Got joke from email...

**theveed** · May 5th, 2005 07:41 PM

SIR: Inday, c Sir mo 2..bangga kotse ko and i nid cash!
INDAY: Aru!!! dugo-dugo gang ka noh!
SIR: Gaga! c Sir mo talaga to!
INDAY: Gago! c Sir ang tawag saken CUPCAKE!!!!
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Tatlong nagyayabangan na daga ...
Daga 1: kakain ako ng keso na may rat-killer!
Daga 2: ha!!! kakain ako ng keso sa mouse trap!!!
Daga 3: tsk! tsk! tsk! manood kayo!!!! manrereyp ako ng pusa!!!
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TEACHER: Anong mangyayari pag puputulin ang 1 mong tenga?
BOY: hihina po pandinig ko.
TEACHER: e kung dalawang tenga?
BOY: lalabo po paningin ko!
TEACHER: baket naman?
BOY: malalaglag po salamin ko.
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Dalawang cra ulo....
SIRAULO 1: Magaling ka na ba?
SIRAULO 2: Oo namn!!!
SIRAULO 1: Talaga?...kaya mo bng 2mawid sa ilaw ng flashlight ko?
SIRAULO 2: Ano ko cra? e pano kung patayin mo flashlyt mo?...e d Nalaglag
pa ko!!!
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natawa ako dito hehe

Dalawang magkaibigan nagtetext....
PEPE: Tol! pasa load namn! 2pesos lang, my katx lng me.
Tol: cge. w8 lng. (message sent)
Pepe: Tnx tol! bait mo talaga!
Tol: Gago! wag ka na magtex! sayang ung pinasa ko sayo!!!
Pepe: k.
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ERAP: doc, i accidentally swallowed a chicken bone.
DOC: is it choking?
ERAP: it's max's.
DOC: i didnt mean chowking...i said, r u choking?
ERAP: no.. im serious!
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a man was cornered by a lion. he prayed..."Lord, pls make dis lion a
christian".
d lion suddenly knelt down and prayed....
LION: "bless this food that i'm about to receive thru Christ our LORD,
amen."
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a priest lost a bird & asked during mass...
Priest: anyone got a bird?
all men stood up.
Priest: i mean, any1 seen a bird?
all women stood up.
Priest: i meant any1 seen my bird?
...all nuns stood up
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ATTY: Inday! pwede mo bng idiscribe d2 sa korte ang taong nangrape sayo?
INDAY: maitim, panot, tagyawatin, pango ilong at bungal...
SUSPEK: cge!!!!...mangasar ka pa!!!!
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dalawang madre nirereyp ng goons....
Madre1: diyos ko! patawarin mo po cla...d nila alam ang kanilang ginagawa.
Madre2: ay yung sakin marunong!!!!
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After having ***, panay pa rin ang hawak ng girl sa organ ng lalaki....
BF: Gusto mo pa ulit?
GIRL: hindi..namimiss ko lng.......meron kc ako nito dati e....
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dumating c ngongo sa bahay at tinakpan ang eyes ni misis....
Ngongo: "nges hu?"....
MRS: pa-nges hu nges hu ka pa jan....e ikaw lng ngongo d2!!!!
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Dentist & Lover....
Dentist: we have 2 stop seeing each other... halata na tayo ng MR mo.
Lover: but we love each other!
Dentist: oo nga...but were running out of excuses....ISA NA LNG IPIN MO!
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Anak: nay!!! my mens na ko!
Nay: ano kulay...aber?
Anak: dark brown nay!
Nay: lintik na bata to!!!! LBM yan!!! hala..maghugas ka na ng pwet!
ambisyosong BAKLA to!!!
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Erap: lintek na ibon 2!! iniputan ako!
Bodyguard: sir, kukuha ako ng toilet paper...
Erap: wag na!! pano mo pa mapupunasan un e nakalipad na?! tanga!!!
bobo!!!
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Arab interview at US immigration:
Q: ur name pls..
A: abdul aziz
Q: ***?
A: twice a wik..
Q: i mean male or female?
A: doesn't matter.... sometimes even with camel...
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Patient: dok. malungkot d2 sa mental kaya naisipan kong sulatan ang sarili
ko...
Doc: e ano namn laman ng sulat mo?
Patient: d ko pa po alam kc next wik ko pa ata matatangap...
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Jingoy: Dad, 22o bang may side effect ang viagra?
Erap: tanga! sa harap effect nyan hindi sa side!!!!
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Wife: honey... bili mo naman ako ng bra...
Husband: Hon.. wag ka ng magbra...liit namn dede mo e..
Wife: (taas ang kilay) e baket ikaw nakabrief?!!
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Convict: father...4give me 4 i have sinned...
Pari: sabihin mo lahat ng kasalanan mo anak.
Convict: father, pinatay ko lahat ng naniniwala sa diyos.kau ba naniniwala
sa kanya?
Pari: CNO UN?
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GIRL: Hide and seek tayo. if u find me, papayag akong makipag-*** sayo...
BOY: e kung di kita makita?
GIRL: nasa likod lng ako ng piano...
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GIRL: ang puti naman ng bird mo...
BOY: aba syempre ah!!! likas papaya ata gamit ko jan!!!
GIRL: ginagamitan mo rin ba ng downy?
BOY: baket? bango ba?
GIRL: lambot e!!!
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BINATA: mis, pede bang manligaw sayo?
DALAGA: at bakit?! may CRV ka ba? BMW? PAJERO? EXPEDITION?
BINATA: bakit?! ano ba yang PEKPEK mo!!!? PARKING LOT?!!!!!
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u wont beliv wat things
people do these days...
i was sitting nxt
2 dis girl in church
& in the middle of the mass
she light a cigarette !
na-shock ako!!!!...
i almost dropped my Red Horse!!!!