Difference between Men and Women

[chilli]

Just received this from a friend. I find mostly of these true based on my observations too

[SIZE=2]ON RELATIONSHIPS:
When a relationship ends, a woman cries till her tear ducts run dry, yaks on and on to her gfs, writes a poem, listens to sad music, raids the shops at Megamall and goes on a full beauty make-over, all these in a month or less. Then she goes on with her life. A man only reacts from 6 months to a year after the break-up. This is the 3 a.m. drunken call he makes to his ex: " I hate you, you ruined my life... Uh, baka pwede pa tayo?"
ON MATURITY:
Women take to maturity faster and earlier. A 16-year-old female can effectively care for an infant. A 16-year-old male can make the family dog drink Tanduay. That's why high school romances rarely work out.
ON PHONE ATTITUDE:
A man uses the phone only if he has something specific to say: "Pare basket tayo bukas. Gym, 8 sharp. Bye." He delivers a short telegraphic message and hangs up after 6 minutes. A woman doesn't need a particular reason to call a friend. She can visit her gal pal for a week and upon returning home, call the same friend and chat for three hours!
ON HANDWRITING:
Men's chicken-scratch handwriting gives us a headache. Women's letters give men migraine: she uses scented and colored stationeries and dot her i's with circles and hearts. She writes to DUMP him and puts a smiley face of a sunflower at the end of the letter.
ON DIRECTIONS:
When a female driver gets lost, she stops at a gas station and asks for directions. A male driver simply won't, even if a little voice inside his head is going, "May makakakita pa kaya sa atin ng buhay?" He'll drive around for two hours, trying to figure a way out!
ON PHOTOGRAPHY:
Men take photography very seriously. They shell out thousands of pesos for state-of-the-art cameras and other equipments, build dark rooms and take photography classes. Women buy Kodak instamatics... and end up taking better pix.
ON BOX I NG:
Observe a couple watching a boxing match on TV. Dela Hoya knocks Chavez and the wife says, "Kawawa naman, ang sakit siguro." Her husband groans, doubles over and actually feels the pain.
ON VANITY:
Men are vain. They check their reflection on mirrors every chance they get. Women will check themselves out on shiny surface: mirrors, spoons, silver balloons, store windows, some guy's bald head.
ON TOYS:
Little girls love toys but outgrow them at age 11 or 12. When little boys grow older, their toys just get more expensive, not to mention SILLY and IMPRACTICAL - mini TVs, car; phones, VI DEO GAMES!
ON DRESSING UP:
Women will dress up to go to the mall, beauty parlor or even the grocery store at the corner.Men dress up for weddings.
ON HYGIENE:
A man has 6 items (toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, shaving cream, soap, shampoo) in the bathroom.A woman has 247, including such indispensable products as hypoallergenic eye cream, pore refining;cleanser/toner/essence, dramatically different and non-fragrance clarifying lotion #10 and apricot scrubs!!!
ON EATING OUT:
When eating out, men will each throw out large bills. No one has a smaller bill and some unlucky guy would end up paying. When women dine out, as soon as the check arrives, out comes pocket calculators!!
ON TRAVEL:
I f a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack for 5 days worth of clothes and he will wear some things twice. A woman will pack 21 changes of clothes coz she doesn't know what she'll feel like wearing each day.
ON RESTROOMS:
Men use restrooms for purely biological reasons.Women see restrooms as social lounges. Men in a restroom will not speak to each other. Women who have never met before will leave a restroom giggling together like old friends. And NEVER in the history of the world has a man excused himself from a restaurant by saying, "Pare, I gotta pee. Samahan mo ako please?"

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[valvura]

Found on my archives, re same subject.
Quote:
How to Shower - Like A Woman
1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry basket according to lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so that you can complain and whine even more about how you're getting fat.
4. Get in the shower. Look for facecloth, armcloth, legcloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
6. Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
7. Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner enhanced with natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red raw.
9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
10. Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes at least fifteen minutes as you must make sure that it has all come off).
11. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead.
12. Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you freeze / roast
13. Turn off shower.
14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mould spots with Mould and Mildew Remover.
15. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small African Country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.
16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a blemish. Attack with nails/tweezers/stanley knife/sander/power drill if found.
17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
18. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas and then rush to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed.


How to Shower - Like A Man
1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake willy at her making a "wey hey" sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror, suck in your gut, look for pecs. Admire yourself in the mirror.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one).
6. Wash your face.
7. Wash your armpits.
8. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.
9. Wash your privates and surrounding area.
10. Ensure you leave "special" hair on the soap bar.
11. Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).
12. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
13. Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror.
14. Pee (in the shower).
15. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the bath the whole time.
16. Partially dry off.
17. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles. Admire self again.
18. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.
19. Leave bathroom light on.
20. Return to the bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass your wife, pull off towel, grab willy, repeat "Wey hey" sound. 21. Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed.

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[chilli]

nice one

[1D4LV]

Just received this from a friend. I find mostly of these true based on my observations too


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tee-hee.
my reactions.

on relationships, men are usually shorter...when i had my own share of breakups before, dalawang pitcher lang ng zombie katapat nyan. kinabukasan limot ko na. hehehehe.

on phone use.... true, true...
on handwriting, hmmm. probably for the general guys and gals out there. imho, my handwriting is better than my wife's. hehehehe.
on photography... true for me, maybe once or twice. i was using a DSLR and my wife was using her Powershot A610. when i uploaded both pics sa PC, i need to retouch my pictures.... hehehehe, complicated kasi yung controls ng DSLR eh.
on vanity... not true for me..
on directions.... true, true...
on toys.... true, true.... hehehe. specially on cars and electronic gadgets.
on dressing up, again...true.
on hygiene... partially true... you forgot men have deodorants and after shave cologne... i also use hand lotions (dahil dried ang hands ko..), but my wife have eye toners, skin toners, astringents, concealers, body lotions, foot lotions, liquid foundations, press powder, and yung pappapula ng pisngi na liquid. sa hair, may conditioner, shampoo, mousse, dryer and hair iron.

sa parlor, inaabot sya ng 2-3 hours sa pagpapagupit pa lang, sa cellophane, etc. while ako, pag haircut, 15 minutes tapos na.

on travel, for me, if i go on a 5 day trip locally, i pack for three days worth. jeans, i usually wear for three days (hehehe), shirts and underwear, i wash sa hotel. socks, minsan inuulit ko. hehehehehe. my wife, if we go on a 5 day trip, she usually packs for 8 days. tapos ako magkakarga ng mga bags nya...

[chilli]

ako rin minsan over yung dala kong damit, overnight lang naman

[_Cathy_]

i read somewhere,
that while many men do not kiss and tell,
many females most certainly do among themselves, including the most detailed of details!
i guess, osang is one such example.
heh heh.

100% accurate. Last night just did with my office friend and we talked about it for 4 hrs. It was in such detail I felt I was listening to xerex [emoji23]

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[dr. d]

100% accurate. Last night just did with my office friend and we talked about it for 4 hrs. It was in such detail I felt I was listening to xerex [emoji23]

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.. you mean...
including...!!!
good gosh!
...mommy dionesia would have declared, "malaswa!"
heh heh.

[bloowolf]

.. you mean...
including...!!!
good gosh!
...mommy dionesia would have declared, "malaswa!"
heh heh.

Actually, my wife told me stories of what happens in all women’s dorms. Women go into details & actions. Men actually never do that. Us men may admit things but, we don’t go into any details & we keep the conversation short when it comes to those.


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[_Cathy_]

.. you mean...
including...!!!
good gosh!
...mommy dionesia would have declared, "malaswa!"
heh heh.

That's how girls are. Awkward nga because when I see their bfs lol. Very few would never talk about it

Actually, my wife told me stories of what happens in all women’s dorms. Women go into details & actions. Men actually never do that. Us men may admit things but, we don’t go into any details & we keep the conversation short when it comes to those.


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Yup that's what my exes told me din, kasi respeto yun ng guys sa SOs nila. Though some men talk pag play time lang nila yun babae

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[bloowolf]

That's how girls are. Very few would never talk about it

Yup that's what my exes told me din, kasi respeto yun ng guys sa SOs nila. Though some men talk pag play time lang nila yun babae

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Men talk are just innuendos. If we talk too much about *** & get branded as “manyaks”, it is insulting for us. Men don’t even want to admit to each other they go to spakols for their fix. So, women’s secrets are safe with men, at least those I know. Nowadays, in soc med, theres so much revenge.


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