HOW TO START A FIGHT
The Humor-less Wife
I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And that's when the fight started...
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The Mis-informed Wife
My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend.... I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
And that's when the fight started...
________________________________
The well rounded Wife
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And that's when the fight started...
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October 4th, 2014 03:47 AM #3161
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October 5th, 2014 11:44 AM #3163Pia : Talagang malaking istorbo sa view ang condominium sa monumento ni Rizal.
Erap : No, no, no ginang senadora. Maganda po yang condominium na yan at kumpleto at pasado sa lahat ng requirements. Yan
bang monumento ni Rizal meron building permit ?
Isko : Wala po President Mayor.
Erap : Ano pa iniintay mo, ipa-demolish na agad for illegal construction at disturbance of view sa condominium.
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October 6th, 2014 09:14 PM #3165When Pacquio responded that Mayweather's comments ay parang walang pinag-aralan. :laughbounce:
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October 7th, 2014 08:24 PM #3167
Originally Posted by Monseratto
That's why sometimes a programmed computer has more sense than idiot employees
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October 8th, 2014 10:54 AM #3168got this from Pugad Baboy a while back:
Remember the guy who died of a viagra overdose?
Di na daw maisara yung kabaong :naughty2:
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October 8th, 2014 11:13 AM #3169Palusutin na lang sa takip ng kabaong Originally Posted by badkuk
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October 10th, 2014 01:35 AM #3171The donkey have to obey or else it will be beheaded. Originally Posted by Monseratto
Poor donkey...
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October 10th, 2014 02:18 AM #3172NAKED TRUTH
A naked girl rode on a taxi
'Bakit' asked the girl at the driver na nakatitig sa katawan nya
'Ngayon ka lang ba nakakita ng alang damit?'
Driver: 'Hindi po miss, iniisip ko lang kung saan nakatago pamasahe mo':detective:
PEACE BE W/ YOU
Pari nagmimisa: Sino sa inyo ang may kagalit??
Nagtaasan ng kamay lahat pwera sa isang matandang babae
Pari: O, si lola lang ang walang kagalit... ano edad nyo lola??
Lola: 93 anyos.
Pari: Tingnan nyo si lola.. 93 na pero walang kagalit!! Lola bakit wala kayong kagalit?
Lola: PATAY na ang mga DYASKE!!! Grrrr, whizz, pant!:old:
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October 10th, 2014 02:33 AM #3173THIS IS A CEILING MURAL IN A SMOKER'S LOUNGE.
WHAT A GRIM REMINDER.
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October 10th, 2014 06:56 AM #3174 Originally Posted by Monseratto
Poor donkey...
They were promised forty virgins. This man has thirty nine more to go;) ;) ;)
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October 15th, 2014 06:47 PM #3175The best solution for a 3 minutes quickie. The donkey will neither nag nor complain. Originally Posted by Monseratto
Poor donkey...
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October 15th, 2014 10:34 PM #3176 Originally Posted by wezz_zzew
The best solution for a 3 minutes quickie. The donkey will neither nag nor complain.
but what if in the 3 minutes quickie the donkey decides to take a dump while this ISIS lover is doing it
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October 15th, 2014 11:15 PM #3177A guy is looking for a place to sit in a crowded library.
He asked a girl in a university library: "Do you mind if I sit beside you?
The girl replied in a loud voice: "I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"
All the students in the library started staring at the guy; he was truly embarrassed and moved to another table.
After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy's table and said with a laugh: "I study psychology, and I know what a man is thinking. I guess you felt embarrassed, right?
The guy then responded in a loud voice: "$500 FOR ONE NIGHT? THAT'S ROBBERY!"
All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.
The guy then whispered in her ear: "I study law: I know how to screw people."
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Originally Posted by Monseratto
