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  1. Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Posts
    657
    #1
    Three Fridays ago, our guru on relationships, Joe d mango, read a letter
    to his wife on his popular radio program Love Notes. For the past 11
    years, he had been giving advice to people who would write him letters
    about their personal problems. To the surprise of his listeners that
    Friday, instead of reading one of his usual letters, he read one that he
    had written himself to his wife Bing. Joe felt that he had to tell his
    listeners that even someone like him could go through a marital crisis,
    but
    that he survived it.
    In our 11 years of marriage it was just the two of us. I never had a close

    circle of friends and she never had one either. Life for us was just "you
    and me," day in and day out. We were literally sleeping beside each other
    for 11 years. It came to a point that there was nothing more interesting
    to talk about. I was aware I was doing that but I never did anything about

    it. We were so close yet it seemed like we were so distant.

    Then came her new circle of friends. They recently had an elementary and
    high school reunion. Remember her persistent suitor since elementary days?

    He was there. We already had four daughters and the guy had four kids of
    his own. They exchanged phone numbers. They started to text each other and

    this bothered me. A big part of it was insecurity and other part was that
    she once denied that she was texting the guy. I felt bad because she
    started hiding things from me. Then the guy asked her if they could meet
    for lunch.

    It became a source of tension between us. I finally agreed, but before
    that, I told her that I felt that I was going through the same pain again.

    I have seen so many stories like this. If! you told me the first part of
    the story I would already know where it would lead to.

    Bing accused me of being a "know-it-all" person. But deep in my heart I
    knew where she was heading. Why would a married guy see a married girl
    unless it was for business or professional reasons? Finally, even if it
    was against my will, I drove her to the meeting place. While I was waiting

    at the radio station, I wanted to call her but I knew it wasn't proper. So

    I just waited for her to tell me how their meeting went.

    When she related to me what happened I felt that she was keeping the other

    details. I was afraid to ask because I wasn't prepared to accept her
    answers. I told her that it would be best if that were their last meeting.

    She got mad and told me that I was starting to control her life.

    The following day, I saw a small, torn piece of paper that had the words,
    "lose you" in the trashcan at home. I started picking up the pieces of
    paper and putting them together. She had written: "Felt sad because I felt

    that this will be our last meeting." "Wanted to hug you..." Before I could

    figure out what the third one was, Bing was already at my back. She wanted

    to get the torn pieces of paper back. She said it was private property. We

    decided to talk. By then, I was able to figure out the third line: "Not
    sure if afraid to lose you." She had crossed it out and beside it, she had

    written, "Wanted to cry." That was what hit me. How could you lose
    something that's not even with you yet? That was a confirmation that she
    was getting emotionally attached to the guy. We fought because she didn't
    want to admit it. She said that what she had written was all about
    friendship and not about love. For the first time in our marriage she
    asked for freedom from me.

    For 11 years we were always together, and now this. She had discovered her

    own little world and wanted to explore it. I didn't want to give it to her

    but finally I gave in. I told her that she could do anything she wanted
    and not worry about how I would feel. In fact, I told her that I was
    planning to leave her and kids for a while so we could give each other the

    chance to be alone.

    We decided to give the new arrangement a try. The following day, Thursday,

    I went to work early and she texted me. I never answered back. When I
    didn't respond, she called me. She said, "I'm sorry. I love you and I miss

    you." For the first time in our marriage I said, "I love you and I miss
    you too" with tears in my eyes. I realized how much I loved her but I also

    knew how much she wanted her freedom.

    When I arrived at the station I asked for a leave. My boss advised & gt me

    to think it over, but he said that he would allow me to go on leave. After

    letting it all out I felt relieved. It was the first time in my life that
    I asked for advice about our relationship.

    While I was talking with my boss, a messenger arrived with 12 white roses
    arranged in a basket. It came from Bing. Then a text message on my
    cellphone came, "I know that no material things can ease the pain that
    you're feeling right now, but these flowers signify my pure and sincere
    intentions. I'm really sorry. Please forgive me."

    Still, a question continued to bug me: "I'm giving you the freedom. Will
    you choose to stay or go on?" I read the card, and it had the answer to my

    question: "Dear Dad, I finally realized that I made a very big mistake in
    choosing a newfound friendship at the expense of our long-time friendship.

    Please forgive me. I will always love you."

    Bing called the guy and ! told him that she wanted to end the friendship.
    He said that they could just text or call each other. Bing said that there

    was no need. We had dinner and talked up to 1am. It was like getting
    married all over again. We lost each other and found our way back. I do
    not want to go through the same pain again.

    Friday came and it was the first time in the history of Love Notes that I
    couldn't do Love Notes. I scheduled a replay. When I was at the station at

    9am, I composed a letter to Bing. I was asking myself, should I read this
    or do a replay? I chose to read the letter.

    It is not unusual to hear people say "I love you because..." but this
    story has shown us that the deeper and greater love is having to say "I
    LOVE YOU IN SPITE OF.."

  2. Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    9,894
    #2
    i'm with him...i think it's inexcusable for your wife to see a former romantic interest in secret.

    it's not about freedom - it's about respecting your spouse's feelings. if the situation was reversed i bet she would have gone crazy with jealousy

  3. Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    2,377
    #3
    nung nabasa ko to, parang "aaawww" despite all the things that happened, he still proved na mahal na mahal nya wife nya...

    sana ganito lahat ng guys... Ü

  4. Join Date
    Jan 1970
    Posts
    2,244
    #4
    buti na lang the wife was tough

  5. Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    779
    #5
    'Kabutogata' was made from tortoiseshell or horn.

    anong kayang feeling nito????
    :D

  6. Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    779
    #6
    ay maling forum!!!!!

    hehehe

  7. Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    2,716
    #7
    Originally posted by edzzz
    ay maling forum!!!!!

    hehehe
    LOLZ :bwahaha: :bwahaha: :bwahaha:

    I was reading the thread tapos biglang singit yung "Kabutogata" tawa ako ng tawa dito. sorry I really find it funny.


  8. Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Posts
    387
    #8
    If you were in the shoes of Joe....what would you have done?

  9. Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    6,797
    #9
    in marriage, it's not about "freedom" because you are not "caged" or "in prison" in the first place.

    YOU ARE COMMITED.and such committment is FREEDOM ITSELF.

    naguluhan lang siguro ung wife niya..minsan talaga hindi maalis un lalo na sa mga matagal na laging magkasama ang dalawang tao.

  10. Join Date
    Jan 1970
    Posts
    2,244
    #10
    i agree, they should not limit theirselves to both of them

    they must expand their world

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Joe D Mango's letter