Dealing with my Anger after Wife Confessed Affair

[cablespy]

The problem is with the wife, not the wife's textmate.

If it's not that guy, it could be another.

Getting rid of the guy won't solve anything.

Dami pa naman ibang pwede maka textmate.

Mahilig kasi makipag textmate ung misis. Ang masama, na-i-in-love sa textmate.

Ano gagawin ni angryhubby? track down every guy his wife texts with?

The wife has to grow up.

She's an immature girl who makes patol any guy who can make her feel kilig... sa text.

--

U can't control the environment...

The wife doesnt live in a bubble.

Men will notice the wife, and there will be men who will desire the wife...

having a husband is no hindrance to some men.

some men actually make a career out of seducing married women.

Now, it all comes down to the wife.

Ano values nya?

Kahit 1,000 men pa ang liligaw sa kanya, if the wife is morally upright, di nya papatulan.

If the wife makes patol the first guy who comes along that makes her feel kilig, then her values are questionable.

U can't control the environment.

There's such a thing as marrying the wrong kind of woman.

A bit harsh but makes a lot of sense. Nasa wife nya talaga yun kung papatulan or hindi.

[angryhubby]

i highly recommend that you try to take your mind off of things for a while and drown your sorrows at Air Force One....

....sama kami

Ages ago, I would have said this is an excellent idea, but not today. There is a lot of good advice on the thread, and I apologize if I haven't acknowledged the individual posts. I will at some point.

I'm afraid I have to back off for a while due to another incident, and sort things out for myself, and then with her. To continue the metaphor, I have to make sure whether my house is still smoldering. The other guy is not the primary thing for me right now.

[daimengrui]

Good luck dude. Your family is your best option. Seek a parental advice. Don't listen to demon's whispers. Fix your family, think of the children.

[_Cathy_]

I couldn't agree more with ULS. The problem is your wife. You may change her sim, buy her a new phone, change your landline or even move to a new house to keep the guy from getting in touch with your wife BUT if it's your wife that decides to contact the guy then all your efforts would be in vain.

Show your wife that she cannot afford to lose you. Show your wife that she will be in big trouble should you leave her. Let's just see if this turns her world upside down and hopefully straighten her ways.

From a female perspective, I couldn't even fathom how housewives could even think of having an affair. Be it emotional or physical. For crying out loud, men work hard to provide for their families, instead of thinking how neglected they are when their husbands come home late from work, they should work on making things easier for their husbands. This makes my blood boil

[uls]

i don't get the logic of going after the guy.

pardon my harsh words...

pero kung malandi talaga ung babae, wala ka magagawa.

get rid of the guy?

she's just gonna meet other guys.

palitan ng SIM? ya sure...

kung memorize nya ung cell number ng guy?

Confiscate mo celphone ng wife?

makikitext lang yan sa friend or kapitbahay...

Gagamit ng landline or payphone sa labas para tawagan ung guy.

she can disappear for an hour or 2... quickie na yan.

--------

nasa babae yan.

meron nagpapatukso...

meron hindi nagpapatukso.

[rlp1099]

ok so we have an aggrieved party and one who's confessed indiscretion

clearly it takes 2 to tango and now you're both walking wounded

at its very core YOU sir will have to be the one to move forward
what moving forward means will be all up to you

depending on who you talk to moving forward will mean
-saving your marriage/turning the other cheek/swallowing your pride etc.
-cutting cleanly (difficult if you have kids but they'll always be your kids)
-doing a the Godfather part 1 on some poor losers ass

we're all capable of carving each others' heart out that much is a fact- sabi nila women are more devious when it comes to infidelity

cguro it may be best not to do anything muna- take stock of what you "have" and the healing will be up to you in the end

[alainroyce]

He must talk to her wife "Mano e Mano".. Ask her if she want to save their marriage stop the monkey business.. or else hiwalay ang puti sa de color...the most affected here is their kids..

[HyBrideVo]

i don't get the logic of going after the guy.

pardon my harsh words...

pero kung malandi talaga ung babae, wala ka magagawa.

get rid of the guy?

she's just gonna meet other guys.

palitan ng SIM? ya sure...

kung memorize nya ung cell number ng guy?

Confiscate mo celphone ng wife?

makikitext lang yan sa friend or kapitbahay...

Gagamit ng landline or payphone sa labas para tawagan ung guy.

she can disappear for an hour or 2... quickie na yan.

--------

nasa babae yan.

meron nagpapatukso...

meron hindi nagpapatukso.

+1 on this.

i have to agree with uls here. walang kakamot ng makati kung walang kumakati...

i remember a similar occasion with one of my close friends' folks having the same issue. They're in the same house but now lives in NYC and both of 'em have their own 'kalaguyo/kabits'. And same thing si babae ang naghanap ng attention sa iba but before that pinagbintangan muna nya si lalake na niloloko sya without any evidence/facts to her assumption..Ooppss no more further details

BTT:
What can a marriage counselor do about this? suggest and try to save the marriage for the sake of the kids? And the 15 or so years that they've spent together? IMO, you can't save a relationship if there's no more love or even a grain of trust. If the wife can't trust his husband then why would he even trust her back?

love+***+trust+faith = years of togetherness..

[170kphlang]

bihira na ang taong kagaya mo na kalmado humarap sa mga ganyang situation

kung sakin nangyari yan, nakupow! nagawa ko na siguro yung sa mtv ng kanta ng urbandub na Evidence.

[ghosthunter]

I'm afraid I have to back off for a while due to another incident, and sort things out for myself, and then with her. To continue the metaphor, I have to make sure whether my house is still smoldering. The other guy is not the primary thing for me right now.

I have been in the same boat. I even discovered details about the affair by using hacked access in my ex-wife's celfone & email without her knowing. I tried to save the marriage but ended up being played the fool inspite of my efforts. All of my friends said I was too much of a "martyr". I still ended up kicking her out for what she did and continued doing. Your description of how she acted after you found out the affair sounded so familiar to me.

A marriage counselor (after talking with you & your wife) would help YOU assess if there is still anything left to save in your marriage or if you should start making "alternative" plans as early as now. In my case, it helped clear any doubt about what I should do. I have no regrets then and now.