12 Kinds Of *** Every Woman Needs To Have Before She Settles Down

[ghosthunter]

12 Kinds Of *** Every Woman Needs To Have Before She Settles Down

We're sick of all these so-called relationship experts telling ladies the way to snag a man is to keep it in your pants, er, skirt. Listen, you prisses, not only are we way too old to be virgins, but we sure as hell are glad we're not! Holding out for some kind of commitment only makes a gal feel like her vag is her primary value, not herself. Lame! And what about our desires? Doesn't that matter? Frankly, you have to test-drive some cars before you know which one you wanna buy, if you know what we mean. No matter what kind of *** you're into, there are certain experiences we think every woman needs to have before she settles down. Click through to see what ***y stuff we suggest you get around to before you decide to buy.



Foreigner ***
You can barely pronounce his name, but boy does he talk pretty. Perhaps you’re traveling, or he came to you. Either way, don’t let the chance to have a fling with a foreign hottie pass you by. Hey, it might just be your only chance to see an uncircumcised one.



“The One” ***
You thought he was, but he isn’t. He broke your heart and you wonder if you’ll ever have *** this good again. I promise, sister, when you do meet your match for reals, you’ll know this guy was a test of faith that made you (and your orgasms) stronger



Big D**K ***
You must hunt down and slay lay the mythical dragon penis. Otherwise, you’ll always wonder how big is too big. You’ll have that gasp moment when it’s revealed to you and then you get to remember what it’s like to be a virgin when he sticks it in. Afterward, you get to brag to your girlfriends. But, finally, you can put the fantasy that a huge manhood has magical powers to rest. It’s just a Johnson, attached to a man, like all the others. And sometimes that man is an even bigger prick.



Bad ***
The kind of *** so mortifying that you want to take a shower after, immediately. It’ll help you appreciate good *** and even mediocre *** when you have it.



Angry ***/Hate ***/Breakup ***
Whether you’re angry because he’s a Republican and you canvassed for Obama, or you're totally mad at your BF and want to call it off, anger is one potent aphrodisiac. It certainly starts the ***y time off with a bang! It’s like naked wrestling where everyone wins.



Rock Star ***
Who doesn't fantasize about being someone's muse? When you’re some guy's Penny Lane, you feel like a million ***y bucks. And then cheap, like, two seconds later. But it always makes for an interesting story! So go, be someone's inspiration ... in bed.



Booty ***
You should know if anal is your thing before you settle down. Test it out with someone you trust, preferably a mild-mannered sweetheart who is super gentle in the sack and who's also dispensable in case you don’t like it and never want to do it again. Because for dudes, once they pop, they can’t stop. And for some people, not getting any no-no factory action is a dealbreaker.


Girl On Girl Action
You don’t have to go all the way, but you have to at least kiss another girl. And it doesn’t count if you’re doing it for male attention; every liaison is best in private. There is a level of understanding yourself and your ***uality that comes from ***ing it up with another woman, no matter how straight you think you are.



Age Gap ***
Jump the age gap's bones. Bag a younger man and an older man. Especially when it comes to dudes, you have to comparison shop. I could make some sweeping generalizations here like your older man will lavish you with expensive gifts and attention, and the boy will have you screwing like bunnies, but in my experience that can be a load of bull. Test out men at every age, and you might just be surprised by what you find out about guys in general.



Being A “Top”
Put the dom in dominate. Three words: woman on top. You totally dominate this ***ual experience. It’s you, in control, doing and getting what you want. Bonus points if it involves leather!



Can’t Keep It Up ***
Sometimes he drank too much whiskey; sometimes he just did it solo— whatever the reason, sometimes you can’t get him up for the night and you have to accept that. No hard feelings, no pun intended. You have to figure out how to handle your insecurity over the situation in a way that doesn’t make a man feel worthless. It happens to every dude. Let’s just be grateful all we ladies have to do is show up, spread ‘em, and party on!


Self Love
Sisters are doing it for themselves! There is nothing more empowering and easy to do when it comes to your pleasure. Masturbation is important for learning what you like and how to get all the way home. And it's extra fun to get the job done with a vibrating play thing. You just can't miss out on what technology has to offer your ladyflower! But with or without batteries, thanks to masturbation, you'll be able to help future partners give you what you want

source: 12 Kinds Of *** Every Woman Needs To Have Before She Settles Down

[CVT]

The article above made me search for Penny Lane.....

I am mortified!....

I love these Beatles...JPGR..... :naughty2:

What is Penny Lane by the Beatles about??? - Yahoo! Answers

Best Answer - Chosen by Voters

there is a penny lane in liverpool. but that is not what the song is about. it is about *** and how everyone is into *** but denies it outwardly. lets take a look at the lyrics...

In Penny Lane there is a barber showing photographs
Of every head he's had the pleasure to know.
And all the people that come and go
Stop and say hello.
(ok this one is pretty clear. the "barber" has had many lovers)

On the corner is a banker with a motorcar,
The little children laugh at him behind his back.
And the banker never wears a mack
In the pouring rain, very strange.
(so the banker does a girl who gets around and doesnt know it. the banker doesnt wear a mack (rain coat)- condom reference)

Penny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes.
There beneath the blue suburban skies
I sit, and meanwhile back

In penny Lane there is a fireman with an hourglass
And in his pocket is a portrait of the Queen.
He likes to keep his fire engine clean,
It's a clean machine.
(masturbation reference)

Penny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes.
A four of fish and finger pies
In summer, meanwhile back
(a four of fish and finger pies? hello- fingering a lady)

Behind the shelter in the middle of a roundabout
The pretty nurse is selling poppies from a tray
And tho' she feels as if she's in a play
She is anyway.
(basically the "nurse" is a crack whore.)

In Penny Lane the barber shaves another customer,
We see the banker sitting waiting for a trim.
And then the fireman rushes in
From the pouring rain, very strange.
(ok im not quite sure what this one is about)

Penny lane is in my ears and in my eyes.
There beneath the blue suburban skies
I sit, and meanwhile back.
Penny lane is in my ears and in my eyes.
There beneath the blue suburban skies,
Penny Lane.

basically, the thing is full of british slang for ***ual acts while the song seems overtly about this pleasant suburban life. the juxtaposition of these is intentional.

I just read your other post where you say that you are looking for a beatles song for an english project to analyze. If this is college, absolutely go with my translation. It is an A. if it is highschool or lower do their translation and mention ***ual undertones without going into details. I was an english major in college, i know. Oh and by the way condoms have been used since ancient egypt and the modern condom was alive and well in the late 60s. I say crack whore not literaly meaning crack, poppies are used to create a number of drugs. also, i was raised in a pleasant suburb.

oh and one last thing- michaelfwilson1359 the account was created today and only answered one question. interesting. i wonder if this is a person from liverpool or one of these misinterpretters trying to discredit my british slang claim

18.9K:smooch:

[Retz]

by reading the thread title alone, alam na agad na si sir GH ang thread starter.

[uls]

source: 12 Kinds Of *** Every Woman Needs To Have Before She Settles Down

how about the never-gonna-have-premarital-***-but-will- talk-about-***-all-night-everynight kind of ***

[CVT]

by reading the thread title alone, alam na agad na si sir GH ang thread starter.

Duh???

18.9K:smooch:

[uls]

OT

since na-bring up ni CVT

Kate Hudson's character Penny Lane from the movie Almost Famous



this is my favorite scene

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Qn3tel9FWU]Almost Famous - Tiny Dancer - YouTube[/ame]

[Penny_Lane]

I just happen to love the song Penny Lane and the film Almost Famous. It's by Cameron Crowe, one of my favorite directors (singles, jerry maguire).

There's nothing wrong about talking about *** with someone close to you, it's educational kaya.

12 kinds of *** Every Woman Should Have to Transform Herself Into a SLUT

[light2light]

Retz, bro, reading the title alone had me: naisip ko na si GH ang starter nito. Na-fe-fell mo ba vibes ni GH? hehe

[_Cathy_]

Menyek? GH (best mod ever) :peace:

[5Speed]

err... any comments ladies?


GH, how about the male part of the same topic???? hehehe