warning labels...

**nugundam93** · April 16th, 2006 01:57 AM

Originally Posted by Brownie

Actual Instructions on Labels

In case you needed further proof that the Human Race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer products:

1 On a blanket from Taiwan - NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO

2 On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists - REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU

3 On a Taiwanese shampoo - USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE

4 On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavored milk drink - AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT

5 On a New Zealand insect spray - THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS

6 In a US guide to setting up a new computer - TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING
(Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box)

7 On a Japanese product used to relieve painful hemorrhoids - LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO *beep* DUCT WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET

8 In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles - OPEN OTHER END

9 On a packet of Sunmaid raisins - WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVORITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?

10 On a Sears hairdryer - DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING

11 On a bag of Fritos - YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY DETAILS INSIDE
(The shoplifter special!)

12 On a bar of Dial soap - DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP
(And that would be how?)

13 On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) - DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN
(Too late! You lose!)

14 On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING
(Are you sure? Let's experiment)

15 On a Korean kitchen knife - WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN
(Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?)

16 On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY
(As opposed to use in outer space?)

17 On a Japanese food processor - NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE
(Now I'm curious)

18 On Sainsbury's peanuts - WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS
(Really? Peanuts contain nuts?)

19 On an American Airlines packet of nuts INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS
(I'm glad they cleared that up)

20 On a Swedish chainsaw - DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS
(What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?)

21 On a child's superman costume - WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY
(That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)

22 On some frozen dinners: SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST

23 On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: FITS ONE HEAD

24 On packaging for a Rowenta iron: DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY

25 On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine: DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY

26 On Nightly sleep aid: WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS

http://www.pocuk.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=45099

gotta love #3, 7, 18, 20, 21

**konde** · April 16th, 2006 02:32 AM

:bwahaha:

**BoEinG_747** · April 16th, 2006 04:40 AM

ayuusshhh

**imprezawrxsti** · April 16th, 2006 05:31 AM

Yong sa # 1. blanket for tornado, pag may tornado warning dito sa area ng ospital namin kasama yan sa mga gamit na dadalhin namin, so baka nga hindi matibay yong pagkagawa so hindi pwedeng dalhin.

Tsaka, yong sa "New Zealand not tested on animals " they are trying to imply na more humane ang product nila...

**oldblue** · April 16th, 2006 06:34 AM

saka yun sa chainsaw, ginagamit nga yun genital area pang-ipit ng chain habang naglalagare coz both hands naka hawak sa wood -> delikado

yun naman sa hairdryer, kung minsan kasi ginagamit na heater sa mga cold climate places

**kimpOy** · April 16th, 2006 09:51 AM

actually nagkaroon ng case vs ang mcdonalds wherein napaso yung customer sa cape niya, and nanalo siya, kaya sa kape ng mcdolands meron warning coffee is hot or sa apple pie caution feeling is hot...