Joke Time!

[sotel]

TEACHER and BOY
TEACHER: Anong mangyayari pag puputulin ang 1 mong tenga?
BOY: hihina po pandinig ko.
TEACHER: e kung dalawang tenga?
BOY: lalabo po paningin ko!
TEACHER: baket naman?
BOY: malalaglag po salamin ko
__________________

[sotel]

walang entrans fee ang my dalang panabong.

Si juan para mkalibre pumasok n my dalang sisiw.

Bantay:hoy! Anu yan?

Juan: ( galit pa) manok!Bakit?

Bantay: alam ko., eh bAkit sisiw?

Juan: haller?!may laBan ang ama nya cxmpRe moral support, tanga!

[sotel]

JUAN : Dear God, Sana po si Jose Rizal nalang ang nakapatay
kay Magellan. Kung pwede lang po, PLEASE PO. :'(

GOD : Ngunit si Lapu Lapu ang pumatay kay Magellan?

JUAN : Sige nanaman God . Please, pagbigyan niyo po ako :'(

GOD : Bakit mo nais na palitan ko ang pumatay kay Magellan?

JUAN : Siya po kase nasagot ko sa exam ee

[sotel]

Ang card ni Juan.

Inay: Juan, bakit may mga red color ang grades mo?
Juan: Naubusan kasi ng black ballpen yung teacher namin eh..
Inay: Ui! My apat na ‘F’ dito ah.. Ano yun?
...Juan: Inay, ang meaning po nun ay FASADO.
Inay: Aah.. Akala ko pa naman FERFECT

[sotel]

Bata: Mamang pulis, saan po papuntang ospital?
.
.
Pulis: Wag ka aalis dyan sa gitna ng kalye. Mamaya nasa ospital ka na.!
.
.
Bata: Ahh. Salamat po!

[sotel]

Bembol: Magkano pagupit?

Barbero: 30 pesos lang po bossing!

Bembol: Eh, magkano naman ang pa-ahit?

Barbero: Ay, 15 pesos lang po yun bossing!

Bembol: Ok sige, paki-ahit na lang ang ulo ko

[sotel]

anak. tay ang daming lamok

tatay. patayin mo ilaw para di nila tayo makita!

(pagkapatay ng ilaw, naglitawan ang mga alitaptap)

anak. tay! bumalik sila!
may dalang flash light!!

[Monseratto]

Not sure if this a repost...


GREAT FACTS
>
> Regular naps prevent old age, especially when you take them while driving.
> Having one child makes you a parent. Having two makes you a referee.
> Marriage is a relationship wherein one person is always right and the other person is the husband.
> They said we should all pay our taxes with a smile. I tried but they wanted cash.
> The human brain functions 24 hours/day, 365 days/year, until you fall for someone.

[greatauror28]

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said,
'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.'

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?'

'Oh, I don't know,' said the stranger. 'How about nuclear power?' and he smiles.

OK, ' she said. 'That could be an interesting topic.
But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass - . Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?'

The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea...'

To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know sh*t

[EE100shiro]