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  1. Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Posts
    4,241
    #1
    [SIZE="5"]ROMANCE MATHEMATICS [/SIZE]

    Smart man + smart woman = romance
    Smart man + dumb woman = affair
    Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
    Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
    ______________________________


    [SIZE="5"]OFFICE ARITHMETIC [/SIZE]

    Smart boss + smart employee = profit
    Smart boss + dumb employee = production
    Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
    Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
    _____________________________







    [SIZE="5"]SHOPPING MATH [/SIZE]

    A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
    A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
    _____________________________







    [SIZE="5"]GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS [/SIZE]

    A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
    A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
    _____________________________






    [SIZE="5"]
    HAPPINESS
    [/SIZE]

    To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
    To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
    ______________________________







    [SIZE="5"]LONGEVITY [/SIZE]

    Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
    ______________________________






    [SIZE="5"]
    PROPENSITY TO CHANGE [/SIZE]


    A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
    A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
    _____________________________







    [SIZE="5"]DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE [/SIZE]

    A woman has the last word in any argument.
    Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
    _____________________________


    [SIZE="5"]
    HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
    [/SIZE]
    Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

  2. Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    617
    #2
    hehehe i particularly like the GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS, HAPPINESS AND LONGEVITY stuff.. :evillaugh

  3. Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    39,058
    #3
    Shopping Math is soooooo true!
    I really never haggle.....

    :starwars:
    Last edited by CVT; October 18th, 2006 at 09:54 AM.

  4. Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    2,285
    #4
    got it from emails...but still a fun read....

  5. Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    3,003
    #5
    So true and soooooo funny!!!

  6. Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    1,256
    #6
    Funny but true....most of them!

  7. Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    3,601
    #7
    Haha nice one!

  8. Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    9,894
    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by mugen View Post
    [SIZE="5"]LONGEVITY [/SIZE]

    Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
    ______________________________
    hehe, this reminds me of a joke i always tell:

    woman: "honey, can you believe we've been married for 25 years?"
    man: "sweetheart, being married to you has felt like 5 minutes...."
    woman: "wow, baby, you are so sweet! do you mean that it has been such a joy to be married that the years have flown by and felt like nothing??!"
    man: "you didn't let me finish. i was going to say that being married to you has felt like 5 minutes underwater"

    :bwahaha:

  9. Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    3,239
    #9
    nyahaha! :2thumbsup:

  10. Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    1,382
    #10
    HAHAHA!!! Nice one Mugen!

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The new math