What Age/Level Did You Really Start Studying? How to Encourage Your Kid To Study?

[ihateyouandme]

It was when i was in grade one that i realized how good it felt to be part of the honor students. When i was a in kindergarten i didnt have any honor. And i wasn't part of those people in front whom the teachers really loved. When grade one came i made it a point to be part of honor student. If i can be the first honor I will. I noticed that once a kid starts during those early years it somehow turns out to be a habit. Excellent will always be a part of you when you have it inculcated during those early times. I am really glad that my parents bought us a lot of books (encyclopedias, almanac,atlas, puzzles....). Im glad that my grandparents were also strict with us. Highschool and college wasn't hard anymore. It was so easy to get in to any school.

[GlennSter]

laki ako sa pressure ng parents to excel..kaya naman wala yata akong pinalampas na medal.hehe.

actually, im thankful sa parents ko na ginanun nila ako.kasi yung kanila, pressure na hindi naman sobra.they give me a "prize" for every medal or award that i get every year. pero pag bumababa ang grade, may tinatanggal sila saking gusto ko...like tv.or a toy.good psychology of bringing up a child, if i may say.they brought me up thinking na importante ito at yun lang ang maibabalik ko sa kanila.

at oo..nagamit ko naman siya hanggang college.hanggang post grad sa med school nagagamit ko ang disiplinang ito.(but i quit since im going abroad)

ive been studying for the past 21 years....and im 24 now.feeling ko nga pumupurol na utak ko kakaaral.hehehehe...hindi naman siguro.

next year siguro aral ulit ako after i earn some money of my own.

[city]

Contrary to popular myth, there are many studies showing that when children expect or anticipate rewards, they perform more poorly. One study found that students’ performance was undermined when offered money for better marks. A number of American and Israeli studies show that reward systems suppress students’ creativity, and generally impoverish the quality of their work. Rewards can kill creativity, because they discourage risk-taking. When children are hooked on getting a reward, they tend to avoid challenges, to "play it safe". They prefer to do the minimum required to get that prize.

Here is a good illustration of why we made the mistake of believing in rewards, based on benefits that appear on the surface. When an American fast-food company offered food prizes to children for every book they read, reading rates soared. This certainly looked encouraging - at first glance. On closer inspection, however, it was demonstrated that the children were selecting shorter books, and that their comprehension test-scores plummeted. They were reading for junk-food, rather than for the intrinsic enjoyment of reading. Meanwhile, reading outside school (the unrewarded situation) dropped off. There are many more studies showing that, while rewards may well increase activity, they smother enthusiasm and kill passion. Individuals anticipating rewards lose interest in activities that were otherwise attractive. It seems that the more we want the reward, the more we come to dislike what we have to do to get it. The activity required of us stands in the way of our coveted prize. It would have been smarter to just give the kids more interesting books, as there is plenty of evidence that intrinsically enjoyable activity is the best motivator and performance enhancer.

[city]

^^just borrowed that up from a very interesting site. and i agree.

rewards kill passion and creativity.

[empy]

i don't think i ever "really started" studying...and i went from nursery school all the way through a master's degree.

i guess i just feel that i never reached my potential...o baka tamad lang talaga :bwahaha:

but it's true that the people skills and leadership experience through my extracurriculars were just as important to me out here in the real world as my book knowledge.

[CVT]

Thank you guys for all your input. Sana nga latebloomer lang ang aking panganay katulad ni CLAVEL3699.
And with M54_Powered, who hasn't really exerted so much effort, but has achieved so much,- it speaks well of your genealogy and ability. My kudos!
Kay GlennSter naman who has 'really studied' almost all of his life and is willing to start over and continue studying,- hats off!
Ihateyouandme surely is competitive. It augurs well to what we see now in the real world, specially with this thing called globalization. We need a lot like you to turn this country around.
As for me, I really never stopped studying. Unlike M54_Powered, I always give 100% of what I have to supplement my natural (limited) ability to absorb knowledge. Maybe it is not the high tech things we learn that counts most,- but in our self-discipline to learn new things inspite of the hurdles and difficulties, that we become more equipped to adapt to situations in our environment.
I really never asked my son to get high grades,- just for him to give his best in the things that he's doing. At the end of the day, he will not be wondering, what if...? Maybe I am asking too much from him. Maybe I want him to be 'just like me'... I really appreciate your input... It has helped me a lot during the last couple of days....

[CLAVEL3699]

Thank you guys for all your input. Sana nga latebloomer lang ang aking panganay katulad ni CLAVEL3699.
And with M54_Powered, who hasn't really exerted so much effort, but has achieved so much,- it speaks well of your genealogy and ability. My kudos!
Kay GlennSter naman who has 'really studied' almost all of his life and is willing to start over and continue studying,- hats off!
Ihateyouandme surely is competitive. It augurs well to what we see now in the real world, specially with this thing called globalization. We need a lot like you to turn this country around.
As for me, I really never stopped studying. Unlike M54_Powered, I always give 100% of what I have to supplement my natural (limited) ability to absorb knowledge. Maybe it is not the high tech things we learn that counts most,- but in our self-discipline to learn new things inspite of the hurdles and difficulties, that we become more equipped to adapt to situations in our environment.
I really never asked my son to get high grades,- just for him to give his best in the things that he's doing. At the end of the day, he will not be wondering, what if...? Maybe I am asking too much from him. Maybe I want him to be 'just like me'... I really appreciate your input... It has helped me a lot during the last couple of days....

Payo ko lang syo at ginagawa ko sa anak ko. even hindi sya makakuha nang high grades pinakikita ko sa kanya na mahal na mahal ko sya at lagi ako nasa likod para tulungan sya sa lahat.

My parents push me so much para mag aral, minsan pa nga pinapalo pa ako kasi hindi ko natututunan yung tinuturo sa akin and my rewards system kami but i hated it so much dahil napapakita na bobo ako at matalino mga kapatid ko dahil ako wala sila meron.

Siguro part yun kaya pinabayaan ko na lang lalo pag aaral ko at hindi ako nagsikap dahil bata ako but in the long run they realize na mas matalino ako sa kanila kahit hindi mataas ang grades ko. NCEE ko im one of the highest in the entire country, entrance exam nung college im also one of the highest sa lahat nang eskwela na pinatest san ko.

I also took IQ and EQ test nung graduate ako high school at mataas sya. My point is dont push your child to much baka magkaroon nang side effect sa kanila nun. Push them with love and care.

Nung nagcollege ako they say i will finish it in 6yrs but i prove them wrong and graduate pa ako with colors and in just 3 and half yrs.

Ang sa akin lang is let your child na maging bata andyan ka para gabayan sya nang tama dahil hindi nya maiintindihan pagsobra ang higpit mo para makakuha sya mataas nang grades or pagpasok sa eskwela.

Dapat balanse lahat help him/her to understand things. If u can learn to teach him/her while playing mas maganda para maappreciate nya yung bonding nyo and learning experience nya.

Alam ko madami magdis agree sa akin dito but eto naranasan ko ata ayaw ko maranasan nang anak ko naranasan ko.

Hindi kaagad lumabas ang potential ko 'coz hindi napalabas dahil sobrang hindi ko maintindihan at wala nagpapaliwanag sa akin at may kasama pa palo or parusa or rewards na hindi naman dapat.

[city]

enjoy while he's young...his best will surface naturally. be his buddy. nothing beats a father and son team as the best motivator when it comes to learning.

[mazdamazda]

IMO...

what is more important is the school / teachers that your kid is facing with.

my belief is that, if magaling ang teacher and na-absorb na niya sa classroom yung mga tinuro, hindi na kailangan mag-aral sa bahay other than to do assignments and stuff.

[GlennSter]

i think the "rewards" or any other style of learning is also culture based.psychologist should also consider culture if they are to use this method.

for the filipinos...i strongly believed that we are inherently creative and passionate about things. so i strongly believe that for filipinos, "rewards" system is GENERALLY a good style for parents.

[empy]

CVT, thanks for the kind words, but i don't mean to imply that i cruised through student life without being challenged - i'm hardly a prodigy. there was many a time when i failed, or didn't perform well, because i could have put more effort in.

definitely a lesson learned that i am applying towards the raising of my own son. wag kang gumaya sa tatay mo! whapaak!! :twak:

[city]

Rewards and praise condition children to seek approval; they end up doing things to impress, instead of doing things for themselves. This can hold back the development of self-motivation and makes them dependent on outside opinion. When children get used to getting goodies for "performing", they become pleasers, over-reliant on positive strokes. Rewards and praise can create a kind of addictive behavior: children can get addicted to recognition, and thus lose touch with the simple joy of doing what they love. So many of us are addicted to prestige: we get depressed when admiration fails to come. Instead of doing what we do for its own sake, we fish for flattery or reassurance, and when the applause dies away, we sink into despair. Giving rewards or praise can be habit-forming. This is because the more rewards we use, the more we have to use them to keep children motivated. Praise cannot create a personal commitment to "good" behavior or performance. It only creates a commitment to seeking praise.

[CLAVEL3699]

Rewards and praise condition children to seek approval; they end up doing things to impress, instead of doing things for themselves. This can hold back the development of self-motivation and makes them dependent on outside opinion. When children get used to getting goodies for "performing", they become pleasers, over-reliant on positive strokes. Rewards and praise can create a kind of addictive behavior: children can get addicted to recognition, and thus lose touch with the simple joy of doing what they love. So many of us are addicted to prestige: we get depressed when admiration fails to come. Instead of doing what we do for its own sake, we fish for flattery or reassurance, and when the applause dies away, we sink into despair. Giving rewards or praise can be habit-forming. This is because the more rewards we use, the more we have to use them to keep children motivated. Praise cannot create a personal commitment to "good" behavior or performance. It only creates a commitment to seeking praise.

or yet mas lalo sya mawawalan gana sa buhay 'coz hindi nya makuha ang rewards na yun at mafrustrate sya.

[miLes]

GlennSter - pareho tayo 21 years nagaral

CVT im sure your kid will turn out fine, the fact that you're one concerned parent and you're even willing to learn and ask advice on how to encourage studying, my parents were never like that, yes they gave support but not verbally or rather showingly and i turned out fine, never at the top of the class but i finished through everything even getting a gold medal at college

[theveed]

Ako din, college na ako natuto mag aral talaga na di sapilitan...

[GlennSter]

Ako din, college na ako natuto mag aral talaga na di sapilitan...

naku humanda ka..mukhang bibong bibo ang iyong junior...

city: what journal did you get that?it seems that you know alot about psychology of children.

[city]

naku humanda ka..mukhang bibong bibo ang iyong junior...

city: what journal did you get that?it seems that you know alot about psychology of children.

i don't know much.....i just read and see if it makes sense.

i find "The natural child" a very interesting site. it's about emphatic parenting which i believe works.

It teaches about nonviolent communication instead of spanking, humiliation, timeouts and punishment. It teaches alternatives to punishment.

it talks a lot about the natural child from birth to adolescent kids. Very informative.

[66bunny]

I started at 5, kindergarten.

Yes. Rewards works to me then. I get a good grade, mom buys me toys. I flunk, I don't get anything at all. Kahit na may subject ako na hate ko, example Math, I'll learn it hard just to get my dream toy.

Fast forward today: I thank my parents for that. You work hard, you get what you want. Rewarding yourself for a job well done, for example.

Now, anyone with a 57 Chevrolet Bel Air?

[theveed]

Corruption tawag dun... May kapalit lagi heheheh... Only works well for pets IMO.

The key, in my opinion, is for the person (doesn't matter how old they are) to see the OUTCOME of what they've done.

Results will bring motivation (whether you've reached the end of what you are seeking to achieve, or getting a step closer to it). The lack of it will bring frustration.

[Flagg]

Nagsimula me mag-aral, umm, the day before the test. Ehehe.

Sir city, I think ok yung reward system my parents: money for awards... but i never received it (until I was 16). Instead, may little saver's passbook me where I could watch it grow and I could see na if no award there's a small increase because of the interest, but if I had an award, yehey big increase! That was so fun, and I didn't really mind kung wala me award cuz may little up pa rin...

Of course, that all stopped in HS. In HS naman, it was the yabang of being in the (Semi-)Honors class. Ehehe.

Of course you & Glenn are right na I forgot everything. Where did my real education come from? My parents were smart enough to leave all kinds of books lying around. The best are those puzzle books, from coloring all the way up to crosswords. Also we had speak & spell machines. Finally, I read my way through the Bible, 3 encyclopediae, the Childcraft series, the Time-Life history series, etc (often may repeat reading). Business courses were a breeze cuz I was up-to-date on Fortune magazine. (My personal favorite was when I found my dad's very well-hidden ****, wahehe) Oh yeah, my parents would tell lots of stories too.

Because of this wealth of knowledge, I could cram (parang refresher lang) and take school life easy (except for Math). Of course my last honor was in GS. But I never failed any subject either. This is how I developed my street smarts... copying stuff, xeroxing notes (I never took notes), getting Light Duty in CMT, messing with chicks, all the wonderful stuff.

Btw, before I get judged... graduated college 20 yrs old, double-major (ehehe to make up for getting kicked out of the Math intensive course), 2 gf's, 3 flings, and a whole lot of... fun & games, go clubbing evey weekend on my allowance in college circa early 90's: P200 a week.

School: a formal foundation (best to have it)
Street: this is where life's at