University Insults!!

**mazdamazda** · August 11th, 2006 09:19 AM

amp! tirahan na ito!!!

Favorite Looney Tunes Character
UP: Bugs Bunny
Ateneo: Daffy Duck
La Salle: Elmer Fudd
AMA: Marvin.... and Jolina

Sa UP, mahirap ang Math.
Sa Ateneo, mahirap ang English.
Sa La Salle, mahirap ang parking.
Sa Assumption, mahirap ang walang pera.
Sa UST, mahirap umuwi kapag baha.
Sa St. Scho, mahirap sumakay sa LRT
Sa San Beda, mahirap maging lalaki.

Bracelet ng mga estudyante:
La Salle: Philip Cartier
Benilde: Tennis bracelet
CRC: Tiffany
UST: Silver works
UE: friendship bracelet
AMA: rubber band
FEU: tattoo

**m2's kumander** · August 11th, 2006 09:23 AM

sir bunge daming baon na jokes ah. eto nahalukay ko tuloy yun email 'bout colleges and universities

---------
In a grand ballroom party conducted by the Philippine Society of Colleges and Universities, the Chairman of the Board got curious in knowing what particular schools attended the big celebration. So he checked out the house where it was all happening. Guess who he found and where he found them...

Ateneo - they were inside the TV room with a mic chanting the "BLUE EAGLE" spelling
La Salle - they were eves-dropping
San Beda - some were beside the Ateneans while others were at the bedroom with some Paulinians
St. Paul - they thought they were with the Ateneans
La Consolacion - they wanted to be the Paulinians
Holy Spirit - they want the Paulinians
Miriam - they were beside the room of the Ateneans, like always
Assumption - they were inside the bathroom three hours already since arriving
St. Scholastica - they were next in line to the bathroom
MCU - they cleaned the bathroom and are now mopping the sala floor
UP Diliman - everybody was lined up to the attic to have a fraternity ritual before a frat war
Trinity – they were curing the injured frat applicants from the hazing
CEU - some were doing the dishes while others were busy with the laundry
St. Benilde - they were giving orders and tips to the CEU students
St. Louis - they were in front of the air condition
UE - they don't know how to operate the air condition
San Sebastian - how the hell did they pass the security?
Letran - the security
UST - Oh my G. they were everywhere!
FEU - they were nowhere to be found
UP Los Banos - they were in the garden mowing the lawn
MLQU - sob! they were not invited
Mindanao State - they were out of place
Mapua - they were fixing the leak in the roof
TIP - they were the ones who created the leak
UP Manila - they were into semi-prohibitted drugs
NU - they were outside the house selling cigarettes
JRU - they were the ones buying
CCP - they were at the backyard drinking ginebra
PUP - they didn’t have enough money for fare to attend
Siliman - nobody understands them
PLM - they were already eating the unserved food
Adamson - went to SM and Luneta instead
Sta. Isabel - they were with the Adamsonians
STI - they went to the neighboring computer shop & played online games
TUP - they were playing against the STI students
AMA - they were spreading viruses to these computers & to nearby cellphones
Informatics - they were inviting new call center agents
CRC/UA&P - says "what in santa claus' name is this party for?"
PSBA - says "What the heck is CRC or UA&P?"
NCBA - says "What the hell is PSBA?"
APC - after 5 hours of party says "Are we late?"
FEATI - from the bedrooms & sala sofas yells "P*nyeta! Kung ayaw niyong matulog, magpatulog kayo!"
Fatima - shouts "Mabuhay ang mga taga-Fatima!!!"

have fun....

**Syuryuken** · August 11th, 2006 09:47 AM

DLSU - Di Lusot Sa UP

PSBA - Philippine School Beside Ateneo

FEATI - Filipino Estudyante Aral Tabing Ilog

PLM - Pamantasan sa Likod ng Mapua

PMI - Pamantasan Malapit sa Ilog

**Syuryuken** · August 11th, 2006 09:48 AM

Ateneo-elite
Ama-cheap

Ateneo-brilliant
Ama-dumb

Ateneo-blue
Ama-light Blue

**bajumbo** · August 11th, 2006 10:04 AM

God Made Lasallites (too rich)

then UP students (too brainy)

He combined them both to make Ateneans (too airy)

Perfection was when He combined Ateneo and UP

A breed of brainy , slightly rich, competitive yet humble individuals were born

God named them after a saint

He called them

"Thomasians"

**CtrlAltDel** · August 11th, 2006 10:06 AM

I didn't know who started this jokes in the emails but it seems pinagtutulngan nila yung LaSallites, hehehe. I post this with apologies to the LaSallites. Just for fun lang naman eh.

HOW TO IDENTIFY A LA SALLITE

A La Sallite walks into a store in Mega Mall and says: "Miss, I'd like a green parrot, please."
The salesgirl looks at him and asks: "Sir, are you a La Sallite, by any chance?"
The La Sallite replies: "O... bakit mo naman natanong 'yan? If I ordered BLUE cheese, would you
ask me if I were from Ateneo? I don't think so. If I bought a MAROON shirt, would you ask me if I were from UP?
I think not. So why then, when I want to buy a GREEN PARROT, do you ask me if I'm from La Salle?"
"Sir, kasi naman ..." replied the salesgirl, "this is a flower shop, eh."

A TYPICAL CONVERSATION

Two La Sallites meet on the street and carry on a typical La Sallite conversation:
La Sallite #1: If you can tell me how many chickens I have in this bag, I will give you both of them.
La Sallite #2: Uh, two?
La Sallite #1: Daya mo! You peeked!

BARKADA SA HUNTING

Tatlong magkaka-barkada: a La Sallite, a UP student, and an Atenean went on a hunting trip.
The first night, the guy from UP comes back to the cabin with a big deer.
The others ask him how he did it, and he coolly replies: "I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, and bang!
I got the deer!
The next night, the guy from Ateneo comes back also with a big deer. "I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, and bang!
I got the deer!" was the Atenean's story.
Therefore, the La Sallite decides to try it himself. However, the next night, as he drags himself back to the cabin, his
two companions find him bruised and bloody all over. "What happened?" they ask.
"Well," replies the La Sallite, "I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, and bang! A train hit me."

A MURDER MYSTERY

To be solved solely on the basis of pure logic. Who committed the murder?
Suspects:
The Humble Atenean
The Bright La Sallite
The Innocent Maryknoller
The Unaffected Assumptionista
The UP Graduate

Culprit:

The UP Graduate

Logic:

There is no such thing as a Humble Atenean, a Bright La Sallite, an Innocent Maryknoller or an Unaffected Assumptionista.

SUICIDAL SANDWICH

There were three friends: an Atenean, a La Sallite, and a UP student (so you know this story is fictional.)
Anyway, these three friends met for lunch everyday and ate their sandwiches.

UP: Putek! Peanut butter sandwich na naman? Sawang-sawa na ako dito ah. Pag bukas, peanut butter sandwich na naman
ang baon ko, magpapatiwakal na ako!
Ateneo: Darn! Roast beef sandwich again. I'm sick of this already. If I get another roast beef sandwich tomorrow,
I'm gonna shoot myself!
La Salle : Oh my gosh, grabe! Ham sandwich is my baon again. I am so sawa with this sandwich na, ha? If my baon
tomorrow is ham sandwich again, I'm gonna drive my CRV over the cliff!

The next morning, they again met for lunch, and, alas, they had the same sandwiches again. The UP student went back to
his dorm, pulled out a belt,and choked himself to death. The Atenean went home, got a gun, and shot himself in the head.
The La Sallite drove his CRV off a cliff.

At their funerals, their mothers were interviewed:

UP: Kung sinabi niya lang sa akin na ayaw niya na nang peanut butter sandwich, eh di sana hindi na yun yung pinabaon ko
sa kanya.
Ateneo: If he had told me that he didn't want roast beef anymore, I wouldn't have given him roast beef.
La Salle : Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit siya nagpakamatay, eh siya naman yung gumagawa ng sarili niyang sandwich!

**nicolodeon** · August 11th, 2006 10:09 AM

:bwahaha: brings back memories of yore when I was still a university student. - asaran umaatikabo pag UAAP season na.

Pero folks, go easy a bit - baka may mga members tayo na ma-offend kase they are true to their school, eka nga ng The Beach Boys.

**Syuryuken** · August 11th, 2006 10:11 AM

Where do you go for College???

If you want to be a doctor, then UST

If you want to be a lawyer, then UP

If you want to be an Engineer and got lot of money, then La Salle.

If you have some money and some brains, then Ateneo

If you want to be a Jologs, UE or FEU

**Syuryuken** · August 11th, 2006 10:11 AM

Rankings according to Course offerings.

LAW
1-UP
2-San Beda
3-Ateneo

Engnr
1-La Salle and UP
2-Mapua
3-UST

Med Courses
1-UST
2-UP
3-UP-M

Accounting
1-La Salle
2-UP
3-UST

Business
1-UP or La Salle
2-UAnp
3-Ateneo

Arts
1-UP
2-UST
3-Ateneo

Economics
1-UP
2-La Salle
3-UST

Computer Studies and Techn
1-La Salle
2-Mapua
3-UP
4-AMA-(UY........ NAKASALI...)

Education Courses
1-La Salle na-mag teteacher ka lang, sa La Salle ka pa.
2-UP
3-UST
4-AMA-Pinky AMAdor

**Syuryuken** · August 11th, 2006 10:12 AM

Nagpapasikatan ang mga estudayante ng La Salle, UP at
Ateneo.

La Salle: Mas sikat ang eskwelahan namin dahil may nga
estudyante kami na naging artista, abugado, justice at mga sikat na director.

UP: Mas sikat ang eskwelahan namin dahil may nga estudayante kami na naging mayor, senador, ambassador
at mga matataas na pulitico.

Ateneo: Luma ang eskwelahan ninyo sa amin. Ang eskwelahan namin eh meron, Presidente ng Pilipinas,
PINAKA BOBO PA SA AMIN IYON, Haah!.(Joseph Estrada).