w/ the same situation. yes napa-blotter nya un ex nya but eventually ang friend ko ang nakakulong w/ her so called "guy friend nya na tumulong sa kanya. napatunayan kasi nun ex-husband nya na may relasyon un ex-wife nya dun sa guy kaya kinasuhan nya ng adultery. unfortunately, 4yrs na sila nakakulong ngayon pati yun bf nya na married din pala. tsk..tsk..tsk...

be careful lang sa pagtulong.

[Galactus]

A blotter is pretty useless, and won't guarantee any future harassment. But it can help strengthen the case againt the malefactor, in case a case is filed in court.

Best bet, IMO, would be to engage investigative TV shows like Bitag, XXX or Imbestigador. Para sila na makipag-coordinate sa pulis kung sakali. Also, baka tamaan ng hiya yung salarin at di na magpakita.

[mbeige]

If your friend has the means to leave the country, tell her to do so. Since her ex has a departure hold order I don't think he'll be able to follow. Maluwag ngayon ang USCIS.

Yan ang mahirap sa buhay sa Pinas, you can't really trust on the legal system to protect you. Kapag nangyari yan dito, for sure kulong na yung lalaki.

My sister had the unfortunate experience of being in the same boat, but less harshly. The A-hole was physically hurting her, and I'm in no physical condition to go up against him (he's bigger) so I called the police. Now they have his name and the next mistake he does he'll land in jail. We were lucky to have level headed relatives and decided it's in the best interest of their boy to just separate. Now they take turns taking care of the boy but my sister has no intentions of getting back, obviously.

However you can probably just advise her, like Pekto said I would tread very cautiously for you not to get caught in between. Baka sabihin pa ng lalaki na ikaw ang bago niyang lover. Alam mo naman ang mga ganyang tao.

[artpogi]

guys, thanks for all the inputs and word of cautions, maraming salamat.

Ang huling balita ko ay inilapit ng friend ko yung problem nya dun sa friend nila na konsehal sa area nila, that was yesterday, I don't know yet kung anong napag-usapan, but she said na kahapon yata ay pinuntahan ng konsehal yung lalaki para kausapin, or something like that.

The other night inabangan yung friend ko sa babaan ng sasakyan and the A-hole was trying to drag her to some place because he wanted to talk to her but my friend had enough of him and was able to run to their house, it was quite late at night na daw and wala na masyado tao sa kalye. The following morning that was when my friend talked to the konsehal.

I'll keep you updated on this matter. I will also print this tread for her to read.

* Bro. Yebo - yang first suggestion mo eh matagal ko na naisip, pero gaya nga ng sabi ng mga kasami natin dito, mahirap na. That will probablly be the last solution. Hopefully it won't come to that, but I wouldn't mind seeing that A-hole eating dirt.

Again many thanks to you guys and keep the suggestions coming, thanks.

[shadow]

I think police blotter is pretty much useless, parang records of sort lang...

the best thing to do is go the court and file an temporary or permanent protection order...

[morrissey_05]

first step is to consult a lawyer. there are a lot of women's groups willing to extend legal help to women in situations like this. unfortunately, i cant name one right now. research na lang bro.

[shadow]

gabriella?

[fourtheboys96]

blotter na lang muna sa brgy then sa pulis.

tapos kung wala naman sila anak, annulment na. yun nga lang mejo magastos at ilang taon din ang proseso lalo na kung wala ka kilala sa lawyer.