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  1. Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    835
    #451

  2. Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    21,346
    #452
    bath tub........


  3. Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    26,770
    #453
    President Noynoy met with the Queen of England.

    He asked her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?"

    "Well," said the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."

    Pinoy frowned, and then asked, "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?"

    The Queen took a sip of tea. "Oh, thatís easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle."

    The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. "Please send Tony Blair in here, would you?"

    The former Prime Minister, Tony Blair, walked into the room and said, "Yes, your Majesty?"

    The Queen smiled and said, "Answer me this please, Tony, your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"

    Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answered, "That would be me."

    "Yes! Very good," said the Queen.

    Pinoy went back home to ask Paquito Ochoa, his executive secretary, the same question. "Pare, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. Itís not your brother and itís not your sister. Who is it?"

    "Iím not sure," said Ochoa. "Let me get back to you on that one..." He asked every one in his office, but no one could give him an answer. Finally, he ended up in the menís room and saw DPWH Secretary Babes Singson.

    Ochoa asked Singson, "Babes, can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and itís not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

    Singson replied, "Thatís easy, itís me!"

    Ochoa smiled, and said, "Thanks!" Then, he went back to speak with Noynoy. "Pare, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. Itís Babes Singson."

    Noynoy got up, stomped over to Ochoa and angrily yelled into his face, "No, you *****! Itís Tony Blair!"

    (Quoted from ROY ARCILLA, Malaya, 27 March 2012)

  4. Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    21,582
    #454
    ^ first joke like that has Erap and Obama as the main culprits.

  5. Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    835
    #455





  6. Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    835
    #456



  7. Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    26,770
    #457
    Beauitful lady wanted to marry a rich guy.

    snopes.com: Craigslist Gold Digger

  8. Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    835
    #458



  9. Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    1,948
    #459
    TOMAS: Pare, bago ang itak mo, ah?! Pahawak nga!
    HECTOR: Eto, pare! Kabibili ko lang niyan!
    TOMAS: Ang talim, pare!
    HECTOR: Oo! Kahahasa ko lang niyan, eh!
    TOMAS: Natatae ka ba, pare?
    HECTOR: Hindi, pare. Bakit?
    TOMAS: Tumae ka, pare! Kung hindi, tatagain kita!
    HECTOR: Huwag kang magbiro ng ganyan, pare!
    TOMAS: Hindi ako nagbibiro, pare! Hale, hubo! Tumae ka!
    HECTOR: (naghubo at nagpumilit tumae)
    TOMAS: Ano ka ba naman, pare?! Masyado kang seryoso! Binibiro lang naman kita!hahahaha
    HECTOR: Ikaw talaga oh! Akin na nga ang itak ko!
    TOMAS: Eto, pare! (iniabot ang itak)
    HECTOR: Pare, nagutom ako dun! pinakaba mo ko! ikaw gutom ka ba?
    TOMAS: Hindi. Bakit?
    HECTOR: Kainin mo ang t*e ko! Kung hindi, tatagain kita! Hindi ako nagbibiro!


  10. Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    835
    #460



Joke Time!