My friend’s love dilemma

**sHoCkAbSoRbEr** · December 28th, 2003 10:19 PM

I have a friend who has been steady with his boyfriend for almost 10 years. They’re relationship was okay until last September when my friend felt like her bf was so distant. She started doubting him. But the bf says nothing about it. He told my friend he loves her so much.

Since my friend already has this weird intuition, she did everything in order to know what’s really going on with her bf. She discovered that her bf is having some kind of an MU relationship with another girl.

The dilemma now here is that my friend’s bf told her that he loves her so much but he is attracted to another girl, his classmate. It has been months since it started.

My friend broke up with his bf last Friday although, my friend really loves his bf so much. That's why my friend is totally depressed at the moment. The bf also told my friend that he loves her still and that she fits his future. But still attracted to someone else, he’s somewhat confused.

My friend learned that the other girl was the one who is initiating petty conversations with her bf then everything follows. The other girl even texted the bf na magpalipas na lang daw ng traffic sa house nila and she’ll make ihaw tilapia daw for him. The hell with that girl!? Is this normal???

**OTEP** · December 28th, 2003 10:23 PM

Itanong natin sa mga nakakatanda nating kapatid dito sa Tsikot. :D

**sHoCkAbSoRbEr** · December 28th, 2003 10:27 PM

I mean is it okay that my friend accept his bf again when he comes back? Coz I know my friend really loves her bf, uh, I mean, her ex more than so much...

**OTEP** · December 28th, 2003 10:37 PM

Admittedly, may niloko na din ako noong araw (1st year med ata ako nun). She really had a hard time accepting me even as a friend afterwards. Kailan lang ulit kami nag-usap (3rd year na kami). What I'm saying is it is not impossible pero mahirap esp. when you have the thought in the back of your head that he can just do it again like how he did the first time.

Mahirap magtiwala sa mga ganyang klaseng lalake.

**krscla** · December 29th, 2003 12:01 AM

IMHO, hindi yung babae na nangaakit ang may problema kundi yung bf ng friend mo mismo. Kahit naman maghubad yung girl sa harap nung bf eh wala namang mangyayari o magiging problema kung hindi niya ito papansinin. Magsasawa din yun.

Kung babalik man, nasa sa kanya na yun kung tatanggapin niya at kailangang siya lang ang magdesisyon tungkol dito.

**chengkie** · December 29th, 2003 12:22 AM

i agree with krscla... though hindi tlaga diperensya nun bf nun friend mo yun kase it's like normal for a guy to get attracted but not to the point of cheating. yes, he's confused pero that's not enough reason to not know what to do at sabihin "bahala na". it's also not advisable to tell your friend to wait & accept the guy back coz he might fool around again but it's still her decision. what friends could do is just be there for your friend in case something good or bad happens.

btw, newbie akish dito and this is my first post! God speed!! =)

**sHoCkAbSoRbEr** · December 29th, 2003 07:08 AM

But the other girl already knows that the bf already has a gf. She should somehow keep distant from the guy. Lahat halos ng mga classmates nila pinagsasabihan na yung girl na layuan yung bf. The bf even tried to avoid the girl, yes he did because my friend told him so. Pero lumalapit pa din yung isang babae at tinatanong nya, galit ka ba iniiwasan mo ba ako? My friend just don't know what's with this girl. Nagt-take advantage siguro yung girl kasi alam nyang long distance relationship sila nung friend ko tapos medyo nahihirapan pa yung bf sa studies nya.

Do you think the bf still loves my friend? And is it possible na magkabalikan sila? And what would you suggest to say and advice given a chance that you can talk to the other girl?

**Djerms** · December 29th, 2003 08:29 AM

Shock,
There's really a point in a relationship wherein doubts come in. Minsan kasi both parties think that what they do in the relationship becomes a routine nalang. Baka naman hindi din nafi-feel nung guy ung love nung girl (your friend?). Sometimes its easy to say that you love someone without knowing that the person who you love does'nt feel it.

Nangyari na rin sakin yan. I was so tired of always fixing our relationship and always apologizing even if I know that its not my fault alone (just to end things). I kept on waiting for the girl to show me the initiative that she's still interested in our relationship...

**kimpOy** · December 29th, 2003 09:16 AM

simple lang yan sabihin mo sa kaibigan mo, yan ang tamang oras para magtaray, dont show na depress siya, mag pa party pa siya kamo,

tandaan mo, maaring pang gawin ng lalake niya yan in the future,
kung BREAK KUNG BREAK!!!

**sHoCkAbSoRbEr** · December 29th, 2003 09:21 AM

Djerms,
Yeah, that routine thing became their issue as well. The bf told my friend that nagsasawa na sya sa routine na nangyayari. Sure thing, my friend was hurt. Although, minsan pagsasabihin ng friend ko pag pupuntahan sya ng bf nya na wala naman silang gagawin coz walang magandang movie, then sasabihin ng bf sa friend ko, eh gusto lang kita makita. So that was a lie! How could he do that to my friend...

**sHoCkAbSoRbEr** · December 29th, 2003 09:27 AM

Thanks, kimpOy. I'll tell that to her. Pero in times like this, it is the first time that I see my friend so depressed to hell. I know she's the type na mayabang, mataray, mapanlait, walang pakialam sa mundo, sobrang confident. But this thing, I dont know bakit hindi nya malagpasan. Oh well, it has only been 3 days since they broke up...

I know the bf did the wrong thing but is it advisable that my friend wait for his coming back?

Pwede pa nga mangyari yan in the future, and that's a fact. Pero prayers do wonders. I hope and I believe.

**sHoCkAbSoRbEr** · December 29th, 2003 09:29 AM

Is it proper that my friend talk to the other girl and ask her to keep distant?

**Djerms** · December 29th, 2003 10:07 AM

No, I think thats not proper. Kung asawa na niya yung guy pwede pa. If the guy really loves your friend, then he will realize naman eh. The problem is kung gusto pa nung friend mo makipagbalikan by the time the guy wants her back. Help your friend nalang by keeping her busy. Go to parties, DC.org EBs hehe, etc. Just keep her busy and let time fly for her para hindi siya ma-depress. I think in time masosolve din ang problem.

**explorer** · December 29th, 2003 10:20 AM

bro, pinakamanagadang gawin ng friend mo...pabayaan nalang nya. kung mahal talaga ng guy yung friend mo, babalik yan. believe me...wag nga lang umasa ng husto yung friend mo. dapat mag entertain din sya ng suitors. baka kasi akala ng friend mo yung ex-bf nya yung pinaka gusto nya pero kung makakita sya ng ibang guy baka mag bago narin isip nya.

**gretzy** · December 29th, 2003 10:31 AM

i think it is normal to be attracted to someone else when ur in a relationship. but u should know ur limits. so if the guy really loves ur friend he'll come back with a made up mind that his thing with that girl is just one of those "attractions", then ur friend MAY accept him if she has no doubts anymore.

**wildthing** · December 29th, 2003 11:22 AM

I would agree to gretz....attraction is normal....if you love somebody SET THEM FREE, IF THEY GO BACK, THEN YOU KNOW THEY'RE YOURS....kung bf/gf pa lang, wala akong nakikitang problem....nung binata pa ako, ang motto namin sa panliligaw ng ng may bf...."e ano ngayon, bf pa lang naman ah!"....now kung may asawa na, iba ng usapan yun.

Ang tutuong relationship becomes sweeter and better as they last....as such kung nagiging bland ang relationship habang tumatagal....then there is a good chance na hindi rin iyun tatagal pagnaging mag-asawa na sila......better end it early.

my 2 cents.

**roninblade** · December 29th, 2003 11:22 AM

yeah, i agree. i also have a friend who had a boyfriend for ten years. the guy was attracted to another girl and broke it up with my friend. after a couple of months he came back to my friend realizing that she really is the love of his life. she forgave him and took him back and after a year they got married.

the guy probably just needed one last fling before getting married.

Originally posted by gretzy
i think it is normal to be attracted to someone else when ur in a relationship. but u should know ur limits. so if the guy really loves ur friend he'll come back with a made up mind that his thing with that girl is just one of those "attractions", then ur friend MAY accept him if she has no doubts anymore.

**fierari** · December 29th, 2003 01:26 PM

yup ganyan di yung opismate ko dati. nag break then balikan after that kasalan happily married na sila

**sHoCkAbSoRbEr** · December 29th, 2003 01:32 PM

explorer, that was what I told my friend, pabayaan na nya pero she sometimes couldn't control herself to think about it. Kasi naman, almost a decade na din sila. Pero sana nga bumalik na yung guy. Hesitant din sya tumanggap ng mga suitors, eh. Ewan ko ba dun.

gretzy, normal nga yung attraction but the thing was, hindi nakapag-control yung guy. He admitted to my friend na hindi nya na alam ang difference ng love sa infatuation.

wildthing, set them free nga. But you know what the guy told my friend, bakit hindi mo ako pinaglaban?. Duh?

roninblade, that was a nice and inspiring story. I'll tell that to my friend. Pero cyempre, wag pa din umasa.

I'll also tell my friend that it's so nice to have lotsa friends (like you guys). Wala kasi sya mashado kaibigan. Naka-focus lang sya lagi sa work, family and bf. Yun lang ang mundong ginagalawan nya kaya ngayon she's having a hard time coping up...

**OTEP** · December 29th, 2003 01:55 PM

Aminin mo na kasing ikaw iyan. hehehehe. Para mas matulungan ka namin. :D

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My friend’s love dilemma

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