The Great Dilemma of Pinoys Abroad

[CLAVEL3699]

bro hindi ata salot tawag dyan kundi!!!

Linta!!! parasite!!!

[johnnyd]

yan ang concept ng extended family yun nga lang talagang merong family member na abusado.

i have 2 sisters & 1 brother abroad. 2 na lang kami dito para may kasama parents namin. hindi sila obligado na magpadala ng pera sa parents namin. and when they come home for a visit, hindi kami humihingi ng pasalubong. we are happ with whatever they give us. what is important is they visited us. whatever bilin namin for them to buy, we make it a point to pay for it. pag sinabing wag na, thank you. pag binayaran, ty at nadala nyo, mura pa rin. gastos pa nga if my brother & sisters come home kasi we treat them sa mga restos, may pasyal pa. kung sabagay reciprocal naman. they will also insist on spending & giving something to us. i think the dilemma discussed here is very obvious sa lower social classes because of the hard times. pero as earlier said, marami ding tumatamad dahil dyan.

[nucci]

observation ko lang, when OFWs are asked how much they make abroad, automatic sa nagtatanong na i-multiply sa 50 or 55 yung sweldo. kino-convert aga sa pesos. so akala nila super yaman na yung tao.

i think mali yun kasi pag nasa abroad ka, di naman pesos ang gastos. dollars ang sweldo, pero dollars din naman ang gastos.

so yan siguro isang reason kaya kala ng iba eh may obligation ang OFW na tulungan or bigyan ng pera lahat ng relatives or kapitbahay. tsk!

[bad driver]

Moneywhiz and M54,

yeah, libre yun. I can understand practicality pero it was not the case.

[enteng]

Sa totoo lang ive been working na po sa Barko for ilang years na rin at madalas yan ang iniisip ko lalo na nga ngayon na ang dating ko sa atin ay Dec.ngayon pa nga lang di ko na alam ang gagawin ko kasi matagal na rin akong di nakakapag pasko sa atin pero bahala na nakakahiya man isipin marami pa rin sa atin ang ganyan talaga ang takbo ng mga isipan.

[midinite]

a good read, nicely written by a friend from korea who's now married to a brit...

I'm talking about the culture of dependence among Filipinos who have family members working or living abroad.

To be clear, I'm not counting those who depend on their spouses for financial support, or those who sacrifice being away from their spouses in order to send their kids to good schools or save up money for a house or a business or whatever it is that will make their lives better. I'm not even counting those who depend on their siblings to go to college (although I don't think it's fair for older children to carry this burden) or old parents whose old-age and weak health leave them no other choice but to depend on their children in order to live.

What annoys me are those people who shamelessly ask for money all the time and actually feel entitled doing so because they assume that their sibling/relative abroad has a better life than they do. Take one of my Pinay friends, for instance. She sends her mother money every month and her 7 siblings all get a share. What's the money for? For house bills, for her siblings' children's school expenses, pambili ng gas, bigas, gatas, etc. Mostly, to support her siblings' baby factories. Worse, some of them don't even bother to work. As in, mega umasa na lang sa remittances ni ate. Of course, it makes perfect sense. Why bother to look for fish when the fish just jumps on your plate every time you need it? She tried a couple of times to send them huge amounts of money to start businesses of their own (freely given, as usual, since the concept of "paying up" seems to be an unknown concept among families) but it always ended up the same. Some new sorts of imaginary expenses come from nowhere and before you know it, kaboom! the money's gone, and all you can do is sigh.

Institutionalized highway robbery. It makes me angry to think about it.


And no, I don't believe that this is a result of widespread poverty. My family is not rich either, but they don't obligate me or push me against the wall with all these burdens and financial responsibilities. My parents could, if they wanted to. Afterall, they shed blood and sweat to send me to good schools, and I'm the eldest child. Of course, there have been instances when they had emergency financial problems and as a family member, I wanted to help or pitch in. But then again, it's a gesture of appreciation, and not an obligation. They understand that Dave and I are not exactly living on a bed of roses.

Thus, I couldn't help but wonder: Aside from the problem of brain-drain, and families drifting apart, and a government relaxing on overseas remittances, is this phenomenon of Pinoy diaspora also creating a new breed of leeches and a double-standard or false sense of filial piety?

Nakaka-kablam! At akala ko pa naman, ang mga Pinoy eh galit sa mga walanghiya.

IMHO, i think this person is ranting...first of all, it is not unique to pinoys nor the plight of pinoys overseas...or whatever...she is on a high horse...

The simple fact of the matter is that "if you give a inch, people will want a foot, a foot they will want a mile..." and that isnt even a pinoy saying...

No one is holding her friend/s at gunpoint to send money home...because the more she does the more she spoils her endless line of dependents (I too was assigned abroad for 10 years)...and when her friends spoil them they dont try...cut em loose... let em work for their money. It is a cycle and the culprits as well are the ones who feed it...so wake up lady...you are going to have a kid...it is the same thing...you dont spoil kids...because human nature is such that when you do it is likely they will take advantage of it...

Easy for her to say diba...to criticise her own from outside when they are also the ones who are complicit to the crime?

when people are faced with adversity they will rise to the occassion or simply fail..that is how we weed out diba?

[midinite]

if she is truly angry then she should do the right thing and tell her friends to stop sending money back. she wont be popular but at least she will be correcting a wrong...