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  1. Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    3,004
    #2941
    Understanding Engineers #1

    Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."


    Understanding Engineers #2

    To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.


    Understanding Engineers #3

    A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!" The priest said, "Here comes the greens-keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello George, What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime!." The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything she can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"


    Understanding Engineers #4

    What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.


    Understanding Engineers #5

    The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"


    Understanding Engineers #6

    Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"


    Understanding Engineers #7

    Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.


    Understanding Engineers #8

    An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want." Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog - now that's cool."

  2. Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    3,004
    #2942
    A drunk man, who smelled of liquor, sat down on a bus next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his coat pocket.

    He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, Say Father, do you know what causes arthritis?

    The priest replies, My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath.

    The drunk muttered in response, Well, I'll be damned, then returned to his paper. The priest,thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized, saying, I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis ?

    The drunk answered, I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.

  3. Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    1,868
    #2943
    Quote Originally Posted by 12vdc View Post
    Sir Jomar, makakahabol ka pa sa biyernes santo nyan.. haha My take, ibat-iba ang mods at hindi biro ang housekeeping na ginagawa nila and they're not being paid for it. Just so happen na si Retz ay namumuro na at tinuluyan, its the mods call.. Sa ating members,wag na lang makulit and obey the rules para everybody happy. Back to regular joke thread..
    wala 'yun sa akin sir 12vdc... naiintindihan ko naman ang mga Mods.
    hanga pa nga ako ss kanila eh... biro mo ba naman, sa dami ba naman ng nga "pasaway"
    dito sa Tsikot, aba'y isipin mo na lang ang tindi ng pasensiya nila.
    anyway, kahit papaano meron rin namang natutunang lessons dito 'di ba?

    back to regular joke thread nga sana kaso wala akong naihanda eh.
    wish ko na lang sa lahat:

    "Have A Blessed Easter Sunday :angel3: "

  4. Join Date
    Jan 2014
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    1,809
    #2944
    imageuploadedbytsikot-forums1397976401.831600.jpg


    Posted via Tsikot Mobile App

  5. Join Date
    Nov 2009
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    3,004
    #2945

  6. Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    3,004
    #2946

  7. Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    21,610
    #2947

  8. Join Date
    Jan 2014
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    1,809
    #2948
    imageuploadedbytsikot-forums1398092646.426671.jpg


    Posted via Tsikot Mobile App

  9. Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Posts
    1,809
    #2949
    imageuploadedbytsikot-forums1398106458.338672.jpg


    Posted via Tsikot Mobile App

  10. Join Date
    Nov 2009
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    3,004
    #2950

Joke Time!