'Ang yabang mo na!' and other things balikbayans are told

[_Cathy_]

Kawawa naman mga balikbayan na ganito magisip mga kaibigan at kamag anak

Why do we call balikbayans "mayabang"? Even before they say a word, the difference in their attire, mannerisms, or speech suddenly brands balikbayans as boastful.

You came home one day after a few years of living abroad. After the welcome hugs came the comments of who you've become now that you're back from another land.The person who spent time away will always be measured against those who stayed put, who are only eager to volunteer their observations. Here are some of the common ones:

1) "Iba ka na, nagbago ka na." (You're different now, you've changed.)

At first, you're put on the defensive. This is your old barkada you're talking to, and you know that deep inside you're still the same.

But it's true. You have changed. How can you not when you've spent a few thousand days and nights inhaling a different culture and speaking a different language? Uprooted from family and your own culture, you've learned to adapt and assimilate, losing some habits and gaining new ones. Of course you can't be exactly the way you were before you left.

You've toughened up. At first you whined about missing your country until you realized that there was no one to whine to. Then you stopped whining, thinking that if you didn't speak it, your longing must not be true. After that you could only build on that sadness and make a life of your own.

2) "Ang yabang mo na." (You're a braggart now.)

Last month, the pop star Charice felt that she was not as appreciated by her fellow Filipinos the way she is abroad.

"Napapagkamalan akong mayabang. Dahil ba nakatungtong [ako] ng ibang bansa?" ("They've mistaken me for a braggart. Is it because I've been to another country?")

Why do we call balikbayans "mayabang" (braggart)?

Even before they say a word, the difference in their attire, mannerisms, or speech suddenly brands balikbayans as boastful. Is it simply an observation of what one has versus what someone else doesn't?

Of course they're dressed differently - do you expect them to wear the same clothes from ten years ago? Of course they speak differently - would you sound the same after being forced to communicate in a different language every day for many years?

3) "Libre naman dyan." (How about a treat?)

Why is there an assumption that all balikbayans are vomiting cash? Normally one would feel shame asking someone else for a freebie, but this all seems abandoned when asking for handouts from a returning Pinoy.

A friend once came home and met up with twenty of his high school classmates for dinner. At the end of the meal, they all expected him to foot the bill. He was offended. He paid for his own food and left.

Most balikbayans are generous with what they've acquired, but the assumption that he or she will always pull out his wallet makes them feel used. Everybody had jobs before he arrived. Why is everyone expecting a free ride when he is home?


4) "Ang yaman mo na! Hindi ka na maabot!" (You're so rich now. You're unreachable.)

They even call you a sugar daddy because you appear to have some disposable income. They say you are "hard to reach" because they believe that your achievements have changed you into someone who has forgotten their past.

Working overseas comes with a lot of challenges which definitely change one's outlook, but that doesn't mean that one views themselves higher because they've been away.

5) “Palibhasa nakapag-abroad ka na...” (Just because you've been abroad...)

It isn't unusual for one's each and every action to be credited to his or her time abroad. If one has a strong opinion, it's mistaken for being aggressive since they've been away. If they share something they've learned, they're said to be showing off their skills. If they disagree with family members, they’re said to be disrespectful.

Everyone learns something new with every experience, even if one stayed in their homeland. It's not necessary to think of an overseas experience as a negative. It's a sign of insecurity when one penalizes another for what they themselves don't have or didn’t experience.

6) “Bil'mo'ko nun / Ay, ang damot mo na” (Buy me this / Oh you're selfish now)

I once received a call from a distant relative I've never spoken to, who in the same breath as his hello, asked me to buy him a FDNY hat.

Many Pinoys I've met abroad avoid calls from relatives because they're always about money. Requests for help for medical expenses and school are understood, but it isn't unusual to hear requests for cellphones, sports apparel, the latest fashions and scents.

It's easy to forget that foreign workers themselves can't even be updated on latest styles because they are too busy earning a living and saving for the future.

Everyone is capable of earning a living no matter where they are. It's not an OFW's obligation to subsidize everyone else, and being unable to provide for everyone's needs does not make them selfish.

This coming holiday season, we will see relatives taking a break from their lives abroad. Try to refrain from comments and assumptions about a life you've never had.

Overseas Pinoys help when they can, but being abroad where there may be better opportunities does not mean there are no financial struggles. Wearing different clothes or having a different outlook does not make OFWs mayabang (braggart) or hindi na maabot (unreachable). Not raining money on everyone does not make them madamot (selfish).'
– Rappler.com

[ess]

Note that you don't have to be a long term OFW to get that treatment.
Kahit na mag business trip ka for 3 days, you'll get a lot of (3) and (6).

[lowslowbenz]

Dapat magkaroon ulit ng isang SC thread eh ..... :D

[_Cathy_]

Note that you don't have to be a long term OFW to get that treatment.
Kahit na mag business trip ka for 3 days, you'll get a lot of (3) and (6).

I totally don't get number 3 and 6. When we have balikbayan friends and relatives, we treat them out and buy them local stuff. Balikbayans are considered as guests so the hosts should take care of them.

I do have an officemate that asked me for an expensive item (shoes) as pasalubong when I went abroad. I said is he kidding, ang sagot ba naman "ang damot mo naman" WOW! This same person that gives me problems at work. Tamad kasi.

[chua_riwap]

Meron pa nga 6 months lang sa Canada, spokening $ na.

Hirap na magtagalog......

[xninjax]

Meron pa nga 6 months lang sa Canada, spokening $ na.

Hirap na magtagalog......

Marami ganyan pag medyo tumagal na sa amerika. ayaw na magsalita kuno ng tagalog.

Pero nag natalisod/nsaktan.. bubulalas ng "ARAY" - bistado

[kik0matsing]

Bute saken minsan ako pa tinitreat nila heheh. Pero hinde mo din maiiwasan na hinde mag libre as long as kaya mo magbigay. . .

[ess]

Marami ganyan pag medyo tumagal na sa amerika. ayaw na magsalita kuno ng tagalog.

Pero nag natalisod/nsaktan.. bubulalas ng "ARAY" - bistado

Hindi "ARAY" ang nadidinig ko ... it's more of "AY P...."

[monty_GTV]

common na ugali ng nating mga pinoy yan, inggitero at pintasero

[rollyic]

nung last vacation ko niyaya ko yung mga barkada/kapitbahay ko ng inuman.
since alam ko laklakan sila kung uminom, empi light at red horse lang at maraming pulutan ang handa ko.
humirit yung isa...."wala bang black label or chivass regal dyan?"
sagot ko...."kasama ba kita nung more than 50 deg. at zero deg. cel. ang temperature sa pinanggalingang ko?"