SUV Attitudes...

[wiretap_md]

Came across this as I was browsing through a local toyota group forum. Hope this hasn't been posted it yet.

SUV ATTITUDES

The Land Rover Defender driver comes in two styles. The first is he
who loads up with safari gear and heads off into the wild blue yonder
(the type we all hope to be one day) confident that he has the best
4x4xfar. He does it on high-days and holidays and would never be
caught with his jerry cans down (off the roof-rack). He is the man
who, unless he has had his morning fix of hypoid gear oil wafting
past his nostrils and water dripping on his feet, is discontented and
unproductive. The second is an image man. Unless he gets that safari
feeling as he fights his way through the morning traffic, he is not
nice to be with.

The Discovery is Britain's most significant contribution to good
posture. Even if the driver is four-foot six, he is tall when behind
the wheel of a Disco. No opportunity is lost as this superlative 4x4
cruises around the most expensive malls, for drivers and passengers
alike like to peer down on mere mortals, with their well trained
stiff upper lips protruding. (Posture instruction is in the driver's
manual you get with a Disco)

The Mazda driver, is one who has one foot in and one foot out - not
sure if he wants to be a 4x4 man or not. He loves his vehicle, but
don't you dare compare it to anything else. He is one who, when
selecting his mount, wanted a Hilux, but wasn't sure that he wanted
to have kidney transplants more than absolutely necessary.
The Ford pick-up driver is a badge-engineered Mazda driver.
The Pajero owner sees himself as the master of the universe. The real
master of the universe wonders if He should admit to having created
him in the first place. He is an obsessive compulsive and if given
the choice of one or two articles to take onto a desert island, a
leggy blond or his car, he would, without hesitation, select his
beloved Pajero. The Pajero in the 4x4 world is the equivalent of the
Red Ferrari in a man's world.

The Gelandewagen driver is cool, calm and collected and often German.
If he is not German, he gets a hint of what it's like to actually be
a German - driving an armoured car in the desert. He is usually
ignorant of the fact that he is driving such a superb off-roader and
is also one of the most frustrated drivers around, because his car is
so slow that he must leave two days ahead to get there with the others.

The Hilux driver reigns supreme - or at least he thinks he does. If
he drives an older Hilux with cart springs he is terrified that one
day he will meet his match - somebody driving a new Hilux who will
show him how a Hilux really performs. If he drives a new Hilux, with
independent front suspension, he is terrified that one day he will
meet his match - somebody driving an old Hilux who will show him how
a Hilux really performs. The Hilux driver is very proud that he is
tough enough to take the rough with the smooth (smooth!?) in order
that he may have piece of mind that his truck will go on forever. He
is less proud however, and never lets on, about the kidney belt in
the cubby hole and silent wish for a Defender that is half as reliable.

The SsangYong driver is a bit of a loner. The bank loaned him the
money to buy it and he is now all alone because nobody wants to
travel with him in case he breaks down. He, and the entire world, is
not sure of the proper pronouciation of the Korean word, and the only
word in all the lauguages of the earth, to start with a double-S. He
spends much of his time hoping that nobody will notice that his car
is made by the same people who have produced the ugliest moving
object on the planet - the Korando. He wishes he could have bought a Prado.

The really old Land Rover driver has either never driven a coil
spring Land Rover or is a fanatic who likes spending his weekends on
his back being rained on by oil and dirt. Or, he is really poor.

The Mercedes M-Class driver wants a 4x4 with the ultimate accessory -
a right-of-way as standard original equipment. What worries me about
this is that BMW are now bringing out a 4x4. What are drivers of that
going to be like? I have sleepless nights about it!

The Prado driver is a bit self-absorbed. He is a man in love with his
new lifestyle and not peturbed about telling everyone either. He's
confident his vehicle will cope and every time he takes it off-road
he apologises to it for his inadequacy. If he drives a diesel he
regrets not buying a petrol when trying to overtake with his B'rakhah
behind him but is very pleased when the petrol levy is announced in the budget.

The Range Rover owner is a woman. He wouldn't dare get mud on it
(tell me, have you ever seen a dirty Range Rover?) and doesn't have a
clue how to adjust the suspension for off-road travel anyway.
Besides, it can climb pavements on the normal road setting.

The Cruiser VX driver is a deaf mute. He is spellbound by his vehicle
and never opens the window to talk or throw signs to anyone. He loses
his way around the dashboard because every time he climbs in, the
electric seat is in a different position. Smitten by his cocksure
attititude, he drives past Range Rovers trying not to notice how much
better they look.

The Nissan Patrol owner was a magpie in his former life. Some of it
rubbed off and he now likes chrome so much that he chose the one and
only 4x4 that could satisfy his lust for shiney objects. New Patrol
owners really wanted a Cruiser but couldn't quite afford it so they
went for the next biggest thing.

Nissan Sani drivers are dissapointed people. Most have had long-
standing love affairs with their vehicles but don't like the new one.
They lie awake at night crying themselves to sleep with the words, "I
want a new old Sani, not a new new Sani, boo, hoo"

All 4x4 owners have one secret wish - that one day a shiney BMW
tailgating them will misjudge a stop and slam into their towbar,
converting the kidney grille into a unrecognisable mess.I know I do.
If you make the mistake of taking this seriously and are offended,
please don't email me.

[wiretap_md]

Top Ten Signs of a SUV Poseur


10. Thinks off-roading is going up his driveway.

9. Pays $30,000+ for a station wagon on a 4x4 pickup truck frame.

8. Thinks "roughing it" is camping at a KOA campground.

7. Dreams he is nearing the peak of a remote mountain whenever he drives over a speed bump.

6. Has sudden urges to follow other SUVs that are driving off steep cliffs.

5. Has a cell-phone in his SUV.

4.Orders an SUV with leather interior (bonus points for white leather).

3. Drives his SUV to the MALL.

2. Shifts into four-wheel-drive whenever the potholes in the city get too big.

1. Tells his friends that he has been off-roading when in fact he just drove down a gravel road.

(note: convert $ to PhP)

[wiretap_md]

Top Ten Reasons Why Not To Buy a SUV


10. EVERYONE ELSE drives one!

9. Too much vehicle for too much money.

8. Sucks more fuel than...well it just sucks!

7. Are you REALLY going to take that shiny new $40,000 SUV off road?

6. How can you "rough it" with a leather interior?

5. They're just cheap pickup trucks with back seats for an extra $20,000+.

4. They're too dang big!

3. Inferior overall safety.

2. Just like Chevy Chase's Family Truckster Wagon, except with four wheel drive.

1. Lemmings drown!

[Ungas]

Nice one, wiretap_md! :lol:

[wiretap_md]

My favorites:

Originally posted by wiretap_md



The Hilux driver reigns supreme - or at least he thinks he does. If
he drives an older Hilux with cart springs he is terrified that one
day he will meet his match - somebody driving a new Hilux who will
show him how a Hilux really performs. If he drives a new Hilux, with
independent front suspension, he is terrified that one day he will
meet his match - somebody driving an old Hilux who will show him how
a Hilux really performs.

The Nissan Patrol owner was a magpie in his former life. Some of it
rubbed off and he now likes chrome so much that he chose the one and
only 4x4 that could satisfy his lust for shiney objects. New Patrol
owners really wanted a Cruiser but couldn't quite afford it so they
went for the next biggest thing.

Thats why mas ok pa yung old Hilux version kasi solid axle pa ang front unlike the current Hilux now na IFS na ang harap.

[Skywalker]

Originally posted by wiretap_md


3. Drives his SUV to the MALL.

No offense sa mga owners pero di ba dapat ginagamit ito kung saan ito naka-disenyo. Sayang lang kasi di nate-test ang full potential nito.

[Olive Drab]

nabasa ko na yata yan but its worth reading again
wala yatang Suzuki driver?
syempre dun parin ako sa una.

[Ungas]

Originally posted by Skywalker
No offense sa mga owners pero di ba dapat ginagamit ito kung saan ito naka-disenyo. Sayang lang kasi di nate-test ang full potential nito.

Yeah, better tell this to the politicians who uses them to fetch their kids to school.


But on the other hand, pano kung tulad kong iisa lang ang sasakyan na ginagamit?

[tebs]

ang nakikita lang naman kasi ng ibang tao ay yung pagpunta natin ng malls.
di nila alam na pumupunta rin tayo sa mga lugar na di nila nakikita.

[pissword]

heehe panu ako eh mini-suv lang hahahaha wala lang nakikisali lang ako sa usapan. haayyy natawa ako dun sa ssangyong ahhh the only word in the world na double S start hehe

[Skywalker]

Originally posted by Ungas
Yeah, better tell this to the politicians who uses them to fetch their kids to school.


But on the other hand, pano kung tulad kong iisa lang ang sasakyan na ginagamit?

Ooops... I'm not refering to you "weekend warrior" guys but to those who wouldn't let their rigs get any mud....exactly some of them were politicians.

[wreckless]

Originally posted by tebs
ang nakikita lang naman kasi ng ibang tao ay yung pagpunta natin ng malls.
di nila alam na pumupunta rin tayo sa mga lugar na di nila nakikita.

hindi kasi sila nakakarating don..
hanggang sa mall lang....
hehehehehehe

]Originally posted by Ungas
But on the other hand, pano kung tulad kong iisa lang ang sasakyan na ginagamit?

oo nga..
ako rin..
isang sasakyan lang ginagamit ko.

[NightRock]

thanks to happiman.... naging dalawa sasakyan ko hehehehe.

[Ungas]

Gotcha! hehehe. :D

[pajerokid]

I like the part about the Paje hehehe :D

[5Speed]

[afrasay]

"New Patrol owners really wanted a Cruiser but couldn't quite afford it so they went for the next biggest thing."

Heck, I can't even afford a new patrol :<

[kiper]

1. Tells his friends that he has been off-roading when in fact he just drove down a gravel road.

gusto ko 'to... bwarharhahrar..!!

[OTEP]

I go to the mall to drive over those concrete yellow things in the carpark. Right, Ungas? hehehe.

But seriously, that's what SUV's are all about - versatility.

[Ungas]

Originally posted by OTEP
I go to the mall to drive over those concrete yellow things in the carpark. Right, Ungas? hehehe.

Hell yeah! :lol:

Ginawa ko rin yan last week sa Greenhills parking around 10pm na, after a show at Music Museum. Natawa ako sa mga mukha nung mga tao dun sa parking na kasabay ko sa pila. They were all in aww, when I passed thru most of them just to evade the traffic at exit points. :lol: