well, one way is NOT to use oil based lubricants near or on the condom. If you do need lubrication, always use water based lubricants. The most common you can buy would be KY gel from your neighborhood drugstore.

As for noticing if the condom is torn, it depends on how big the tear. If its a small hole, normally its not noticed. If its completely torn, yup, you can really "feel" it. :mrgreen:

If you are a bit wary of getting a torn condom, then avoid using the ultra-thin condoms. Or use two condoms one over the other. (But this will neutralize the feeling to the guy)