Why are ladies proud to be a single mom in the Philippines?

[dishcom]

Proud siguro ang isang single mom kung napatapos niya ang lahat ng anak niya at asa maganda na silang kalagayan. Natawid niya mag isa...
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Pero doon sa case na anak lang ang gusto kahit walang asawa e medyo mahirap sa bata. Dadating ang pagkakataon na mag hahanap ng tatay ang bata at magkakaroon siya ng paki ramdam na laging kulang..

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[niky]

call centers/BPO, various dating websites... single moms as early as 18 (18 is the minimum age allowed by the website)

well i agree with your outlook in life, but there is a saying "kung ano mali, siya masarap!" with this, could this be the reason why they are proud?

Firstly, it is wrong to bring a child into this world without any plans for how to support or raise it.

BUT: It is not wrong to take care of that child by yourself and to refuse to "settle" for a substandard excuse for a father if you can't find the right man.

They're proud because they're able to raise their child on their own.


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This is the long, short and very short of it. If you can juggle a job and a child properly all by your lonesome, you have a damn right to be proud. Ang hirap nga magkaanak kung may asawa ka... mas mahirap pa kung mag-isa. For friends in industry and from College I know who had kids yet managed to survive and prosper, I have nothing but the utmost respect.

I think it is selfish to actively put a child in this world without a father. Kung hindi kailangan ng babae ng asawa, ang bata kailangan ng tatay.

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Not true. A child needs a stable home environment. This can be done with a single parent. With a single parent assisted by grandparents or siblings. With two same-*** partners. With a husband and wife. With a "houseband" and working wife. With a husband and wife supported by grandparents or siblings.

As said by yebo, the "village" that raises the child isn't solely confined to the parents.

I know people who were forced to marry simply because of a child. They mostly ended up miserable. Those who stuck it out apart still don't have an easy time of it... our culture is incredibly prejudiced against those who have children out of wedlock... but they eventually find something better. (the father still has the duty to provide and to be available for the children, if possible)

If you are afraid of marriage, then don't. There are many benefits, but only if you find someone who you can commit to and who will commit to being in a monogamous relationship with you through thick and thin. Marriage doesn't just require love, it requires work. If you're not willing to work for it, don't get married.

Woah, now its the woman's fault she got knocked up?

I guess he doesn't know how teenage pregnancies happen.

is it the women's fault? no, its both their fault, but on the other side, it was the woman who decided to let the man in and thus resulted to an offspring... the question is why do they say on social media that they are proud single moms and when you ask them, they will respond they are not interested to get child support from the father?

You do know that most unplanned pregnancies happen in high school or just after high school? And that they often happen to virgins or the ***ually inexperienced?

You also realize that, this being a Catholic country, there is a stigma on birth control, and that young women and teenagers have less access to birth control?

And that young, impressionable girls are more easy to coerce into ***? It's not a simple rape/no rape thing... ***ual coercion and domineering/aggressive partners are a very real danger for women entering the adult world.

-

Some of these women could be proud because they have escaped from a bad situation or relationship and are managing life on their own.

Not all of them are like this. There are single women (and men) who rely on their parents or family to take care of their "mistakes" for them.

But those whom I know personally are very motivated to do everything they can to provide for their child, both in terms of money and emotional support.

Hell, I know of one who's juggling jobs to put three kids through private schools. Now that's a super-mom.

If I could raise a kid like that, I'd be proud, too.

If the dad is a deadbeat, why would you want to rely on support from him? It takes time and energy to chase after fathers who've abandoned their families... time that could be spent making money instead and supporting your child.

[_Cathy_]

The problem is women marry men who change after marriage (vice versa)

My friend told me about her friend who is a battered wife (very few know). Nobody would have known that the guy was a wife beater. The guy looks so timid and it's even her friend that looks b1tchy. She's still with him and staying for the sake of the children. Marami, lumalabas lang ugali after ikasal. That's what I mean by marriage is a lottery. Sometimes no matter how careful you are, you will never really know. In that instance, I think the woman is better off being a single Mom than having children grow up in a violent household. Breaking free from that sort of relationship and raising your children alone is something to be proud of.

What I don't agree with is women who just want to use men for their sperm, saying they don't need a man and can raise a child alone. Why consciously deprive the child of a father?

[shadow]

That's so '60s woman staying in the marriage for the sake of children.




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[_Cathy_]

That's so '60s woman staying in the marriage for the sake of children.




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Some stay for financial reasons.

[Mentis]

That's so '60s woman staying in the marriage for the sake of children.




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Mostly nangyayari yan kapag ang babae eh walang ibang paraan para mabuhay ang mga anak.
Kaya napaka-importante talaga sa girl now ang makatapos and have a descent job, para kung sakali man makatyempo ng partner na ogag eh hindi sya matatakot kumawala. Though minsan meron lang din talaga babaeng nagiging single mom due of stupid decisions, specially during younger years. Meron naman iba na sadyang ginusto lang magka anak, pero mostly ng babaeng ganun ay yung mga career or financialy stable "woman".

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[shadow]

Most of that kind of women yun mga matatanda na.

Meron ng equality today. Women are more independent financially.

Hinde na uso yun pangbahay na lang ang mga babae.

The problem is huwag na rin talaga dapat umasa sa lalake, dapat meron sariling income para anytime pwede umalis.


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[Mentis]

Some stay for financial reasons.

True!

Yung GF ko nung 90's, lagi raw kwento ng mom nya...
" kung career woman lang ako, matagal ko ng hiniwalayan dad nyu"
Kaya ipinush talaga sya ng mom nya na maging career woman bago pa mag-settle and never ever to quit working.

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[CVT]

Most of that kind of women yun mga matatanda na.

Meron ng equality today. Women are more independent financially.

Hinde na uso yun pangbahay na lang ang mga babae.

The problem is huwag na rin talaga dapat umasa sa lalake, dapat meron sariling income para anytime pwede umalis.


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Iyan ang babae!... A partner in life...

Else, she will always be in supporting role...

What if the husband suddenly disappears for whatever reason ?(death, separation, etc),- she will be clueless!

Life goes on!...... Then, how about the kids???


"The measure of a man is what he does with power" LJIOHF!

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[_Cathy_]

Most of that kind of women yun mga matatanda na.

Meron ng equality today. Women are more independent financially.

Hinde na uso yun pangbahay na lang ang mga babae.

The problem is huwag na rin talaga dapat umasa sa lalake, dapat meron sariling income para anytime pwede umalis.


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Those I know are only in their early 30s. Depende pa rin sa values. They can leave but choose to stay.

I don't know how it is with women now in their mid-late 20s that are getting married but I would suppose less than 10 yrs isn't much of a generational gap pa.