Dealing with my Anger after Wife Confessed Affair

[_Cathy_]

Ask a woman how many guys she's slept with multiply it by 2. Ask a man how many women he's slept with divide it by 2 then you'll get the real answer. (I'm not accusing your wife of sleeping with the guy though) They met 8 times in two weeks? That's almost every other day. Why the desire to meet each other so often? I don't mean to add fuel to the fire but people who have affairs don't meet up to "have coffee" especially if they have been amorous in their text messages. That just builds up the heat in my opinion. So just imagine what happens when they see each other in person. The mere fact that they met each other means that they were ready to take it to the next level.

I still believe in saving the marriage though. I guess you just have to deal with your wife's character. Hopefully she'll have a change of heart.

[safeorigin]

i still believe in comebacks. if all efforts should fail, prepare for contingency plans. but imho, that's rather unthinkable for the wife to leave you since a)she confessed b)you are aware of the situation c)you have kids d)you are calm about it.

try to replace what should be a bitter treatment with sweetness. eventually, it's her conscience that will rule over her.

[angryhubby]

the guy is now my text mate, as I pretended to be a girl. what a jerk. in just his second message: text me if you need a bf.

this is terribly demeaning, but in a way, liberating. at least I know I'm not the lesser guy, by leaps and bounds. I just can't believe she fell for this dope. I must have really sucked as a husband.

I just don't have time now, but I will give full details when I have time. I have scheduled another talk with my wife tonight. I realized what she's doing is that she's good timing him with a new number.

I see light at the end of the tunnel.

[pitbullz]

be happy for her. at least she found a more passionate man. somebody who can give her what her husband can never give. and yes,she deserves somebody better you,on the other hand...should move on. and by the way things are going,you are better off being living single...nobody loses anything. she found what she wanted - attention and affection, you found what you needed - space and time for your career. see?

edit: its pointless clinging on to the relationship if you are not going to make it work anymore...be compassionate to her. dont keep her from whats making her happy.

[silver streak]

i cant help but say...this one i have to follow what happens tonight...
you say "...she's good timing him with a new number"? something tells me that the spouse is kinda bored/needed more attention and was carried away by some sweet-talking guy...ahhh, what talk can do...and talk could have been lacking in your house...
a lot of things to talk about between you and your partner...

[_Cathy_]

the guy is now my text mate, as I pretended to be a girl. what a jerk. in just his second message: text me if you need a bf.

this is terribly demeaning, but in a way, liberating. at least I know I'm not the lesser guy, by leaps and bounds. I just can't believe she fell for this dope. I must have really sucked as a husband.

Dude, what is wrong with you?!? You still think it's your fault? Why do you keep on blaming yourself and the other guy? Your wife IS the problem. It's a known fact that the guy is a scum bag so don't waste your time on him anymore. Instead, focus your investigation on your wife. I suggest you get a new sim and try flirting with her anonymously. See how she responds. Of course you have to this a few months after the issue had died down.

The guy is an a hole and your wife fell for him. I do not want to spell it out for you because it is painful but figure it out for yourself.

I realized what she's doing is that she's good timing him with a new number.

Is that supposed to be good news?!?

I see light at the end of the tunnel

The light at the end of the tunnel could very well be just a mirage.

[silver streak]

Dude, what is wrong with you?!? You still think it's your fault? Why do you keep on blaming yourself and the other guy? Your wife IS the problem.

The light at the end of the tunnel could very well be just a mirage.

and you suppose there is nothing wrong (not exactly "wrong" as in wrong) with the TS? the TS even acknowledged it. read again the first post of the TS. picture the situation the partners were into...

that could have led to the "emotional" relationship with the sweet-talking guy...perhaps TS can still remedy the situation...pero, sympre with his spouse cooperation, otherwise, hell breaks loose...

[AeonBlaire]

I've been in a similar situation before as far as trust is concerned, ayokong manulsol at hindi ko kilala personally yung wife, pero, kung may suspicious activities pa rin siya, lalo na yung outside the house, private investigator na dapat yan . Sa tingin ko lang, "marunong" yung wife...

[Jun aka Pekto]

What can a marriage counselor do about this? suggest and try to save the marriage for the sake of the kids? And the 15 or so years that they've spent together? IMO, you can't save a relationship if there's no more love or even a grain of trust. If the wife can't trust his husband then why would he even trust her back?

love+***+trust+faith = years of togetherness..

Marriage counselors can dig very deep into the problems facing the couple and can analyze things minutely right down to the *** techniques he/she loves and more often than not find a mutual solution. It's certainly way way better than the tsismis festival that is most forums.

Oh. Oh. Oh me. Oh my. Just how many are awaiting the next juicy details? **me blush and flash my eyelashes**

- Sorry. I know this is a serious matter. But, I can't help it. It sounds just like the gossip/sob stories I often hear my wife's friends gossiping about. And just like here, I tend to be a party pooper when I happen to drop in on their gossiping.

These things are best left to marriage counselors.

[ghosthunter]

The light at the end of the tunnel could very well be just a mirage.

Nope... it's the express train barreling down towards the soon-to-be ex-husband.