
Originally Posted by
pop3corn
*chua_riwap, di ko maintindihan eh pero it's so eating me up inside. before kasi nun medyo bata pa ako, I am very aggressive, kahit ano pasukin ko nag-succeed ako, kahit ano gusto ko nakukuha ko and there came a point in my life na naging parasite na lang ako, material things define my well being even to the point that I ate / tasted / dined out everywhere to search myself tapos naging lumba-lumba ako. tumaba ako ng husto to the point na food become my instant gratification. and THEN there was this time, that my wife had to force me to go the gym. and since my wife is ***y enough unlike me, andami dikit ng dikit sa kanya sa gym and it just made me so insecure na kahit ano laki ng bank account, it meant nothing bec. physically I look so lousy and nobody.
for 3 years, I got so angry with my appearance and hated every model sa gym na walang ginawa kungdi pumorma lang and show off their body. and so after months of reluctance, I joined them and then I surpassed naman, naging gym body ako eh to the expense of career. kina-reer ko ang gym and I just didn't care what happened to my professional life.
tapos ganito pala, ganito pala ang isang Gym buff na sobra naging sikat sa facebook and got so many friends. bakla, models, pretty and young girls , matronas, dirty old gays became too clingy. kahit anong kilos tinitignan, kahit corny na joke na shoutout ko sa fb ni-like, all because I had the body of a fit celebrity. and I thought after achieving this, I would feel fulffilled. eh grabe, totoo pala talaga yun dumb blondes and models eh. sobrang lalong walang saysay pala buhay kung ang ipagyayabang mo lang eh body mo. it's even more demeaning than being fat and rich. kala nyo yun mga model sa TV living an exciting life, I can't even drink a decent Starbucks ice-blended coffee or eat in Sambokojin/Yakimix/Vikings kasi nga masisira ang diet ko. and then makikita ko ibang kakilala ko, they just eat go consume whenever they like
wala eh, i'm now at the crossroads again, I want to find meaning / a purpose in life, been rich done that, been HoT done that, ano pa? bakit may kulang, why do I feel so empty inside?