Divorce in the Philippines - are you in favor or not?

[Ry_Tower]

So what happens to the victim of the marriage? In my case, I caught my ex-wife cheating on me. So do I spend the rest of my life married to a woman I do not anymore consider my wife? Someone that I cannot trust yet I am legally bound to?

The days I spent with my ex-wife trying to fix a broken marriage were the most traumatic ones I have in recent memory. You end up at your wits end thinking and thinking of how do "we" get over this yet you know you cannot anymore trust her. Without trust, everything else crumbles. Before letting our parents know, we pretended everything was fine when we had family gatherings. So FAKE! We had to lie to our families about us on a weekly basis. That is not what I wanted in a married life!

I would rather have to freedom to choose to start over and find the right woman to be my wife and care for each other.

We'll, there is forgiveness. Trust, yan ang medyo complicated and very subjective.

[ghosthunter]

We'll, there is forgiveness. Trust, yan ang medyo complicated and very subjective.

How can you trust when everytime she gets a SMS message or does her email, you are left suspiciously thinking who is she communicating with? Can you trust your money to someone who robbed your house?

[Ry_Tower]

How can you trust when everytime she gets a SMS message or does her email, you are left suspiciously thinking who is she communicating with? Can you trust your money to someone who robbed your house?

That is why I said forgiveness is part of it. Until you have really forgiven someone, trust will always be an issue. Forgiveness first then trust.

[niky]

We'll, there is forgiveness. Trust, yan ang medyo complicated and very subjective.

The problem is... what if the person isn't in love with you, anymore?

Cheaters cheat. That's all there is to it. Some can reform and become faithful again, but I've seen my share of them fall off the wagon, over and over.. it's not pretty, and it's not good to subject the spouse (and children) to this kind of emotional trauma.

Kumbaga... in Philippine culture, we have this idealized image of the loving, forgiving spouse who's willing to take any and all crap from their unfaithful or abusive partner. That's not fair to the loving party. Best to give them their lives back and not to force them to either live with someone who is unloving and unfaithful or to live alone in misery while the unfaithful spouse is free to do as they please.

[ghosthunter]

The problem is... what if the person isn't in love with you, anymore?

Cheaters cheat. That's all there is to it. Some can reform and become faithful again, but I've seen my share of them fall off the wagon, over and over.. it's not pretty, and it's not good to subject the spouse (and children) to this kind of emotional trauma.

Kumbaga... in Philippine culture, we have this idealized image of the loving, forgiving spouse who's willing to take any and all crap from their unfaithful or abusive partner. That's not fair to the loving party. Best to give them their lives back and not to force them to either live with someone who is unloving and unfaithful or to live alone in misery while the unfaithful spouse is free to do as they please.

Cheaters cheat. Exactly.

The nature of the person will always return no matter how they try to change themselves.

Proven time and time again.

It might sound harsh it is the truth.

It is difficult to face the truth about people, especially those who you used to love and care about.

[Ry_Tower]

I might be able to forgive but I am definitely not trusting her again, especially what I uncovered when I was digging for more information.

Like I said, can you trust your money to someone who robbed your house?

Like I said, both forgiveness and trust must be genuine. If either is missing then I guess you have answered your own question.



On another note, the current divorce bill is lacking or even weak IMHumbleO. For it to truly cure the problem of assholes and dysfunctional families that is sometimes associated with it, then the person that will violate the marriage - the culprit for the marriage's failure - must not be allowed to re-marry again. Branded as one unfit for marriage.

Why? Because divorce per se can also be a way for some individual to circumnavigate the law to choose - with good or bad reason -to find another partner the same way that the "can afford" can get away with annulment when in fact they are not psychologically incapacitated.

How many rich guy/women have we known to get divorce as if they're just getting a new car? People who want divorce should go the full distance IMO so that they can truly say that they tried to solve the marriage but that it is for naught indeed.

Now how about those that will say that both parties are just not compatible that is why it's not working anymore, then as a consequence both will not be able to re-marry if they can't solve their present marital issue. Dapat legal separation lang sila sice both party is at fault as admitted. Para walang palusutan. Of course some will always find a partner/FB, but at least he/she cannot claim to be fit for marriage. Thus being in marriage becomes a symbol of being able to - get away with it - upheld a truly honorable status. Marriage is not an easy endeavor and young people should be reminded of it. Many couples are married hastily for whatever reasons other than being truly in love and ready for it. This way, the divorce law will become reminder to would be hubby & wife that there will be consequences if either one or both screw it up.

Just my own opinion.

[niky]

meron nga annulment parang divorce narin yun hayaan nyo magdusa yun mga gusto makipaghiwalay jan...yun ang ginusto nila e..ang divorce ay pinadaling annulment...well opinion ko ho iyon ayaw ko ng divorce bill. kaya yun mga magpapakasal jan magisip na muna...

You obviously haven't been reading what we've posted.

Annulment is not a divorce. The only grounds for annulment are psychological incapacity.

If your spouse is unfaithful, abusive, womanizing, has another family or simply ups and leaves... these are not grounds for annulment. You will have to prove psychological incapacity... which is difficult. I have an in-law who was left after the wedding nearly twenty years ago, who still can't get on with her life or legally re-marry.

If you've never been in a broken home or seen a broken home firsthand, you wouldn't understand it.

Divorce can be filed on grounds of unfaithfulness, adultery or abandonment. You can seek legal recompense from your spouse. Divorce is not an "easy way out" because the property gets subdivided up. It's good defense for a wife who was left for another woman.

Fine for you if you're satisfied with your marriage. But what right do you have to deny people resolution and the chance of a fresh start?

We're not asking for divorce to enable the unfaithful or the weak to weasel out of a contract. Divorce is a way to make them accountable for the broken contract.

[falken]

meron nga annulment parang divorce narin yun hayaan nyo magdusa yun mga gusto makipaghiwalay jan...yun ang ginusto nila e..ang divorce ay pinadaling annulment...well opinion ko ho iyon ayaw ko ng divorce bill. kaya yun mga magpapakasal jan magisip na muna...

Bakit gusto mo pang magdusa pa ang mga taong miserable na nga ang pagsasama? Sa palagay mo ginusto nila yung masira ang pagsasama nila? People change, if someone in the union commited adultery, or became an abusive spouse, dapat pa ba sila magsama pa? Marami sa mga taong separated have tried to repair their marriage, some succeed, others don't. So should the ones who tried their best and failed continue suffering?!

[timrev]

well kikita goverment jan hahaha

[niky]

Sadly... I've seen some very good people fall victim to falling in love with a cheater.

[[archie]]

For the question, yes, im in favor. Unfair lalo na para sa mga biktima ng gold diggers.

Perosnally, hindi ako magpapakasal until magkaroon ng divorce law. Feeling may pera hahaha

[ghosthunter]

once burned, twice shy.

[pop3corn]

it takes a lot of will not to cheat. ako loyal ako sa wife ko eh kahit andami lumalandi sa'kin sa FB and sa gym. some even younger or ***ier than her. ang ginagawa ko na lang lalo ako nagpapaganda ng katawan para lalo sila mag-flirt. yun na lang binibilang ko as achievement. anyways if I cheat, wala naman pupuntahan yun coz I'll always look for my wife. wife ko kasi sobra malambing and maasikusahin. though she's not that smart / intelligent, mas ok na din. kung minsan na-amaze ako sa mga intelihente babae, pero wala eh, mas pinaka-importante ang malambing.

[ghosthunter]

it takes a lot of will not to cheat. ako loyal ako sa wife ko eh kahit andami lumalandi sa'kin sa FB and sa gym. some even younger or ***ier than her. ang ginagawa ko na lang lalo ako nagpapaganda ng katawan para lalo sila mag-flirt. yun na lang binibilang ko as achievement. anyways if I cheat, wala naman pupuntahan yun coz I'll always look for my wife. wife ko kasi sobra malambing and maasikusahin. though she's not that smart / intelligent, mas ok na din. kung minsan na-amaze ako sa mga intelihente babae, pero wala eh, mas pinaka-importante ang malambing.

No will at all needed to cheat. All you need is the opportunity and two willing individuals who think they cannot be caught cheating.

My ex-wife is very intelligent, she even rates higher than me in IQ tests. Yet ironically she does the most stupid of things as well (aside from cheating).

[pop3corn]

No will at all needed to cheat. All you need is the opportunity and two willing individuals who think they cannot be caught cheating.

My ex-wife is very intelligent, she even rates higher than me in IQ tests. Yet ironically she does the most stupid of things as well (aside from cheating).

nasasayo nman yan ghost, matinde talaga temptation, andun na yun lalo magpapa***y outfit next tym meet or pa beautiful eyes / tlagang dinadaan ka sa mata, andun na yun private messages, Filipina girls have so many ways to determine Kung mag-react / respond ka. Basta keep your cool, always maintain your sense of humor and always maintain posture. Look but don't touch, smell but don't taste.

meron pa nga ako trip ngaun eh yun mga dating sikat na pa***y mga 30 something na kse medyo na out-of-shape na, they're into my charms sa gym eh. Kung makakamaintain ako ng 10 years pa sa body ko, Malay mo abutan ko pagkataba ni anne saka christine

[vinj]

My ex-wife is very intelligent, she even rates higher than me in IQ tests. Yet ironically she does the most stupid of things as well (aside from cheating).

Apparently IQ and EQ or being streetsmart just don't move up proportionately. I also know of several individuals who are sheer genius in IQ as against my primitive mind and yet, i've seen them do brainfart things unintentionally as against me intentionally doing stupid things.

[timrev]

it takes a lot of will not to cheat. ako loyal ako sa wife ko eh kahit andami lumalandi sa'kin sa FB and sa gym. some even younger or ***ier than her. ang ginagawa ko na lang lalo ako nagpapaganda ng katawan para lalo sila mag-flirt. yun na lang binibilang ko as achievement. anyways if I cheat, wala naman pupuntahan yun coz I'll always look for my wife. wife ko kasi sobra malambing and maasikusahin. though she's not that smart / intelligent, mas ok na din. kung minsan na-amaze ako sa mga intelihente babae, pero wala eh, mas pinaka-importante ang malambing.

tama ka parekoy...but some talagang manloloko..pero bat ganun pagnagloko ang wife kahit minsan lang parang 10x ang tama sa husband at di tangap ng lipunan ang guy kasi ganun na talaga yun pero ganun pa man bumabalik parin sila sa wife nila...pag my divorce na parang US madali nalang magpalit ng asawa...anyway if you cheat kamalasan lang talaga sa buhay yun
bat kasi my mga taong magpapakasal e maghihiwalay lang pala at kawawa lang ang mga anak na wala naman kasalanan...

[ghosthunter]

it takes a lot of will not to cheat. ako loyal ako sa wife ko eh kahit andami lumalandi sa'kin sa FB and sa gym. some even younger or ***ier than her. ang ginagawa ko na lang lalo ako nagpapaganda ng katawan para lalo sila mag-flirt. yun na lang binibilang ko as achievement. anyways if I cheat, wala naman pupuntahan yun coz I'll always look for my wife. wife ko kasi sobra malambing and maasikusahin. though she's not that smart / intelligent, mas ok na din. kung minsan na-amaze ako sa mga intelihente babae, pero wala eh, mas pinaka-importante ang malambing.

[galant E SS]

I am in favor for a divorce law here in the Phils. Actually, we already have the declaration of nullity of marriages under the Family Code and the most abused ground is psychological incapacity. Once marriage is declared null and void based on this ground, both parties have right to re-marry. This is also known as our implied divorce law. Pero mahirap pa rin, gagastos ng malaki ang petitioner and the gov't. through the Office of the Sol. Gen will oppose kaya even the Regional Trial Courts grant them, the court of Appeals and/or the Supreme Court might reverse the decision of the RTC because the Phil. Constitution and laws' concern is to preserve marriage. Unfortunately, there are many husbands and wives who are separated with each other and are already living with their respective different partners. Meron ding mag-asawa na di na talaga pwedeng masama kasi halos magpatayan na.

[renzo_d10]

^ Same with some of my friends. Very intelligent, knows a lot about math and science. Pero walang diskarte pagpasok sa real world.