Election Jokes!

[mikaztro]

A Congressman was once asked about his attitude toward whiskey... "If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it. But if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it. This is my position, and I will not compromise!"

[mikaztro]

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense." So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep ****."

[j_avonni]

A man was coming home from work one day. He noticed that there was a lot more traffic than normal. As he got further up the road all of the traffic had come to a halt. He saw a policeman coming towards his car, so he asked the cop what was wrong. The cop said, "Sir, may crisis situation. First Gentleman Arroyo is in his car by the road very upset. He does not have the P20 million that he owes to the election officials, and every Filipino from Lanao hates him. He is threatening to douse himself in gasoline and start a fire." The man asked the cop exactly what he was doing there." The cop said, " I feel sorry for the First Gentleman so I am going car to car asking for donations." The man asked, "How much do you have so far?" The cop replied, "Well as of right now only 33 gallons, but many people are still siphoning as we speak!"

I'll donate the lighter or match!

[claRkEnt]

donate ako fire extinguisher. after using it, gamitan naman ng Flame Thrower.

[claRkEnt]

akala ko before, joke lang ito, totoo palang sinabi to ni pacman in one of his interviews!

Bakit walang nagsabi kay Pacquiao na ang Congressman ay Representative rin?
SHOWBIZ MISMO Ni Cristy Fermin
Saturday, May 26, 2007

Ano ba naman yun? Wala bang nagpapaliwa*nag kay Manny Pac*quiao na ang terminong repre*sentative ay ka*sing**kahulugan din ng pagi*ging congressman?

Sa isang interbyu ay tinanong ng reporter si Manny, “Ano ang masa*sabi mo, kapag nanalo ka ngayong eleksiyon, ikaw na ang magiging repre*sentative ng lugar ninyo?”

Ang sagot ni Pac*man, “Hindi, congress ang tinatakbuhan ko!”

Aysus!

[Ry_Tower]

Bakbakan na!

?Dirty Harry? crashes ?Asiong Salonga? show | Inquirer News

[vinj]

The sad thing about election and political jokes is that they're the ones who get elected.




Got this from a comic strip before:

Magnanakaw: "Hold-up ito! Akin na pera mo!"

Politiko: "Di mo ba ako kilala? Politiko ako!"

Magnanakaw: "Aaaahhh, kung sa ganun... akin na pera KO!!!"

[shadow]

Got this from a comic strip before:

Magnanakaw: "Hold-up ito! Akin na pera mo!"

Politiko: "Di mo ba ako kilala? Politiko ako!"

Magnanakaw: "Aaaahhh, kung sa ganun... akin na pera KO!!!"

Now! That's really funny! :rofl:


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk HD

[basti08]

LOL!

[glenn manikis]

Laging maasahan.....

Madaling lapitan....

Mahirap hanapin....